


Little Lion Man

by injerannie94



Series: Take a lot to take me away from you [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Africa, Angst, Bard is a stoner, Camping, F/M, Fili and Tauriel are twins, Fili is a safari guide, Hunting, Kenya, Kili is a budding wildlife photographer, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Racism, Mentions of homophobia, Modern AU, Monkeys, NGO work, Ori and Nori are NGO workers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parents divorce, Poaching, Safari, Single Parents, Slow Build, and not sorry forr it, butchering Tolkein's original genealogies, fears of flying, fili and kili are not related, just a bit, lol, posh colonial life, spoilers in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:52:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 69,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2352329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injerannie94/pseuds/injerannie94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with Kili's first visit to Kenya, an attempt to try and kick-start his hopeful career in wildlife photography. He was expecting to fall in love with the country, but perhaps not to find a firm friend in his blonde white Kenyan safari guide.</p><p>When Kili leaves Kenya after a glorious two weeks, he knows he will be back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mara

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I've been thinking of for a while, updates should be fairly quick as I've already written a lot. It means a lot to me as many of this is based on places I've lived and experiences I've had.
> 
> I know most people won't be familiar with the setting so I'll be including lots of explanatory notes! For starters: the Masai Mara is one of the largest national parks in Kenya and is host to the Great Migration during the summer months, in which thousands of wildebeest and other animals cross the river dividing the Masai Mara from the Serengeti in Tanzania in search of the Mara's green plains. This is among the things Kili has come to see in the story and attracts hundreds of observers each year. Hope that clarifies things!
> 
> Please rate/comment/feedback/make suggestions, everything is welcome :)
> 
> hope you all enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili arrives in Kenya for the first time, and meets Philip Baggins. They are fast friends, and Kili's safari goes better than he could have imagined.

The second the plane dipped below the cloudline, Kili was almost out of his seat, straining against his seatbelt to take in every inch of the country now spread out underneath him. Of course, most of it was an inscrutable black mass, given that it was four AM Nairobi local time, but as the plane sank lower and lower, more and more was discernible by the pinprick light of streetlamps.

 

After the plane landed (amid a smattering of claps from the few passengers still awake) a lime green coach brought them to the International Arrivals. Kili was almost giddy with excitement as he filled in the visa form and handed over a handful of notes. The man with bloodshot eyes behind the counter, after requesting he lay the fingers and thumb of each hand on the fingerprint reading machine on the desk, handed him back his passport. Kili stared excitedly at his temporary Kenyan visa.

 

He waited forty minutes for his luggage, examining the advertisements eagerly on the walls: ‘Safaricom welcomes you to Kenya!’ accompanied by photos of smiling people. Kili recognised a Masai warrior in one of the posters and the phrase ‘Hakuna Matata’ on another. Kíli pondered what Safaricom was.

 

Outside in the refreshing air, Kili headed for a man holding an A4 piece of paper with ‘Kirian Durin’ printed neatly on it. The man took his suitcase, smiling broadly and introduced himself as Alex. He would be taking Kili to his hotel and driving him to the travel agency office when it opened in the morning.

 

They drove for around half an hour, Alex offering titbits of information about their surroundings as they drove. Kili drank in every mundane detail eagerly with his eyes and ears. Alex helped Kili check in and get his room key, then told him he would be back at ten to pick him up.

 

Kili sat down on the bed, too excited to sleep even though he knew he ought to. It was six am and he still had hours before breakfast would open. He showered, emptying both the miniature shampoo and conditioner bottles over his dark hair, which clung wetly to his shoulder blades as he set about exploring his room, staring out of the window, checking every cupboard and examining the pamphlets and flyers in one of the drawers. Eventually he settled for poring over his guidebook for the enth time, thumbing the already worn, dog-eared pages.

 

As soon as it was nine, Kili went down for breakfast, helping himself to a bowl of fresh fruit, a hefty serving of scrambled eggs, three pieces of toast, two sausages, a cup of tea with three sugars and a glass of fresh passion fruit juice from the buffet. Kili was so entranced by the tiny banana, less than half the size of the ones he was used to in England that he didn’t notice the waiters and a few other guests staring at the vast amount of food he was putting away.

 

When he had finished licking the remnants of jam off his fingers, Kili went back to his room and waited impatiently for the minutes to tick by. At ten to ten, he dragged his suitcase down to reception and saw with delight that Alex had arrived early. Kili stared out of the window again for the duration of the drive; now the sun was up there was so much to see! It was like nowhere else he’d ever been before.

 

Eventually they pulled up beside a row of buildings, one of which bore a hand-painted sign (most of the signs here were hand-painted, Kili noticed) reading ‘Tampani Travels and Tours’ next to a logo Kili recognised. Alex gestured at the building and took Kili’s suitcase out of the car before waving cheerily and saying goodbye.

 

Kili entered the building, dragging his case, and was waved over to a chair in front of a desk opposite a smartly dressed woman with a nametag reading Gayle. After asking his name and tapping the computer for a few seconds, she printed a few pages, stapled them together and handed them to him. She proceeded to explain the itinerary outlined on the papers for him (even though Kili had read, reread and practically memorised every detail of his trip about a week after booking it) and asked if he had any questions. Kili was bursting with them, but he knew they weren’t the kind she would be interested in answering, so said no.

 

The woman rapped at a window behind her and called something in Kiswahili. Someone shouted back.

 

A minute later a white man with tawny blonde hair tied back in a loose bun so it was impossible to tell how long it really was came through the door on his left. He was wearing sand coloured shorts, a dark green polo shirt with the company logo embroidered on the top pocket and hiking boots. One look at this man’s tanned skin told Kili he was someone who spent a lot of time outdoors. He exchanged a few words with Gayle in Swahili, then held his hand out to Kili with a broad smile.

 

“I’m Philip. Nice to meet you.”

 

“I’m Kili.” Kili shook the proffered hand and as soon as he let go, Philip gestured for him to follow him. Kili thanked Gayle and hurried after him. Philip led him to a storeroom at the back.

 

“So, camping. I’m guessing you didn’t manage to bring any kit with you?”

 

“Only a sleeping bag.” Kili did not mention he had stashed his favourite pillowcase in there as well, the one that smelled of comfort, the one he could fall asleep anywhere with and brought with him whenever he knew he would be away from home for a while.

 

Philip nodded and pulled two tents from a shelf, two pillows and a sleeping bag from another. He led them into a carpark and slung these and Kili’s suitcase into the back of a long khaki green Land Cruiser.

 

“Hop in.”

 

Kili got into the front seat and peered back at the long body of the car. It had three rows of seats.

 

“It’s huge!” Kili exclaimed before he could stop himself. He was never very good at keeping his thoughts to himself.

 

“It’s a safari vehicle. You’ll see a lot of these.”

 

“And… it’s all just for me?”

 

Philip grinned. “Your mother wrote us an email a few days ago warning us to take care of you. We keep our promises.”

 

Kili groaned and Philip laughed. “Trust my mother to ruin any illusions I had of independence…”

 

“You sometimes see matatus – mini-buses,” Philip explained at Kili’s questioning look, “They go around the parks too. These ones are great because the roof pops up so you can stand up and get the best view. You’ll see when we get to the Mara.” Philip started the engine. “So is this your first time in Kenya?”

 

Kili’s eyes were irresistibly drawn, as usual, to the window. “Yeah,” he replied. “First time out of Europe actually. Have you been here long?”

 

“I was born here. I’ve lived here all my life.”

 

“No offence, but I was kindof not expecting you to be white,” Kili said before he could stop himself.

 

To his relief, Philip laughed. “That’s okay. There’s not a lot of white people working for tour companies like this one, or at least not as guides anyway.”

 

“Is that tough?” Kili asked.

 

“Nah. I love this job. At the beginning I got a bit of stick from the other guys, but then they found out I could speak Swahili and I give as good as I get. We’re all friendly. Where are you from?”

 

Kili was a little taken aback at having a question thrown back at him. “England, nothing interesting,” he sighed. “My name isn’t really Kili, it’s Kirian. They said when I was little I couldn’t pronounce my ‘r’s properly so I used to call myself Kili. It used to be just my family that used it, but I quite like it and almost everyone calls me that now. Besides, what kind of a stupid name is Kirian.” Kili made a face.

 

“Coincidence – my nickname is Fili.”

 

“No way!”

 

“Philip, Fili – you could see how it came about. My dad came up with it, he has a rather annoying habit of being able to make up nicknames and make them stick over the years.”

 

Kili grinned. “Fili and Kili – that is too weird.”

 

“Very weird.”

 

“Is it okay if I call you Fili?”

 

Philip glanced sideways at the lanky dark-haired boy. He guessed he must have been in his early twenties. He was lean and had a rather scrawny face, but his eyes were full of life and sparkle. As was his personality, apparently.

 

“Why not,” Fili decided. “What the heck.”

 

Kili’s smile broadened and for a second Phil- Fili – smiled back, before Kili let out an enormous, sudden yawn.

 

“Your flight came in early didn’t it? Have you not slept?”

 

“Wasn’t tired til now,” Kili told him truthfully.

 

“You’ll want to take a nap now then while the road is still tarmac. You’ll not have a chance of sleep once the highway turns to the dirt track,” Fili said, grinning roguishly.

 

Waves of tiredness were suddenly washing over Kili. He nodded compliantly and settled his chair back a little before kicking off his shoes and curling up on the canvas covered seat.

 

……

 

The abrupt juddering of the car woke Kili some hours later and he jerked awake. His head had been thrown back, and he snapped his mouth shut, realising it was hanging open wide enough to catch flies. He also had the very self-conscious feeling he may have been drooling. He glanced subtly sideways at Phi – _Fili!_ he reminded himself – and saw with no small degree of relief that he was staring straight ahead.

 

“Had a nice nap?”

 

“I guess.” Kili rubbed his eyes and sat up. “I see what you mean about the road.”

 

“It like this the rest of the way. About three hours.” 

 

Kili didn’t mind; he actually strangely enjoyed the bone-rattling ride, body swaying as the car lumped over potholes and rocky gravel, swerving around the worst of the dips in the road. It reminded him of one of those machines in the gym that you stood on which vibrated violently, to supposedly release the tension in your muscles he guessed. He knocked his head a few times against the window and he pretended Fili hadn’t noticed, though the tiny smile Fili was clearly trying to suppress told him he had.

 

Kili pulled his camera out of his rucksack, with the intention of photographing some of the countryside around them, red earth and dusky grass studded with yellow-trunked fever trees and spiny acacias, stretching on for miles to touch the foot of swelling purple mountains on the horizon.

 

“That’s a decent camera,” Fili commented, glancing over interestedly as Kili checked he had the right lens.

 

Kili perked up. “I’m hoping to become a wildlife photographer,” he said proudly. “That’s why I came out. This is my first real expedition, you could say.”

 

“Ah, that explains it. I wondered why you were staying so long. Two weeks is a long time, most people only come for a few days, then move on to somewhere else, like the coast or something.” Fili looked almost approving, slowing down the car so Kili could take a few shots.

 

“I’m counting on you to provide some good photo opportunities.”

 

“No pressure…”

 

Kili pointed up at the sky. “Look! It’s a plane! My god, it’s tiny!”

 

Fili could have laughed at his enthusiasm. “Have you seen this road? Most people fly to the Mara. I have to admit, I was a little surprised you chose the drive.”

 

“I’m on a bit of a tight budget,” Kili mumbled. “Hence the camping.”

 

“Ah.”

 

The rest of the drive passed in amicable conversation. By the time they arrived, dusk was on its way and they hastily set up their two tents and unfurled their mattresses and sleeping bags. Fili had also brought what he called a mess tent – essentially a gazebo with three sides closed and one side open. He said it would serve as a kitchen and promptly pulled out several bags of food. Kili gaped and Fili said he’d pulled into a supermarket while Kili was sleeping. Kili blushed. 

 

“The restaurant is down there.” Fili pointed. Kili looked confused. “Do you want me to walk you there?” Fili added. Kili’s face dropped.

 

“Aren – aren’t we eating together?” Kili asked, crestfallen.

 

Fili paused. Usually, the guide didn’t eat with the clients – and that was fair enough of course, when people came on holiday they didn’t need a stranger hanging out with them, eating with them, being around them constantly. And with most clients, he’d had enough of them during the day to not want to be hanging around with them all night too. But then again, people didn’t usually come here on their own. Kili struck him as brave, coming out here to pursue a dream career all on his own, having never been out of Europe before. And he and Kili had been getting on so well, it seemed a shame to disappoint him.

 

“If you want me to, I guess,” he replied.

 

Kili smiled, which only brightened during the course of their lively chat over dinner, but the smile slid off his face at the end of the meal when he saw the bill. The food had been good, but he didn’t think it had really warranted _that_ much…

 

Fili didn’t miss the expression on Kili’s face as he carefully counted out his portion of the bill, leaving some extra as a tip.

 

“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “This place is overpriced anyway. We can do our own cooking, if you want. Although I have to tell you, I’m a guide, not a cook, so you’ll be giving me a hand in the kitchen,” Fili added as a warning.

 

Kili looked relieved.

 

……

 

“Kili Durin, this is your wake-up call. It is six thirty and it is time to go on safari.”

 

Kili suppressed the desire to groan. “You weren’t kidding when you mentioned early starts,” he muttered.

 

“Kili Durin, this is your wake-up call. Are you alive?”

 

“Yes,” he called, reluctantly unzipping his sleeping bag and sighing as he felt the heat flee from his body, replaced by cold air. He stumbled outside, still in his flannel pyjama bottoms and a hoodie.

 

“What on earth are you wearing?”

 

Fili looked up. “Good morning. It’s a kikoi.”

 

“A what?”

 

“Like a sarong. And before you ask, yes it is manly to wear one.” Fili twirled. It was basically a rectangular piece of fabric, with fringes down the short sides, and a stripe along the bottom, which Fili wore wrapped around his waist like a skirt.

 

“If you say so,” Kili mumbled. He was intrigued however.

 

Fili handed him a cup of tea. “We can eat breakfast on the road once we’ve found something nice to look at. There’s a thermos, hot chocolate, coffee, more tea.”

 

“Sounds amazing.” The hot tea was helping him to wake up, and as his brain clunked back into full alertness, Kili’s usual excitement started to bubble. He was about to go on his first safari _ever_ , take photos of the animals he’d only read about in books and seen in documentaries. He could barely believe he was about to experience this firsthand, one of his lifelong dreams coming true _._

 

The sun rose over the blue hills in the distance, its rays illuminating the plains with orange. It was a beautiful light, Kili thought, and his heart leapt into his mouth as he caught sigh of his first bit of wildlife – some giraffes silhouetted beautifully against the early morning light. Next to them grazed a small group of pale brown antelope.

 

“Those are impala,” Fili told him. “A bachelor group. Only the males have horns.”

 

“And what are they?” Kili asked, pointing to another group, smaller with black stripes on their sides above their white stomachs and short swishing tails.

 

“Thompsons gazelle. I’ll be testing you on all your gazelle at the end of the two weeks, so I hope you’re paying attention. I call it the antelope challenge.”

 

Kili tried to commit all the animals to memory as Fili reeled them off – but by the end of the day there was almost too many to cope. He had heard of most of these animals, but some were completely new to him: like the tiny dik-dik, with their bottomless liquid eyes; topis, recognisable by the black smear on their flank that looked almost like an artists charcoal thumbprint; and eland, the largest antelope in Africa.

 

It was just after their first sighting of a lion (a lone male, stalking off into the bush to nap for the hottest hours of the day) that Fili hit a rock on the road a little too enthusiastically and swore as he felt air rushing out of the tyre.

 

“Bugger, gotta change the tyre.” Fili huffed and pulled off his smart work polo, fetching the tools out of the back. Kili got out and watched him. He switched his camera to the film setting.

 

“And here, we have the Spotted Philip,” he stage-whispered, taking inspiration from David Attenborough.

 

“Oi, watch who you’re calling spotty,” Fili called in a mock grumpy tone. He pulled a Tarzan pose for the camera, pouting his lips and flexing his muscles. Kili laughed.

 

“See how it attends to the strange metal box it has built for itself – such a piece of technology requires much care and affection, similar to that it pays to its young…”

 

In almost no time, Fili had replaced the useless tyre and they were back on the road, Kili almost rocketing out of his seat with excitement when they caught news of a cheetah sighting on the walkie-talkie radio fixed to the car stereo.

 

……

 

By the time they returned to camp in the evening, Kili was elated. He had already taken over two hundred pictures, and was glad he had brought extra SD cards.

 

“Tomorarow, we’ll head to the river and see if we can catch any of the crossing,” Fili told him.

 

Kili had read about the crossing, seen it in documentaries, and he was almost beside himself at the thought of witnessing it with his own eyes.

 

It turned out the crossing wasn’t quite as action-packed as television would have had him believe. They waited for several hours to see if the milling wildebeests on the other side would brave the steep bank and the roiling waters, to no avail. As they drove down the river, they saw many carcasses, bloated and whitening, floating downstream. Some were beached on the shallow parts of the river, and splayed, stiff, legs sticking up in the air ungainly.

 

“On TV, they always emphasise how the crocodiles lie in wait for the wildebeest in the river,” Fili said quietly. “But in reality, most of the wildebeest just drown. The crocs don’t even need to catch one. Look.”

 

Their car was parked at the top of the river’s high bank. They had a good view of the brown swirling waters and the grisly bodies in it. What looked like a sinuously moving log was drifting in the direction of one of the corpses. Kili realised it was a crocodile as it opened its mouth and began tearing at the beast’s skin with its lethal-looking teeth. Once it broke the skin, it began pulling out its stringy entrails.

 

“Charming.”

 

Kili decided against capturing the moment with his camera, and they moved on.

 

……

 

He was still having a hard time telling the difference between Grants and Thompsons gazelle, but he could point out most of the others with ease.

 

Every night before he crashed in his tent, he looked through the day’s photos, deleting the unnecessary ones, reliving the day with glee.

 

For the first few days, Fili wore his shorts and official polo on safari. But Kili had taken a liking to Fili’s kikois and asked if he could borrow one. They looked a right pair in their tshirts and kikois, munching on biscuits as they perched on the roof of the car, watching a pack of about ten lions lazing on the grass-covered dunes. Not far away was a herd of apparently unsuspecting zebra. Fili recognised this behaviour – the lions were planning a hunt. He knew it would make a fantastic photo, so he stopped the car and they watched and waited.

 

Soon their conversation, which had seemed to be non-stop all day, turned to family. Kili had told Fili about his mad uncle Frerin, an avid traveller who mostly seemed to reside these days in Australia (though with Frerin, it was hard to tell) who had been intensely jealous when he found out Kili was coming to Kenya. Fili had already told him about his mother, living in London with her new partner, and his sister, Tauriel, mostly known as Tory, who was also living in London, having just finished university.

 

“You never talk about your dad,” Kili said suddenly.

 

“I’ve never heard you mention yours,” Fili deflected lightly.

 

“My dad died when I was thirteen,” Kili said softly.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Fili replied quietly.

 

“It’s okay. He’d have loved it here.” Kili met Fili’s eyes and smiled to show he meant it.

 

“Do you mind me asking – how did he die?”

 

“Pancreatic cancer. He had it when I was little and it came back. We knew it was coming. But still a shock, of course.”

 

“Of course,” Fili repeated.

 

“Kind of fucked up my exams, but I scraped through and managed to get my A-levels and go to uni.”

 

Fili tried to change the subject but Kili cut across him before he could speak. “So where’s your dad?”

 

“He lives at Naivasha – it’s a lake a few hours north of Nairobi. But I don’t see a lot of him,” Fili said shortly.

 

“By choice or by chance?” Kili’s tone sounded light. Fili licked his lips and thought before answering.

 

“Sometimes my dad can be a racist twat,” he said finally.

 

“Ah.”

 

“He’s very conservative. We don’t get along that well. He’s old colonial stock and that makes me sick.”

 

“I see.”

 

“And he kept telling me it was my fault he and my mum split up.”

 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Kili assured him quietly.

 

“Oh, I know it’s not,” Fili replied contemptuously. “I wasn’t surprised when it happened, I was more surprised that my mum stayed that long. I just wish he didn’t take it out on me. And as I said, he’s very conservative, so telling him I’m gay went down like a lead balloon too.”

 

Fili’s heart stopped for a second as the words came tumbling out of his mouth. He couldn’t believe he’d just said that to a client, and even if he and Kili got on well, that didn’t change the fact they’d only known eachother a few days – but Kili just chuckled lightly and said, “I can imagine.”

 

There was a short silence. “Anyway, he used to own a rose farm but he basically left that to my uncle Bilbo when he came out here to live with us. Now he travels a lot. At least I can avoid him for most of the time,” Fili finished.

 

“Didn’t you say you had a sister?”

 

“Yes.” Fili made a face.

 

“Is she here too?

 

“No. She went with my mum to England when they split up. We still saw eachother loads though, every Christmas and I used to spend half of the summer there.”

 

“Is she older or younger?”

 

“We’re twins, actually.”

 

“Twins?!?” The way Kili reacted it was as if he’d never heard such a thing before. “That’s _so_ cool! I’d love to have a twin!”

 

“Everyone thinks its cool until they’ve got one. Then they realise how annoying they are.” Fili grimaced again and Kili laughed.

 

“I haven’t got any siblings. I’ve always wanted one.” Kili sounded wistful.

 

“We fought like _cats_. I think they were almost relieved when she decided she wanted to go with mum and I wanted to stay here.”

 

“Why did you?”

 

Fili shrugged. “I just – I didn’t want to go to England. My home is here, even if it does mean living with my dad.” Fili looked pensive and he stared across the low grassy dunes at the lounging lions. There were a few cubs with them; they seemed more awake than their adult counterparts, batting eachother over the ears as they wrestled playfully.

 

“He sent me to boarding school when I was eight. Said he couldn’t cope.”

 

“When you were _eight_?!”

 

“I hated it there. Unsurprisingly. But I still stayed when they offered to move me to some boarding school in England. I met someone there in my last two years of school.” A rueful smile spread across Fili’s face, and he seemed to be full of memories. “Realising I was gay was never a revelation to me, I kind of always knew it. I’ve never been with a girl, never felt the inclination. I think he was the same. We kept it a bit hush-hush but it was the first time I’d ever been happy at that school.”

 

“What happened to him?” Kili asked.

 

Fili wasn’t sure what was making him tell Kili his life story. He trusted him, he supposed. And Kili seemed genuinely interested.

 

“He went to uni so we broke up. We parted on good terms though. It was just the thought of long distance was a bit too much.”

 

Kili smiled at the happy ending. He peered out with his binoculars, frowning at the lions. One had appeared to have gone to sleep, lolled onto one side, basking in the sun with its eyes closed. Maybe they weren’t going to see a chase after all.

 

“I think we’d better get going,” Fili said. “They aren’t doing much. And it’s five o clock, it’ll be dark and the gates will be closing soon.”

 

Kili reluctantly agreed. They headed back in the direction of the exit. The car seemed to be struggling, and suddenly they heard a clunk and the car jerked to a stop.

 

“Dammit.” Fili tried the engine; the car sputtered and made another loud clunking noise before growling into life. Fili frowned. “That doesn’t sound right.”

 

He got out of the car and peered underneath it. He swore. “Shit. Axle’s cracked.”

 

“Oh shit.” Kili didn’t really know what that meant, his knowledge of cars stretched very little beyond his little Fox at home. “Can… can you fix that?”

 

“No. We’ll need a mechanic. And this thing will probably have to be towed out of here.” Fili grimaced and thumped the bonnet with his fist. “I’ll call the rangers.”

 

When the rangers arrived, they confirmed Fili’s suspicions that the axel was cracked and therefore unsafe for driving. They said they would head into the nearest town and see about getting a mechanic.

 

Fili waved down the next safari vehicle that passed them and asked if they had an extra seat. Luckily, they did, and Kili grabbed his rucksack and climbed in.

 

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

 

“I have to stay with the car, at least until the mechanic gets here,” Fili told him. “I’m going to call my agency, and they’ll send another car for you in the morning, alright?”

 

Kili cooked some eggs on toast and ate by himself that night. The next morning, as promised, a Tampani vehicle trundled into his campsite to pick him up. It already had a group of Chinese tourists and Kili realised he’d been spoilt to have a whole car for himself. That day they saw a good amount of game, although the other tourists’ fancy cameras with their fancy accessories and foot-long lenses made him feel slightly inferior.

 

When he was dropped off at the campsite that evening, he was surprised to see Fili already preparing dinner, dressed in his usual kikoi and a tshirt. He looked a little tired.

 

“Fili! You’re back!” Kili beamed. “Thank goodness, I didn’t think I could put up with sharing a car any more – I’m quite spolit. What happened with the car?”

 

“Mechanic didn’t turn up til morning,” Fili grunted. “I had to sleep in the car.”

 

“Oh no!”

 

“It’s fine, not the first time that’s happened.” Fili seemed a bit grumpy, probably from lack of sleep, Kili thought. He patted his arm.

 

“I’ll make dinner tonight, you just chill.”

 

Fili gave him a grateful smile and flopped down into a chair while Kili busied himself on the gas stove. Unfortunately, his skills in a campsite kitchen were no match for Fili’s so he settled with putting some water on to boil for pasta.

 

He glanced over at Fili again, and was surprised at the brooding, moody expression on his face.

 

“Is… everything okay?” Kili asked, trying not to sound too worried as he upended a jar of pesto onto the pan of drained pasta.

 

“Hm?” Fili roused himself from his reverie. “Uh, not really. Manchester United lost again.”

 

Kili made a disbelieving sound that sounded like a cross between a choke and a cough. “ _Men_ ,” he muttered, plonking a bowl of spaghetti in front of each of them and tucking in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Fili's kikoi would look like and how he'd wear it:
> 
> http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fd1azn61i9hwokk.cloudfront.net%2Fproducts%2Fbig%2Fsafari-clothing-buy-safari-clothing-Punda-Milia-Kikoys.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thesafaristore.co.uk%2Fproducts%2Faccessories%2Fkikoys-and-beachwear%2FThe-Kikoy-Collection&h=380&w=294&tbnid=s-NdmGOv5PRoIM%3A&zoom=1&docid=glWKB3ZMhuf5-M&ei=F-8WVKn3PIHdas6QgYAB&tbm=isch&ved=0CFoQMyggMCA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=593&page=2&start=17&ndsp=23
> 
>  
> 
> Not a perfect photo of what I was imagining, but the best I could find!


	2. Nairobi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's last day on safari, then Fili treats him to a night out in Nairobi.

“Thompsons gazelle.”

 

“And that one?”

 

“Impala.”

 

“And on the left.”

 

“Um… a duiker?”

 

“Very good. And on the right?”

 

“… That’s a giraffe, Fili.”

 

“Ah, but what type of giraffe?”

 

“I should have known it would be a trick question,” Kili groaned. “It’s… a Masai giraffe.”

 

“Very very good,” Fili praised and Kili beamed, mock punching the air in triumph. “And seeing as you’ve passed my animal challenge, I think we deserve a treat.”

 

The car climbed out of the thicket and came to a halt at the crest of a hill. They both got out, Fili walking round to get something out of the boot while Kili stretched his legs and admired the panorama spread before them; green plains stained orange in the rapidly setting sun, little white dots that he recognised as zebra, the tall loping forms of giraffes nibbling on acacias, and in the midst of it all, a vast black mass that was a massive herd of wildebeest. He whistled.

 

“This is stunning. I can see why you’d never want to leave. I can’t believe this is the last day.”

 

Fili got up onto the roof of the car and Kili joined him. He handed him a brown glass bottle. “I think we deserve sundowners. Besides, you can’t leave without tasting Tusker. Finest beer in Kenya.”

 

Kili was too polite to admit that he wasn’t a beer person, but Fili popped the caps off them both and Kili took a tentative sip. To his delight and surprise, the mild malty flavour actually tasted good.

 

“I think it’s the best beer I’ve ever tasted,” he told Fili truthfully and Fili grinned. He bashed their bottles together.

 

“Cheers.”

 

“Cheers,” Kili echoed and they both took a long swig. It was cold from the electric coolbox it had been sitting in all day, and Kili found that with each refreshing sip, the taste was growing on him more and more.

 

“So, back to the city tomorrow,” Fili said. “Any plans?”

 

“Not really,” Kili sighed. “My flight isn’t til Monday, so I guess I’ll just chill in my hotel room for a day.”

 

“You’ve got a day in Nairobi? Why didn’t you say so?” Fili exclaimed. “There’s no way you’ll be just chilling in your hotel room.”

 

“What is there to see?” Kili asked, puzzled. He’d never thought about the city sights, having been too excited about safari to think about anything else.

 

“Leave it to me,” Fili told him, giving him a gentle nudge in the side. “And I can drop you off at the airport on Monday.”

 

“That would be great,” Kili said, grinning.

 

As it turned out, there was plenty to do in Nairobi. They got back late on Saturday evening, Kili having bidden the Masai Mara a sad goodbye. Fili dropped him off at his hotel and told him to be ready by nine the next morning.

 

“Nine?” Kili wailed.

 

“Trust me, we need to arrive early to get a good spot. It’s really worth it.”

 

As much as Kili liked camping, he enjoyed his first night on a bed for two weeks very much and woke up surprisingly invigorated, despite the hour, and was waiting outside for Fili when he pulled up in an unfamiliar red Land Rover.

 

“This is my car,” Fili explained. “Car, meet Kili. Kili, meet car.”

 

Fili drove them across town to an area called Karen, named after a famous Danish baroness who had come to Kenya to start a coffee farm, and was eventually forced to return to Denmark after her farm fell into bankruptcy. She was a fabulous storyteller and had written many books, including her most famous _Out of Africa_ based on her experiences in Kenya under the pseudonym Isaak Dinesen. Fili sounded aghast when Kili admitted he had never heard of her before.

 

“They made a really famous film based on _Out of Africa_! It stars Robert Redford and Meryl Streep!”

 

Kili shook his head guiltily and Fili tutted disapprovingly.

 

Fili had been right about the need to arrive early, as when they reached the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust there was already a crowd of tourists jostling before the gate. A little before eleven, the gate opened and everyone made their way towards a roped-off expanse of red earth with a few scrubby bushes dotted around. Kili and Fili, thanks to their early start, managed to get a good place at the front, although crowds of people continued to flock down to the clearing, many of whom had to crane their necks from behind four or five people.

 

Kili almost squealed with glee as he caught sight of around ten baby elephants, each standing little more than a metre high, trundling down towards the clearing with several green-coated keepers. A wheelbarrow full of huge bottles of milk had arrived and the keepers each grabbed one and the baby elephants immediately ran to their favourite keeper and began downing the milk greedily.

 

As an announcer explained the aims of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust and their work in rescuing and rehabilitating orphaned baby elephants and releasing them back into the wild, the babies romped around, rolling in the dust, pushing eachother over and slurping noisily from the troughs of water dotted about. They were just like human children, Kili thought as he admired them, playful and loving, and mischievous too, as one of the more greedy elephants stole the show by making off one of the milk bottles lying on the ground and appearing very sad when he found it was empty.

 

The announcer began introducing each of the babies in turn and explaining how they had come to be at the orphanage in the first place; Kili was saddened by how often it was due to human causes, poaching being an especially strong factor. Many elephants had also come to the rehabilitation centre injured having fallen into man-made wells and traps. It was clear that while the conservationists were doing as much as they could, unless people started working harder to stop encroaching on wild animals’ territory and realised the danger that ivory poaching was having on elephant population numbers, they were fighting a losing battle.

 

They ate sandwiches for lunch, then made their way to the Giraffe Centre. After his two weeks in the Mara, the sight of giraffes was no novelty to Kili, but the chance to view them this up-close was very exciting. They stood on a high wooden platform on stilts, so they were at eye-level with the giraffes, and each person was given a handful of pellets with which to feed them. Kili laughed delightedly at the feeling of the giraffe’s rough sandpaper-like tongue as it snaked from between its fuzzy lips and wound expertly around a pellet before chewing and swallowing it.

 

“Try doing it with your mouth,” Fili challenged. He put a pellet between his lips and proffered it to the giraffe. The giraffe leaned towards him, stuck out its greyish tongue, which was more than a foot long and snaffled the pellet from between Fili’s lips. “Giraffe kiss!”

 

“Gross!” Kili laughed, but he was curious. He tried to copy Fili and grimaced as a sticky, grey tongue laved his cheek, missing the pellet completely.

 

“I don’t think she likes me as much as you. Looks as if you’re the only one with a hot date tonight.”

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the various curio shops in the area; Fili was good at bargaining, helped by his knowledge of Swahili, and Kili managed to buy presents for all his family members back home.

 

“That sorts me for Christmas,” he said happily, admiring the beaded sandals and jewellery he’d bought for his mother, the knife he’d bought for his uncle Thorin, and the loud waistcoat made of colourful Masai shukka material he’d bought for his uncle Frerin. He’d also bought himself two kikois.

 

For dinner, Fili showed Kili one of his favourite restaurants. “It’s not a fancy place, but its great,” he assured him as they entered a simple looking café with black plastic furniture and vibrant orange walls. “They do these awesome spicy _masala_ chips and the best _nyama choma_ – roast meat,” he explained. “The lamb is a bit rare but oh, it just melts in your  mouth.”

 

Kili had to admit that in spite of the place’s shabby exterior and the thin layer of grease that seemed to reside on every surface, the food was some of the best he’d ever tasted.

 

“Save some room,” Fili teased as Kili put away his third beef kebab. “We’re going clubbing after this.”

 

“Clubbing?”

 

“Well, going to a bar I know. It plays music, so that’s probably as close to a club as you’ll get.”

 

They migrated across the road to a place with a sigh called ‘ZanziBar’ (“I know right?” was Fili’s reply to Kili’s groan). It was filled with a strange motley of people, from Kenyans to tourists to NGO workers enjoying their weekend. Fili ordered them each a Tusker and they grabbed a table. It was dark and the few lights that were on, apart from the ones at the bar, glowed a strange blue colour over the dancing bodies. It was warm, making the beer extra refreshing.

 

“Come on,” Fili called after their second beer. “Let’s get cocktails.”

 

Kili looked down at the drinks menu shoved into his hand.

 

“What’s a dawa?” Kili asked; he had to shout over the music, pumping some kind of Afro-pop house beat so loud Kili thought he could feel his heart vibrating in his chest.

 

“It’s a drink – got vodka, honey and lime in it,” Fili yelled back.

 

“Sounds good!” Kili shouted. The drink burned his throat but the honey and lime gave it a sweet but tart flavour.

 

“I love it!” Kili cried. “I want another one!”

 

It wasn’t long before Fili and Kili were slumped in their chairs, giggling stupidly, their table littered with bottles and empty glasses.

 

“Looks like my date ditched me,” Fili giggled, and Kili snickered.

 

“That girl’s fit,” Fili said, pointing at a woman in a brightly patterned dress taking a dignified sip of her coctail at the bar. “And she’s drinking a _dawa_. I think she’s your type.”

 

“I dunno…” Kili slurred.

 

“Go talk to her,” Fili encouraged.

 

“Mm… I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

 

“I dare you. Chicken.”

 

Kili shot him a withering look. “What are you, twelve?”

 

“So are you,” Fili retorted, giggling.

 

Kili gazed at her. “I guess she is pretty,” he admitted, getting unsteadily to his feet. He stumbled. “Or maybe that is a bad idea!”

 

Fili could barely restrain his peals of laughter as Kili stared confusedly at his feet. He looked up.

 

“Are you drunk enough to dance?”

 

“Yes,” Fili agreed heartily, pushing his chair back and standing.

 

“I’ve got an idea,” Fili told Kili in a low voice as the blue lights flashed around them and bodies bumped against their backs. “Remember those ostriches we saw a few days ago?”

 

“Mmmmmmmhmmmm,” Kili confirmed.

 

“You remember the mating dance the male one was doing?”

 

“Oh yes! You reckon that’ll work?”

 

“For sure.”

 

Kili bit his lip, trying to stifle his laughter as he flung out his arms, twirling his fingers with a flourish, then began pacing, bobbing his head and flapping his arms in an imitation of the ostrich mating dance. At least he succeeded in attracting the girl’s attention – she looked at him oddly, then slowly sidled away into a dark corner.

 

Kili and Fili stopped trying to contain themselves as they spilled out onto the pavement outside.

 

“What time is it?” Fili asked a he stumbled towards his car on the other side of the street.

 

“It’s – “ Kili squinted at the mercifully luminous hands of his watch. “… half one. What are you doing?”

 

“Going to my car?” Fili replied. He fished in his pocket for the keys, rolling slightly as he leaned against the red door.

 

“You can’t drive,” Kili giggled.

 

They flagged down a taxi and Fili somehow managed to relay the address of Kili’s hotel. After Kili persuaded Fili to stay for another drink, they bought two more bottles of beer from the hotel bar, which was about to close, and took them up to Kili’s room where they flopped onto the bed.

 

Kili pointed the remote at the television and they vegetated in front of an overdramatic soap opera, occasionally commenting on the abysmal acting and the general lameness of the show. They got the giggles again when a particularly awkward sex scene came on.

 

The show mercifully finished, to be replaced with an ancient episode of The Simpsons. Fili felt his eyelids drooping. He looked over to see Kili was already half asleep, his beer bottle tilting in his slack hands.

 

“I should go,” he mumbled.

 

“Y’cn stay here f’you wan’,” Kili garbled.

 

“No, I shouldn’t,” Fili protested, though he struggled to get the words out; Kili’s sleepiness was infectious.

 

“S’ too late t’get a taxi,” Kili pointed out. “You sh’d stay.”

 

“My boss will kill me,” Fili yawned. He got up and looked around him abstractedly. “Where are my shoes?”

 

“Th’ sofa oe’r there,” Kili gestured vaguely and Fili spotted his boots, on their sides near one of the discarded cushions. He sat down to pull his boots on, and leaned back for just a second, closing his eyes momentarily, just to gather his strength…

 

… until he was jerked rudely awake as a loud sound like a revving engine sounded. He opened his eyes groggily and heard Kili groan, slapping his hand on the bedside table and the clatter of plastic as he turned off his alarm and dropped his phone onto the floor. There was a few moments of silence, then Fili roused himself, shifting to sit up from where he had been sprawled on the sofa and stretched, hearing the joints of his back popping.

 

“Shit,” he croaked. “Why am I here?”

 

“I told you you could stay last night,” Kili told him, eyes screwed shut against the light, the white curtains doing nothing to lessen the glare of the morning sun. 

 

“Crap,” Fili groaned. “That wasn’t professional.”

 

“Technically you’re not working anymore.”

 

“True,” Fili yawned. He glanced at his watch. “What time did you say your flight was?”

 

“Twelve.”

 

“We should get going, we need to leave here in an hour and a half.” Fili paused. “Where’s my car?”

 

“Still outside ZanziBar where you left it?” Kili guessed. “We got a taxi back.”

 

Fili swore. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

 

Fili didn’t have enough money to pay for a taxi to take him back, so he walked, the exercise proving helpful for clearing his head despite the dust and smog already thick in the air of the waking city. Luckily he found the red Land Rover unscathed and had time to change out of his manky leather jacket, shirt and jeans into a fresh tshirt and trousers that he found in a bag at the back before he drove back to the hotel. Kili was already waiting outside, fully packed and freshly showered, but still wearing a sleepy expression.

 

“I couldn’t face breakfast,” he told Fili as he loaded his suitcase and climbed into the front seat. “Don’t have any aspirin do you?”

 

“Glove compartment,” he replied and Kili made a sound that could be interpreted as: “My hero.”

 

“Flying with a hangover, not the best idea,” Fili said and Kili barked a rueful laugh.

 

In spite of the inevitable Nairobi traffic, they arrived at the airport in good time. Fili queued up with Kili as he dropped off his hold luggage and got his boarding pass and walked with him until the security desk leading to the gates. They stopped and looked at eachother for a while, smiling.

 

“So long,” Fili began and they both moved in for a hug at the same time.

 

“Thank you so much,” Kili said sincerely. “I’ve had the best time – the _best_.”

 

“You’re absolutely welcome. Have a safe journey – _safari njema_.”

 

Kili laughed. “I hope so. Although I feel sorry for whoever’s going to sit next to me.”

 

“Charming,” Fili chuckled, wrinkling his nose. He gave Kili a little push. “Go! Or you’ll miss it and have to spend another fortnight here.”

 

“What a shame that would be!” Kili grinned. He gave Fili a wave, reshouldered his rucksack and handed his passport to the woman behind the security desk. By the time he turned around to wave one last time, Fili had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust and the Giraffe Centre are both real places; they do wonderful work in conservation.
> 
> Traditional Masai material is called shukka and is similar to tartan but more loud and brightly coloured; this is what i imagined Kili bought for Frerin: 
> 
> http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fedrouganda.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F04%2Fdsc_4748.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fedrouganda.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F04%2F12%2Fvest-tie%2F&h=4288&w=2848&tbnid=aLhdZNr3KFHGeM%3A&zoom=1&docid=fiX6MR31kDoI2M&itg=1&ei=bL0iVOqbGdWUsQSNmoHQDQ&tbm=isch&ved=0CB8QMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=2177&page=1&start=0&ndsp=20


	3. Facebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili begins planning his second trip to Kenya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you have probably started to notice, I'm naming my chapters after places, although this one is called Facebook because when they are apart that is how they communicate.. and some later chapters I imagine won't be named after places

Fili had a week of respite before he had to go back to work. He went to stay with a family friend in Nairobi, deciding he couldn’t be bothered to go all the way up to Naivasha. He cursed when he realised he’d lost his phone charger and the battery on his cell was long dead.

 

By the time he managed to buy another one, almost half of his leave was over. He saw he had one new message and prayed it wasn’t work: to his relief, it wasn’t but he didn’t recognise the number. He opened the text.

 

_I know I said it before but thanks so much for such an awesome time! You were absolutely amazing and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. Hope to see you soon! Kili xx_

 

Fili smiled. The text was dated three days ago, the day Kili’s flight had left and the day Fili’s phone had breathed its last breath. He saved Kili’s number and quickly tapped a reply.

 

_You’re welcome, it was a pleasure :)_ _see you around X_

 

He was startled when less than a minute later his phone made the strange clicking noise that sounded like beetles that Fili had set as his text tone, heralding a reply, then clicked again. He looked down at the screen to see two new messages.

 

The first read: _GOOD GOD, HE’S ALIVE!!!!_

 

The second read: _Get a smartphone so we can WhatsApp_

 

Fili snorted at Kili’s audacity.

 

_No. Stop texting me it’ll be costing you a fortune. I don’t recall ever giving you my number anyway_

 

Click click. _It’s on the Tampani website, dumbass._

 

And again: _Can I facebook you then? Do you even have facebook?_

 

Tap tap. _Yes and yes. STOP TEXTING ME_

 

Click click. _I promise I’ll stop texting you if you tell me your facebook name._

 

Fili resigned. _Philip Baggins_ he sent.

 

Click click. _I lied. Xx_

 

Fili opened his facebook twenty minutes later and was wholly unsurprised to see he had one friend request pending: one Kirian Durin. He clicked Accept and, feeling almost as if Kili was racing him to it from the other side of the world, sent him a message.

 

_Hey. Sorry I didn’t reply to your text earlier btw, I only just saw it._

 

**_That’s ok, I assumed you’d be out somewhere exciting that didn’t have signal. Where were you?_ **

 

_Actually, I was nowhere. My phone ran out of battery and I needed to buy a new charger._

 

**_A charger for the pre-2000 Nokias? No wonder it took you so long, you must have had to track down the only shop in the entire world that still sells chargers for those things._ **

 

_…. something like that, yes. How’s life?_

 

 **_Good, good… looking through my photos, makes me want to come back now_ ** **_J thinking I’ll edit them and then send them to a few people I know._ **

 

_Great!_

 

 ......

 

**_I’m thinking, I really want to come back out sometime._ **

 

_Oh? Tell me more._

 

**_Well, actually, I was wondering if you could – when’s the best time to come back?_ **

 

_That’s a tough question. What are you thinking of?_

 

**_I’d like to do some more safari for sure, but I’d also like to see other stuff, like maybe the coast or something. Do you have any ideas? (sorry, I’m pretty hopeless – truth be told, my mum practically planned my entire trip last time :p)._ **

 

_January’s really nice. That’s the summer here, so it’s gorgeous and sunny and hot, that’s the best time to see the coast._

 

**_And I didn’t see Lake Naivasha last time, I want to go there_ **

 

_Lol. Are you hinting at an invite to my house?_

 

**_… maybe …_ **

 

_Consider yourself invited then._

 

**_YAYY!!!_ **

 

...... 

 

**_I want to stay for longer than I stayed in the summer._ **

 

_How long?_

 

**_… is four weeks too much to encroach on your time and generosity?_ **

 

_Just don’t make me sleep in your hotel room after we’ve been drinking again._

 

**_Hey that was an act of compassion. You should be grateful!_ **

 

 _I’ll be grateful when I know I won’t lose my job for that!_ J

 _But four weeks sounds fine_.

 _I’ve actually got time off then_.

_(Or if I don’t, I can arrange it)_

**_You don’t have to do that!_ **

_Stop being so British and accept that you’d love it._

_I won’t charge…_

**_(maybe) but I’ll be fine!_ **

_Please. You’d be lost in this country without me._

**_… perhaps. Thank you for rearranging your life around my second holiday._ **

_You’re welcome_

_......_

Kili beamed. He stared at his computer screen for a few seconds, grinning back at his reflection. He had just come off Skype with Fili, finalising their itinerary and arranging the last minute details. As soon as he had hung up he had gone online and booked his flight. It was official – he was going back!

He opened facebook and somehow wound up on Fili’s profile page. His profile picture was of him and a few other lads, all in formal wear. Kili wanted to ask Fili where it was, but he didn’t exactly want Fili to know he was stalking him.

Kili felt a pang of jealousy and irritation as he noticed the most recent post on Fili’s wall. It was from someone called Isabella Batcheter: ‘Thank you SO MUCH Phil for the AWESOME safari – you made it so special :))) will definitely be back, hoping to see you then! :))) Xxxx :x ” _._ He snorted, making a mental note that some girls used way too many emoticons than were really necessary. _I bet she won’t be back_ , he thought with satisfaction. “But I will beeee,” he sang under his breath.

He started casually flicking through Fili’s photos – there were a few of him with clients, Kili recognised the dark green Tampani Travels vehicle. Some were posed shots, families arranged in a line with Fili standing with them. He saw a picture of Fili and Isabella Batcheter: a loathsome-looking girl he thought, with lots of mascara and a pink, glossy smile, wearing hotpants that Kili judged thoroughly inappropriate for safari. Her arm was wound around his waist while his rested politely around her shoulders; _Haha, he’s gay!_ Kili thought vindictively, then felt bad for hating this girl he’d never even met.

He came across some more photos of Fili in a suit, and Kili decided it must be a wedding, his thoughts confirmed when he came across a group photo featuring a woman in a big white dress and a man in a tux next to her in the centre.

Kili almost guffawed aloud when he came across a photo of a young boy with a shock of floppy hair on his head so blonde it was almost white, naked except for the fact he was caked in red mud, grinning gleefully next to a large dog. Kili glanced down and saw it was from an album called ‘Old Times’ by someone called Tanya Lewis. The caption read: ‘My little nipper, aged five’.

The next photo showed Fili and a girl, both around seven years old. The girl must have been his sister, but her ginger hair came as a surprise to Kili; he had always pictured Fili’s twin to be a female replica of him. Her fiery hair, cut into a very straight bob, clashed with her bright red face as she screamed at the boy pulling her hair, trying to push him over. They appeared to be fighting over a football. Kili read the caption: ‘Some things never change…’ The next photo followed in a similar vein, a blond and a redhead apparently arguing over a huge box under a Christmas tree (‘Aren’t the holidays peaceful…’).

More photos of Fili, ranging from a sleeping baby to a fourteen-year-old sitting in the driver’s seat of a large four-by-four. In all the photos of he and his sister, they appeared to be either fighting or deliberately ignoring eachother. Kili wanted to be subtle, not liking even the most hilarious and embarrassing photos, but when he came across one of Fili with dreadlocks, he couldn’t stop himself.

**_You had dreds?!?_** he sent, alongside a link for the photo.

He wasn’t expecting such a rapid reply, but Fili wrote back almost right away.

_How did you find those??? Having a stalk were we?_

**_Like you didn’t stalk me_ **

**_….right?_ **

_Lol I can’t deny it… And yes I did, I was fifteen and remind me to talk to my mother about taking that whole album down!!!_

**_Why did you get rid of them?_ **

_I only got them to piss off my dad at first. Then they grew on me, but I got rid of them when I was twenty and got a job._

**_That’s a shame._ **

_That’s growing up._

_Can’t wait for you to come over in January :)_ _  
_

Kili said his goodbyes and went downstairs to spill his excitement to his mother.

 


	4. Naivasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili returns! And lots of introductions as Fili introduces him to the family… though something Kili learns about Fili comes as a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments!! you have no idea how ridiculously happy it makes me to share this with you and to hear your feedback. YIZ ARE ALL GREAT <3 <3 <3 !!!
> 
> And now for a nice long chapter... I tried to restrain myself, I really did. But I was on a bit of a roll, so sorry if this chapter rambles a bit!
> 
> Next chapter should be up in a few days :)

 

“Kili! Over here!”

 

Kili’s face split into a grin as he spotted the long-haired blond waving at him. “Fili! You didn’t have to pick me up, I was going to get a taxi!”

 

“Nonsense.” Fili’s grin mimicked his as Kili grabbed him in a huge hug. “It’s good to see you.”

 

“You too.” Kili couldn’t contain his smile. He looked around, taking in the familiar sight and gazing fondly at the red Land Rover he could see in the car park. “It’s great to be back!”

 

“Did you have a good Christmas?” Kili asked cheerfully when they were buckled in, Kili’s bags slung into the boot.

 

“Yeah, it was alright. I was working actually, it’s quite something having a picnic for Christmas lunch!”

 

“Oh you poor thing!”

 

“Well the alternative was spending it with my dad so I think I won there…”

 

“Why didn’t you come to England?”

 

“You sound like my mother. She wanted me to go, but I had work! And plus, I hate the cold. How were your holidays?”

 

“A hot Christmas – I can’t imagine that,” Kili mused, sounding baffled. “It was great – they all loved their presents. And we even had snow this year!”

 

Fili shuddered. “A white Christmas would literally be my nightmare.”

 

Kili laughed. “And here I was, thinking you were Bear Grylls. Some big man you are, defeated by a few snowflakes.”

 

The drive from Nairobi to Naivasha took three hours, but Kili barely noticed as he and Fili had several months worth of news and to catch up on. He swelled with happiness as he stared out of the window at the lush green countryside, emerald trees and blue skies juxtaposing against the rust coloured earth and making all the colours seem brighter. He’d missed it all, even the lumpy pothole-ridden roads.

 

They began passing vast numbers of huge greenhouses. Kili stared at them, wide-eyed.

 

“I told you my uncle Bilbo manages one of these farms. There are lots of them out here. More than three quarters of the world’s roses are grown in Naivasha.”

 

“ _Really_?”

 

Eventually they turned down a different road, and turned into a green gate. A guard sitting on a plastic garden chair threw his newspaper aside and surveyed the car.

 

“ _Jambo_ Harrison!” Fili called, and the man’s face broke into a grin.

 

“ _Jambo_ Fili, _habari_!”

 

“ _Mzuri sana_!” Fili grasped hands with Harrison, and quickly introduced Kili. They continued down a long drive, flanked with wild-looking hedge, until the narrow alameda gave way to a wide track and an open garden, in the middle of which was situated a house. It was beautiful, with a wide veranda and whitewashed walls and a thatched roof. Further down the garden, separated by a few bushes and trees to give a little privacy, was a guesthouse, which looked just like the main house in miniature. Miniature, of course, being relative – the guesthouse still looked as if it could house a family of four easily.

 

As the car pulled up, three dogs of various shapes and sizes materialised, flocking around the car and barking madly.

 

“You’ll have to excuse them. They’re not very well trained but none of them bite.” Fili got out of the car and they gathered around him, wagging their tails wildly. Kili got out, staring at the house

 

“This is gorgeous Fili!” He looked out across the garden, which stretched all the way to the lake’s edge. An electric fence lay between the water and the garden.

 

“The fence is there to stop the hippos,” Fili told him, noticing where his eyes wandered.

 

“Hippos,” Kili breathed with awe.

 

One of the dogs, an Alsatian by the looks of him, came up to Kili and he reached out and stroked its back gingerly. The dog turned its head, as if following Kili’s movements with his nose. Kili quickly whipped his hand back and followed Fili towards the guesthouse.

 

A man with curly hair the colour of milky tea was sitting on the veranda. When his eyes fell on Fili, his face lit up.

 

“Fili, my boy, you’re back! I thought I heard someone arrive.”

 

“Hi Uncle Bilbo,” Fili grinned, accepting the man’s enthusiastic hug. “Didn’t I tell you I was coming?”

 

“You might have mentioned it, but you never gave me a date. You never tell me anything anymore!” Bilbo said reprovingly, regarding him with baleful eyes. His glance shifted to Kili.

 

“Kili, just a friend of Fili’s,” he introduced himself, holding out a hand which Bilbo shook with gusto.

 

“Must be a close friend if he allows you to call him Fili!” he chortled. “Very nice to meet you and _karibu_.”

 

“ _Asante_!” Kili replied, happy to be able to use a few of the Swahili words he had picked up last time.

 

“He’s the friend I told you about,” Fili supplied. “You know? He came last summer?”

 

“Ah yes, yes, of course! I was about to get a tray out, I believe it is time for tea.”

 

Bilbo went inside, gesturing to the others to follow him. The house was charming inside, with lots of benches and armchairs and puffy inviting-looking cushions almost everywhere.

 

Bilbo led them to the surprisingly spacious kitchen, where he switched on the kettle and began arranging a teapot and three mugs on a tray. “Oh, lovely, Dina has baked an almond cake – we shall have some of that with our tea I should think! Do you take sugar either of you? And I presume you both take milk?”

 

“Mister Bilbo!” a woman’s stern voice suddenly rang out and Bilbo jumped, turning guiltily to the speaker, who stood in the kitchen doorway looking extremely displeased. “I _told_ you, next time you need tea, you leave it to me!”

 

“I’m sorry Dina!” Bilbo sighed. “It’s just that I _can_ do it myself you know!”

 

Fili laughed quietly. “Bilbo’s only been here a few years,” he told Kili. “He’s not used to having staff yet, and Dina’s been with us for so long she’s family.”

 

Dina’s thunderous face turned to sunshine when she laid eyes on Fili. “Ah, it’s been too long!”  


“ _Habari_ Dina,” Fili smiled as he was given a big hug. “It’s nice to be home. This is Kili,” he gestured at Kili who smiled and gave a little wave. “This is Dina. Also known as my second mother.”

 

They had tea on the veranda, overlooking the lake. They were surrounded by birdsong, many of the calls completely alien to Kili’s ears. He drank them in as Fili caught up with his uncle. The three dogs from earlier had settled around them. The smallest, which Kili guessed was at least part Jack Russell, was eyeing Kili with beady eyes. Its ears pricked up hopefully as Kili picked up another piece of cake. He sneakily dropped a few crumbs onto the floor which the dog immediately pounced on.

 

“Where’s Frodo?” Fili asked his uncle.

 

“At a birthday party at the Oswalds. Nancy said she’d drop him off sometime this afternoon.”

 

“Frodo is Bilbo’s son,” Fili explained. “Bilbo adopted him a few years after he came out here.”

 

Bilbo’s face had perked up at the mention of his son. “He’ll be so pleased you’re back, Fili. And even happier that you’ve brought a friend.”

 

Bilbo suddenly scowled at the Jack Russell, now sitting expectantly at Kili’s feet. “Toto, don’t beg! It’s rude!”

 

……

 

After tea, Fili gave Kili a quick tour of the main house where Fili said his dad lived.

 

“Though he’s hardly ever here anymore, thank God. It stays locked up for more than half of the year, he’s too much of a selfish prick to let Bilbo live here instead of in the guest-house.”

 

The rooms were wide and airy, spacious if a little dusty. There was much less furniture and many of the white walls were uncovered by shelves or paintings. It was clear that the house was much less lived-in than Bilbo’s beloved cottage.

 

“And this is my room.” Fili pushed open the door and they both stepped inside.

 

The room, like the others, was large, and had a huge window over the desk, which overlooked the blue lake. Kili admired the view for a minute before turning to the walls, which were covered in photographs.

 

The photos were very impressive. They all showed snapshots of life in Kenya, a few of the coast, a few of the city and lots, _lots_ , of animals. Kili gaped.

 

“Fili – did – did you take these?”

 

Fili glanced up sheepishly. “Uh, yeah.”

 

Kili stared, open-mouthed. “You’re _good_ ,” he managed at last.

 

“Thanks...” Fili, unused to such blatant praise, scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

Kili was still admiring the photos. “Much better than me,” he said finally.

 

“Don’t say that Kili.”

 

“It’s true! Look at these! This is real wildlife photography, I mean look at that!” Kili stabbed his finger at a photo of a lion taking down a wildebeest. “That’s incredible!”

 

“It comes with years of experience in the bush,” Fili mumbled. “It’s luck, a lot of it.”

 

“They’re stunning! Haven’t you tried to get these published anywhere?”

 

Fili looked even more embarrassed. “Yeah… a few. I sent some to a couple of wildlife magazines.. and a few hotels asked if they could use them in their brochures. But it’s no big deal, really, I’ve never earned proper money off them...”

 

“Fili, I’m serious. You should consider doing this as your profession.” Fili made a noise of protest but Kili went on before he could interrupt.  “ _Really_. I’ve seen the standard they expect, and this meets them by a mile – exceeds them in fact!”

 

He bit his lip, still staring at the photos. “They’re better than mine,” he admitted. “I sent them everywhere, to everyone I could think of – no one got back to me.”

 

Fili hated the direction the conversation had taken. There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

 

“But these could earn you a living for sure,” Kili finished finally.

 

“I’ve already got a job.”

 

“But wouldn’t you rather do this?”

 

“Sometimes,” Fili admitted quietly. “I do like my job but… this is what I love to do.”

 

Kili didn’t say anything. He looked brooding, still staring morosely at the photos. He had just assumed he’d been unlucky, that it was bound to be hard cracking into this business – but really, who had he been kidding? He didn’t have the experience, or the eye, just a biology degree and a passion for animals that he supposed did do him credit. His photos were nice, yet nothing special. But Fili was clearly a natural.

 

He managed a smile and looked at Fili, who was watching him with guarded, regretful eyes. “You’ll have to show me how you work sometime. I’d love to watch how you do it.”

 

“Kili – “

 

“Don’t worry about me,” Kili bluffed, waving his hands to conceal the sadness in his heart. “Really.”

 

Despite the part of him that seemed to have ripped itself out of his chest and been stamped on the floor, despite the sinking sensation that accompanied a shattered dream that had filled the pit of his stomach with lead, he pulled himself together and perked up.

 

“So, any chance of seeing a hippo tonight? Apart from your fat ass, of course.”

 

……

 

They ate dinner with Bilbo at the guest house, though Fili suggested they all come to eat at the big house – “Honestly, most of the rooms in there aren’t doing anything but collecting dust!”. As they made their way to the house, a small figure charged towards them across the lawn.

 

“FEEEEEEEEE!”

 

“Easy, Frodo!” Fili caught the child and swung him in the air.

 

Frodo’s coffee coloured skin gleamed in the dappled orange light from the sunset as he took in Kili.

 

“This is my friend, Kili,” Fili introduced. The child stared at him with deep dark eyes sparkling with mischief. He reached out a pudgy hand before seeming to think better of it and burying his face into Fili’s shoulder with a coy giggle.

 

“You’ve made him shy,” Fili noted with astonishment. “That’s got to be a first.”

 

Bilbo beamed as they entered the house. Kili, ravenous as always, could have moaned at the spread in front of them.

 

“This looks _amazing_!”

 

Bilbo smiled modestly as Fili lowered Frodo into the high-chair at one end of the table. “It was a joint effort. Dina never lets me do anything by myself anymore!”

 

“Fee,” Frodo whispered, tugging at the hem of Fili’s tshirt, “come see puppies.”

 

“Puppies?” Fili looked questioningly at Bilbo.

 

“Oh how could I forget!” Bilbo exclaimed, batting himself lightly on the forehead. “Mamita had puppies!”

 

“Mamita had _puppies_?” Fili repeated, agog.

 

“I told you it’s been too long since you’ve been home! Yes, and she had them in the middle of the night, it was not fun I tell you! They’re beautiful things, even if they are mongrels, ever so sweet.”

 

“Fee come see puppies!” Frodo crowed, delighted that Fili finally seemed to have cottoned on.

 

“Very well,” Bilbo replied, hoisting his son out of the high-chair and rolling his eyes. “We’ll go see them, just quickly, or dinner will get cold!”

 

They walked down the hall and Bilbo opened the door to a small back room. A beautiful golden retriever, who Kili guessed was Mamita, looked up from her cushy bed in the corner and thumped her tail on the floor hopefully. Five chubby little puppies, which looked about eight weeks old, romped around her in various shades of brown and gold.

 

“You’ve done well, girl!” Fili praised, rubbing Mamita’s head.

 

The puppies were milling around their feet instantly, wagging their tails and barking squeakily. Fili sat down in their midst and they crowded onto his lap. A smile immediately cracked over his face as he fussed and stroked each of them.

 

“They’re three boys and two girls. I’m still looking for homes for them,” Bilbo told him. “I mean, I’d love to keep one but we can’t keep all of them, we’ve already got too many dogs.”

 

Kili felt pressure on his foot and looked down to see one of the puppies was pressing its two front paws on his shoe, its little tail waving as it strained up to look at him. He squatted down and started petting it.

 

“What are they?” he asked. “Breed, I mean.”

 

Bilbo pulled an annoyed face. “Well. This is the question. We’re not sure who the father is, and it wasn’t one of ours, that’s for sure, so I reckon its that dratted mongrel from next door! Completely ruins their breeding, and means I can’t sell them so I have to give them away.”

 

“Aw, don’t be mean to them Bilbo,” Fili whined. He lifted one of the tiny dogs, pulling a wide-eyed pouty face to rival the expression on the puppy’s own face. “ _They’re so cute_!”

 

Kili wanted to laugh at how the sight of puppies melted Fili into a garbling, squealing mess.

 

“If you like them so much, you can come down and feed them every few hours!” Bilbo huffed. “They’re hard work, puppies! And now – I think it’s really time for dinner. It’s not meant to be served cold, you know.”

 

Kili, whose stomach had been rumbling quietly ever since they left the dining room, agreed heartily. He piled his plate high, and ate seconds of everything: roast carrots, sumptuously spiced chicken, a gorgeous aromatic rice dish, and _sukuma_ , a local vegetable similar to kale. He chewed it carefully, and decided he loved it; it kept a slight crunch, unlike European spinach which went soft and soggy as soon as it was cooked.

 

“Admiring the artwork are you?” Bilbo beamed, noticing Kili’s eyes wandering to the canvases lining the wall over dessert, consisting of home-made chocolate mousse with fresh cream. “Those paintings were done by Tory – Tauriel, Fili’s told you about his twin hasn’t he?”

 

Fili grunted in assent.

 

“She’s just graduated, combined honours in dance and fine art – and I assume you’ve seen Fili’s photos too?”  


“Yes,” Kili said quickly. “They’re great. He’s got such a talent.”

 

“Such wonderful artists in this family,” Bilbo said fondly. “I wish you’d let me hang up some of your photos, Fili.”

 

Fili merely snorted.

 

“You better bring your camera when we go to Tsavo,” Kili told him in a warning tone as they walked back to the big house.

 

Fili chuckled awkwardly. “Alright.”

 

He looked at Kili sideways, relieved. He knew it must have been a blow for Kili to realise his dreams of becoming a wildlife photographer had been effectively ground into the dirt under reality’s cruel boot, but was glad to see he wasn’t brooding on it or bitter.

 

“Now just to think of my next big career idea,” Kili continued brightly. Thankfully, Kili’s constantly sunny disposition meant he could never be down for long.

 

……

 

The next morning, Kili was bugging Fili about giving him a tour of the rose farm. Fili led him over to the covered area where he had parked the car the day before. There was a generator there and also a large shape covered by a tarpaulin. Fili tore it off, revealing two dirt-bikes.

 

“Why am I not surprised?” Kili muttered.

 

“Hello, my beauties,” Fili crooned at them. He gestured. “That one’s Tory’s. We got them when we turned sixteen.” He slung a leg over the bike. “Hop on.”

 

Kili made a mental note to never tell his mother how readily he jumped on a dirt bike, skin fully exposed in his tshirt and shorts, and without a helmet or even shoes. His heart was thrumming with excitement as he wrapped his arms around Fili and Fili launched the bike forward.

 

They flew down a red dirt path, mottled with stones and holes, leafy green plants stretching on around them.

 

“These are coffee plants,” Fili told Kili. “The berries are green at first, then they go red when they’re ripe.”

 

He pulled the bike over and plucked a few berries off for Kili to see. Kili rubbed one until the scarlet skin tore, revealing two beige beans inside.

 

“You wash the beans and leave them to dry in the sun. Then they’re roasted, ground and sent off to Europe and America and other places.” Fili glanced around, frowning. “Not one of Dad’s best ideas to be honest.”

 

“Why not?” Kili asked.

 

“The crop’s not doing very well – the altitude’s too low to grow coffee here. But Dad was convinced it would make us money.” Fili shook his head. “We haven’t made profit from the coffee in years. Soon we’ll have to just tear all these plants out and start again with something else. Hold on!”

 

They took off again.

 

Kili was fascinated with everything Fili told him about coffee and roses. The fields of failing coffee eventually morphed into gargantuan greenhouses, white domes stretching on as far as the eye could see. Fili parked the bike again and they walked around, Fili pointing out all the different types of roses and explaining the different pesticides and fertilizers they used.

 

“We manufacture our own compost to use as a fertilizer. The grossest one is the one made from worms. It’s called vermicompost and we make it by plonking a bunch of worms in a bunch of trays of organic matter. The fertilizer is the stuff that’s left after they’ve processed it – in other words, it’s worm shit.”

 

“Can I see it?” Kili asked excitedly.

 

Fili shot him a strange look, then led him over to another greenhouse, slightly smaller and grey, not white like the rose tents.

 

“Hold your breath,” he muttered as they entered. A stench of rotting and a weird, earthy smell hit Kili’s nostrils.

 

“The normal compost is over there,” Fili said, voice muffled by his tshirt which was held over his mouth and nose, pointing towards several large pits in the ground where flies buzzed and old fruit skins and leaves could be recognized amongst the mulch. “Those are the worm trays.”

 

Kili went over to them and stared excitedly. Creepy crawlies had never bothered him and nor did the exceedingly, well, _natural_ smell. His mother used to despair at him whenever he came home from school, hair and nails in a state, having more often than not taken a detour through the local park and digging in the ground till he found all variety of bugs, which he kept in grass-filled jars with holes poked in their lids. He’d even had an ant farm (a gift from uncle Frerin) which flourished until he accidentally knocked it off his windowsill and it smashed on the floor; his mother, after declaring an infestation and dousing the entire house in anti-ant powder, vowed never again and decided a dog was a more suitable pet. Kili was just sad that all his little ants had died; they had never meant to do anything wrong.

 

He grinned over at Fili, who was regarding his surroundings with mild disgust.

 

“Smell bothering you?”

 

“I don’t mind worms in the wild, but in here they’re just gross.”

 

Kili hummed, sinking his fingers into the tray. The soil was warm and wet and squishy. He could feel movement around him, the sliding of many tiny red worms as they slithered away from his intrusion.

 

“The weirdest bit is that we sell this shit. See?” Fili grabbed a plastic jar filled with dark brown liquid. “ ‘Erebor Farm Organic Vermicompost Fertilizer, one litre.’ We drain it off the worms and ship it.” Fili made another face. “Let’s go, can we? I’m at risk of suffocating in here.”

 

Kili brushed the dirt off his fingers and followed Fili back into the sunshine.

 

“Who’s that?” Kili asked, looking at a man standing outside one of the greenhouses, crouching over something he held in his hand.

 

“That’s Biff. He was one of Dad’s smarter business ideas. He grows snowdrops.”

 

“Snowdrops?” Kili frowned. “Aren’t they an English flower?”

 

“Yes, but almost anything you grow in England can grow ten times better out here with the sunshine and the heat. Biff’s, well… a bit of a fanatic. He’s grows very rare species of snowdrop and ships the bulbs back to the UK.”

 

Kili looked a bit confused; he’d never thought of snowdrop as exotic or exciting in any way. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would dedicate their life to rare species of them. Fili caught his expression. “Yeah, none of the rest of us really get his passion either. All we know is that last year he managed to sell a single bulb of an especially rare species for over £1500, so we’re not complaining.”

 

“Over £1500?!” Kili repeated, astounded.

 

“As I said, one of Dad’s smarter business ideas. Although we’re not quite sure if he’s um… _fully there_ ,” Fili emphasised the last two words, tapping his head. “He’s from South Africa and he only speaks Afrikaans. He had a car accident about ten years ago and seems to be unable to pick up English again, though he speaks Swahili quite well now. _Jambo Biff_!”

 

Biff looked up, his wild salt-and-pepper hair quivering as he nodded quickly at Fili, shouted some kind of greeting back at him, then scuttled back into the greenhouse.

 

“He’s a nice enough guy anyway.”

 

……

 

Their week at Naivasha was highly enjoyable. They dined with Bilbo every night and babysat Frodo the one night they didn’t, when Bilbo was invited to a dinner party. Frodo eventually grew out of his shyness around Kili and was soon happy to crawl into his lap while they watched Cartoon Network and refused to sleep before each of them had read him a bedtime story.

 

“ _Lala salama_ , Frodo,” Fili whispered, ruffling his young cousin’s hair.

 

“What does that mean?” Kili whispered.

 

“Good night.”

 

They spent their days exploring the farm, playing with Frodo when he came home from school and taking walks along the lake in search of hippos in the water. Kili could hardly tell the difference between them and the lumps of floating debris on the lake at first, but he was getting better at recognising them, mainly by the snorts they made and the way they twitched their disproportionately small ears; floating plants didn’t twitch like _that._

 

“They're the most dangerous animal in Africa, you know,” Fili provided as they watched a group of them a few metres away from the shore, bobbing their heads as they rose and fell above and below the surface, staying underwater for whole minutes at a time. “They kill more people per year than any other animal.”

 

Kili was shocked. “How come?”

 

“They don’t chase you. When they’re in the water and you’re on the land, you’re safe. The water’s their safe zone. But they come onto the land to graze, and if you accidentally get between them and the water, they feel threatened. They’ll charge back into the water, but if you’re in their way they’ll just run over you.”

 

One of the hippos they were surveying yawned at that moment, exposing his foot-long, deadly looking tusks. Kili flinched.

 

“I wouldn’t want to get in the way of them.”

 

Kili made sure to give any hippos they saw a wide berth after that.

 

Fili tried to teach Kili how to ride Tory’s motorbike, but after a few too many scrapes and bruises and a broken wrist which turned out mercifully to be a false alarm, they settled for Kili clinging onto Fili’s back as they rocketed down the packed-earth tracks, ignoring Bilbo’s shrill calls to “Be _careful_!”

 

Naturally, the puppies remained the centre of attention.

 

“I can’t believe we have to leave you behind,” Fili cried mournfully, sitting on one of the wicker veranda chairs, his arms and lap full of miniature dog. It was their last day, and they were taking afternoon tea, as was a daily ritual at four PM in Bilbo’s cottage.

 

Fili’s phone broke into a loud chorus of ‘I Shot the Sherriff,’ at which one of the dogs snoozing on his knee jolted awake; it glared at him accusingly as he scrabbled hastily in his pocket.

 

“Hello?”

 

“ _Hello Philip._ ”

 

“Oh. It’s you.”

 

“ _Nice to hear from you too, brother dear_.”

 

“How are you?”

 

“ _Fine. Just landed in Malindi. I’m waiting for a cab. You’ll be here in a week right?_ ”

 

“Yeah, we’re leaving Bilbo’s tomorrow.”

 

One of the dogs barked, as if demanding Fili’s attention.

 

“ _Who’s that? Is it Toto?_ ”

 

“No, it’s one of Mamita’s puppies.”

 

Kili heard the faint, buzzing voice almost break into hysterics. “ _Oh my GOD Mamita had puppies?! Have they all been sold?”_

 

“No, I don’t think so.”

 

“ _You’d better bring me one.”_

 

“Tory, they’re not exactly mine to give,” Fili told her exasperatedly. “They’re uncle Bilbo’s dogs.”

 

“ _And how is our darling uncle?”_

 

“Fine.”

 

“ _And Frodo_?”

 

“Also well.”

 

“ _Good, good. I need you to pick up some stuff when you’re on your way over. The house is filthy but the hoover’s broken_.”

 

“Why don’t you call someone to fix it?”

 

Fili listened to Tauriel’s excuse, looking unimpressed. “Fine, I’ll bring some tools and fix it while I’m down.”

 

“ _Good. And also bring…_ ”

 

Fili hung up the phone a while later and rolled his eyes. “Sisters. And you said you wanted siblings.”

 

Kili was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rubbing Mamita’s stomach as she sprawled next to him. Bilbo was staring thoughtfully at Fili. Suddenly he smiled.

 

“Pick one.”

 

“What?”

 

“Pick a puppy. And then pick one for Tory too. They’ll be my presents for you both.”

 

“Aw Bilbo, you don’t have to do that!” Fili exclaimed.

 

“I insist!” Bilbo declared. “They’re gorgeous things and I can’t bear to think of any of them not going to good homes, or even going anywhere I can’t see them again! Please, pick one. Which one’s your favourite?”

 

“I can’t possibly choose,” Fili groaned. He crouched down and was immediately attacked by eager tongues and pushy wet noses.

 

“Well, I’ll make things easier for you.” Bilbo lifted a little flailing dog and appraised it. “Aren’t you sweet. You’ll do nicely. And you –“ he picked up another – “can be for Tory. There we go, a girl and a boy. You and Tory can fight it out between you as to who gets which.”

 

“Bilbo,” Fili grinned, accepting the puppy thrust into his arms. “You’re too kind.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” Bilbo beamed. “Now! I believe it’s time for dinner. You’ll want an early night, you’ve a long day driving tomorrow.”

 

….

 

Their last night at Bilbo’s was thoroughly fun. They’d been shopping earlier to buy the supplies and food they’d need for their week at Tsavo, and had picked up a bottle of Pimms as a gift to Bilbo, as Fili had said it was his favourite. Bilbo, who after all hadn’t abandoned all his British ways, was delighted, and they sipped glasses of the summery cocktail on the porch as they watched the sun go down and Frodo threw balls for Toto on the lawn, laughing with glee every time Toto brought it back.

 

Over a dinner of crayfish stew and couscous, Bilbo and Kili swapped stories about England; it transpired that Bilbo had lived in Devon, not far from where Kili’s mother’s house was, and they even had several acquaintances in common.

 

“Oh, I do miss England sometimes,” Bilbo reminisced, taking another sip of Pimms. “Our parents lived out here, but I went to England for university and after that I hardly ever came back; until a few years ago, that is, when I decided I needed a change of scenery and a bit of an adventure and came back here! It’s in my blood I suppose; I would always have always come back to Kenya eventually.”

 

“And thank God you did,” Fili remarked. “I’m not sure whose funeral it would be if you hadn’t been here to keep the peace during my teenage years.”

 

Bilbo sighed. “I agree Randy can be a bit… difficult,” he admitted. “We didn’t get along fabulously when we were young. And the years haven’t been kind to us.”

 

“How could anyone not like you?” Kili blurted out without thinking, then reddening at his outburst. He couldn’t imagine anyone not getting along with Bilbo, this kind, cheerful man who surely couldn’t have a malicious bone in his body.

 

Bilbo gazed at him with a small, sad smile. “Thank you, my boy. That is very kind. I think – well, he sees me as a bad influence, I suppose…”

 

“He’s a git,” Fili interrupted. “A homophobic, racist, git.” Fili was glaring out of the window, and Kili took that as an end to the conversation.

 

“Fili, dear – “

 

“I know, I know. He’s my father and I should love him. But you’re his brother aren’t you?” Fili snapped, waving off Bilbo’s consoling hand. He stood up and glowered out of the window again, as if by staring hard enough he could make the glass break.

 

Suddenly the tenseness in his jaw and temple relaxed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t get so worked up. Am I forgiven?” He gave Bilbo a sad, tentative smile.

 

“Nothing to forgive,” Bilbo said kindly. Fili wrapped his arms around his uncle’s neck and kissed the top of his head quickly.

 

“I asked Dina to help prepare a picnic for you tomorrow. If you check in the fridge you’ll find some samosas and hummus and fresh bread, that’s all for you – don’t forget to take it with you tomorrow.”

 

“Ah Bilbo,” Fili sighed. “You take care of me so well, I might never leave.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Bilbo replied.

 

The crickets were chirping loudly when Fili and Kili finally bade goodnight to Bilbo and headed back to the big house. From afar, they could hear the low hacking call of colobus monkeys, and, if he listened very closely, Kili thought he could hear the light ripping of grass as hippos grazed under cover of darkness at the bottom of the garden.

 

Kili was surprised it was so dark; during the summer in England, the sun would set late and the sky would remain light for hours, but here the sun set before seven every evening, leaving the heat behind. He craned his head upwards to look at the stars, but found his view obscured by the delicate net of thorny branches above.

 

“Bilbo’s gay,” Fili said suddenly.

 

“Oh,” Kili replied. Bilbo’s statement made more sense now. “Do you mean… is that why your dad thinks he’s a bad influence?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“Yes.” Kili needn’t have been hesitant, as Fili seemed in the mood to vent. “And another reason to hate him; Bilbo’s done nothing wrong. And nor have I. None of this is Bilbo’s fault, and it’s something Dad would never even try to understand. The bastard.”

 

It went against the grain for Kili to hear someone speaking so vehemently against their father but Kili couldn’t think of anything to contradict him.

 

“And another thing,” Fili continued. “James – my boyfriend in high school – was black. That was possibly the only thing he found more despicable than the fact that I liked men: the fact that I liked – loved – a _black_ man.”

 

“Oh,” was all Kili could say. He remembered Fili’s first words about his father: _he can be a racist twat sometimes_.

 

“Sorry for the flare-up before. You must think I’m a horrible nephew.”

 

“Not at all,” Kili replied quickly.

 

“And sorry for telling you all this stuff. I just need to get it off my chest.”

 

“Don’t be stupid,” Kili found himself replying. “We’re friends aren’t we?”

 

“Of course. But still. Forgive me?” He gave Kili that apologetic smile again, the irresistible smile with which Kili thought he would forgive him for crashing his car, burning his house and eloping with his mother – or maybe not quite.

 

Outside the door to Kili’s room, Fili gave him a quick hug and a warning: “Enjoy your bed for the last night. For the next week it’ll be the cold hard ground.”

 

“With at least an inflatable mattress, I hope,” Kili grumbled.

 

“Goodnight.”

 

“Night.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swahili translations:
> 
> Jambo - hello
> 
> Karibu - welcome
> 
> Asante - thank you
> 
>  
> 
> Ten points to anyone who can guess the inspiration for 'Biff' and 'Randy' ...


	5. Tsavo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili likes sweets.
> 
> Unfortunately their experience in Tsavo was not so sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg Randy is Thranduil omgwhoknew :)
> 
>  
> 
> On another note: this chapter is the main reason there is a warning tag of Graphic Violence on this piece. This was quite difficult to write and I only hope I handled these issues right and that no one is too shocked.

The next day they were woken by the smell of eggs, sausages and toast cooked by Dina. The Land Rover was packed, the boot lined with newspaper for the dogs and with full stomachs the boys waved out of the window as they shouted last-minute goodbyes.

 

“We’ll be back in two weeks!” Fili promised.

 

“Have a good time! Send my love to Tory!” Bilbo called, grinning as Frodo started running after the car. He stopped when his little legs were too tired to run any more, and waved at them with both hands before his little figure disappeared in the cloud of dust unearthed by the Land Rover’s tyres.

 

On the main road, Kili fished out a map, and unfolded it. “So, we’re here,” he clarified, jabbing a finger at the blue blob labelled _Lake Naivasha_. “And we’re going to come down here… through the city… to here?” he asked, tracing down a squiggly black line, over the dot marked _Nairobi_ and halting his fingertip over a green area labelled _Tsavo East National Park._

 

“Yes,” Fili confirmed patiently for the hundredth time. “We’re going to spend a week there. And then we’re going to continue, on _this_ road, to _here_.” He indicated towards the coast resting his finger on small dot labelled _Kilifi_.

 

Kili cackled. “I can’t believe we’re going somewhere called Kilifi! Isn’t it funny how the word Kilifi is kind of essentially a merging of our names? Kili and Fili?” Kili howled with laughter.

 

Fili didn’t seem as impressed as Kili was by this grand discovery. He grunted.

 

“Fiiiiliiiii,” Kili chanted. Fili looked round to see Kili’s face concealed behind his huge camera. It flashed, almost blinding him.

 

“Kili, I’m driving, you nutcase!”

 

“Just cos I’m not as good as you doesn’t mean I can’t take pictures too,” Kili retorted in an annoyingly sing-song voice. He paused. “Maybe I should go into poetry.”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

Kili responded by blowing a loud rude raspberry.

 

“Did you have cocaine for breakfast? I’ve never seen you so hyper.” Then he spied the two empty bags of Skittles on the floor by Kili’s feet and groaned inwardly. Fili had made a mental note to always watch carefully what Kili put in the shopping trolley.

 

Kili was suspiciously silent for a few minutes; when Fili managed to tear his eyes off the road to glance at him, he saw Kili was pulling faces at himself in the lens.

 

“Hey Fili, _selfieee!_ ”

 

This was going to be a long journey.

 

……

 

Unlike at the Masai Mara, this time they were staying in a campsite situated within the park boundaries. After entering at the main gate, it was a fair drive to get to the campsite and after getting lost a few times, they arrived late, the light fading fast as they hastily erected their tent. Fili hadn’t bothered to bring the mess tent this time, so they set up the gas stove outside and cooked and ate under the stars. The puppies, happy at a chance to stretch their legs after such a long journey, romped around them, though they soon tired themselves out and fell asleep at Fili’s feet. They couldn’t possibly bring them on safari with them, but the owner of the campsite promised to keep an eye on the dogs during the day while they were away.

 

It was an early start as usual the next morning.

 

“Time to get up,” Fili greeted, rolling over in his sleeping bag and punching Kili in the arm. “I’m going to make some tea.”

 

Kili snuggled back into his mattress for as long as he could (which was until Fili kicked his side of the tent as a reminder to get up), then drowsily pulled on his clothes and went outside.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“It’s hardly morning, it’s still dark,” Kili mumbled, rubbing his eye and yawning.

 

“You never really got the hang of early starts did you?”

 

Kili didn’t bother to reply.

 

……

 

Fili was delighted to see that Kili remembered the names of almost all of the animals Fili had shown him in the Mara.

 

“ _Simba!_ ” Kili cried, pointing as a tiny cub suddenly ambled across the road in front of the car. Fili slammed on the breaks just in time to avoid crushing the cub, which had stopped in the middle of the road for a curious look at them before bounding back into the long grass and disappearing from view.

 

Fili looked at him. “You didn’t tell me you were learning Swahili!”

 

“I’m not. I watched ‘The Lion King’ on the plane.” He looked pleased however. “ _Pumba!”_ he tried as a group of warthogs flinched at the sight of the car and raced away, surprisingly quickly, into the shelter of the long grass.

 

“Contrary to popular belief, _pumba_ is not how you say warthog. It’s _ngiri._ ”

 

But Kili wasn’t listening. “ _When I-I was a young wartho-o-o-g…!_ ” he belted out.

 

Fili groaned. “No! Not that song! If you knew how many people sing that, you would realise how unfunny it is!”

 

Kili did not stop singing, pelting headlong into an out-of-tune chorus of ‘Hakuna Matata,’ ignoring Fili’s mutinous mutterings.

 

“Be sure to expect retribution,” he threatened in an undertone as Kili’s voice swelled in volume in anticipation of the last “ _Hakuuuna Mata-taaaaaa!”_.

 

Kili, having completed his brutal rendition, finally stopped singing. He looked over to Fili, staring ahead of him with a grumpy expression on his face.

 

He scanned the grass outside the window. “There should be a mother around here somewhere, shouldn’t there?”

 

“Should be… but she could have left them to go hunting. Or to escape your horrible song.” Fili restarted the car and they moved on.

 

“How did you say warthog again?”

 

“I’m not telling you. You’re not interested.”

 

“Come on Fili,” Kili wheedled. “Stop sulking. Really. I want to learn. So tell me, again… _giri_?”

 

“ _Ngiri_ ,” Fili corrected, relenting. “Not to be confused with _nyati_ , which means buffalo…”

 

……

 

Kili always wondered how Fili managed to whip up such astounding meals while they were camping, given his limited toolkit of a few knives, a tin opener and a portable gas cooker. Tonight however, Fili was taking a more rustic approach, wrapping potatoes in tinfoil and sticking them in the hot embers of the fire to cook.

 

“How long will they take?” Kili asked.

 

“Only about an hour.”

 

“An _hour_? But I’m famished!” Kili wailed. “We should make smores,” he decided suddenly.

 

“Smores?” Kili’s eyes widened at the confused look on Fili’s face. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of _smores_!”

 

“What are they?” he asked cautiously. He knew enough about Kili’s dietary habits to be wary when he suggested something new; Kili had made him a marmite sandwich once, after his assurances that ‘yeast extract’ tasted better than it sounded. Fili still hadn’t forgotten how he’d almost thrown up and spent the rest of the day feeling queasy.

 

“You take a marshmallow,” Kili was explaining enthusiastically. “And you toast it till its all hot and gooey and melted, then you sandwich it between two crackers with a square of chocolate in the middle. It’s even better if you use chocolate digestives instead of the crackers, Fili you’ve got to try one!”

 

Kili bounded towards the car and returned with a plastic bag, fishing out two packets of biscuits and a sack of marshmallows, then beginning to hunt on the ground for decent-looking sticks. Fili goggled at him, reminding himself again to always watch Kili when they were in the supermarket.

 

“Dessert before dinner?” Fili protested weakly as Kili shoved a stick, topped with a highly unnatural-looking pink and green striped marshmallow.

 

“Don’t be so square.” Kili grinned, popping a marshmallow into his mouth before commencing to toast one. “You can’t trash it til you’ve tried it.”

 

Fili dubiously waited till his marshmallow had started to crisp on the outside, having learned from Kili’s mistake of putting it too close to the flames and succeeding in setting it on fire. He eyed the marshmallow-digestive sandwich for a while before finally sinking his teeth into the sweet treat.

 

The puckered-lipped face he made had Kili cracking up on the ground. “It’s not that bad, you health freak!”

 

“Mm,” was all Fili could reply, carefully setting down the biscuit and trying unsuccessfully to wipe the stickiness off his fingers. After his teeth were no longer tacked together, he spoke. “I feel like I have to eat lettuce for a month to make up for that.”

 

Fili refrained from eating anything else until the potatoes were done. After cutting them open and smothering them in butter, cream cheese and tinned tuna (“Calling me a health freak,” he huffed, mainly to himself), he shoved them into bowls and handed one to Kili, who wolfed it down in no time. Fili was amazed Kili had any room left given how many smores he had managed to cram into his mouth during the time it took for the potatoes to bake.

 

Fili sat back with a sigh of contentment, patting his bulging belly as Kili toyed sadly with the now empty marshmallow packet.

 

“I cooked, so you’re washing up.”

 

“You didn’t cook! You threw some potatoes into the fire, I’d hardly call you Jamie Oliver!”

 

“Urgh, fine,” Fili conceded, grabbing a dishcloth and following Kili to the tap a hundred metres away from their tent. “Still, I dread to think what you’d have had for dinner if it wasn’t for me. Probably just smores.” He shuddered.

 

“Shut up and pass me the soap.” Kili, after rinsing off a few more items, looked up and saw that Fili hadn’t moved.

 

“I _said_ –“

 

“Kili,” Fili said in a low voice. “Don’t move.”

 

“…why?” Kili replied in a whisper.

 

“There is a lion behind you.”

 

“ _What_?”

 

“Don’t look around. Don’t move. They usually won’t attack when they’re outnumbered.”

 

Kili felt his heart freeze, then resume beating at four times its normal speed. “Fili, what do we do?” he asked breathlessly, still in a whisper. He was starting to feel lightheaded.

 

Kili’s eyes widened and as he heard a stick crack behind him. “Filiii,” he whined.

 

“I’m not sure. Don’t panic, but it’s just taken a step closer.” Fili was managing expertly to keep his voice quiet and calm, but it was hardly reassuring. “Don’t move, if you run she’ll just chase you.”

 

Kili almost whimpered as he heard the animal take another step closer.

 

“Whatever you do, stay still.”

 

Kili squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing. A wet nose touched his hand, before he could stop himself he yelped and jerked forwards.

 

“Don’t run!”

 

But Kili’s legs wouldn’t listen as he sprinted back towards their tent, back towards the fire, yes, animals were afraid of fire! He expected Fili to be hot on his heels, but when he turned, he saw Fili was standing in the same place he had always been. Except that he was bent double and shaking with loud laughter. And next to him was a dog.

 

“JESUS, FILI!”

 

Fili’s face was still screwed up in helpless laugher as Kili marched over to him and shoved him hard. “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

 

“Come on,” Fili crowed. “That was _too good_.”

 

“I disagree!”

 

“Call it payback for that shocking rendition of ‘Hakuna Matata’ in the car earlier!” Fili retorted.

 

Kili resolved not to sing any more Disney songs in front of Fili after that, though he vowed to somehow indelibly copy the Lion King soundtrack onto Fili’s iPod shuffle at the soonest opportunity.

 

……

 

On the fourth day, Fili shook Kili awake at quarter to seven, and within fifteen minutes they had scoffed a breakfast of tea and toast and were packed, with food of course, into the car and driving into the park. The sun was still low on the horizon and they saw several hyenas scarfing down the remains of a kill probably left by some lions yesterday or last night. Kili grimaced – hyenas had always struck him as exceedingly ugly, even in the forgiving light of dawn.

 

They had several other sightings, Kili feeling immensely proud of himself when he spotted a pair of silver-backed jackals trotting into the bush fringing the road and a lone male waterbuck almost concealed behind the leaves. They delved into a patch of sparse forest, on the hunt for a leopard. Unlucky in that endeavour, they crossed over a ridge, chatting aimlessly about what they’d seen and which direction they should head in. Fili stopped the car abruptly.

 

“Oh Jesus.”

 

A horrific sight met their eyes. At the crest of the hill was a carcass, rendered to such a bloody butchered mess that was barely recognisable as a fully grown elephant. It’s head was covered in dark red blood from two gaping fleshy holes where its tusks had been hacked and wrenched out of the skull. It’s hide was peppered with bullet-holes and stab wounds. Flies amassed horribly around the dead beast.

 

Kili’s head reeled and his stomach roiled. He fumbled for the door of the car and vomited on the ground. One glance at Fili’s white face told him he was feeling worse. He seemed frozen, eyes transfixed on the horror in front of them. The smell was beginning to overpower them, the sickly stench of blood heady and oppressive, and every breath he took made Kili want to vomit again. He began to breathe shallowly through his mouth, staring at the radio of the car to stop his eyes dragging back to the butchered elephant in front of them.

 

This was cruelty of the most brutal kind. Kili had known about ivory poaching, it was impossible not to, but it was only now that the plight of the elephants struck him. The cruel reality of it hit him like a train.

 

Dimly, he saw Fili pulling out his phone and calling the park rangers, recalling their exact location with a shaking voice. They arrived within minutes, asking Fili and Kili several questions before they requested them to leave. Fili was only too happy to do so. Kili wasn’t sure if Fili was really in a fit state to drive, given his bloodless face and the way his knuckles clenched on the wheel as though he was determined to tear it off, but he said nothing.

 

They didn’t speak or stop for any more sightings until they had driven far, far away. Kili felt the car slowing down as the road traversed along a flat plain sprinkled with a few antelope in the far distance. The digital clock on the car radio announced it wasn’t even eight. They hadn’t seen any other cars. They were alone.

 

Kili saw that Fili’s hands were shaking. His face was still completely bloodless.

 

“Are – are you okay?” he asked.

 

Fili didn’t bother to answer. He buried his face in his shaking hands. “Sorry – I just – shit, I –“ and Fili burst into tears.

 

Kili crawled over the gearstick at once and wrapped his arms around Fili in a tight hug, babbling soft words and sounds like “Shh,” and “It’ll be okay”; they had no real conviction and he knew they probably sounded stupid, but it was the only thing he could think of to do in the face of Fili’s ragged, heaving sobs, muffled by his hands. Kili tried to prise them off his face and steered Fili to crush him to his chest.

 

Fili’s sobs eventually died down but Kili didn’t let go of him for a long time. They were both still in shock. Eventually Fili unravelled himself from Kili’s arms and got out of the car. He retched violently, and the acrid smell of vomit was almost a relief, it stung their nostrils and seemed to drive out the putrid stench that still seemed to be hovering in their minds and noses.

 

“I’m – sorry,” Fili muttered, grabbing a tissue from the glove compartment. “It’s just – so awful. Such a shock. Never – seen anything like that.”

 

“Don’t apologise,” Kili whispered, holding tightly to Fili’s free hand. “It is awful. I can’t believe it.”

 

“I don’t think I can stay here any more,” Fili admitted quietly. “Do you – do you mind if we leave today? We’ll be a few days early to the coast but I’m sure Tauriel won’t mind.”

 

“Of course not. You’re right. But – “ Kili hesitated. “The coast is still a few hours away isn’t it? Are you up for the drive?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Fili confessed, glancing at his hands. They were still trembling. He glanced at his face in the mirror; it still was white as a sheet. “Maybe we can spend tonight in a hotel somewhere. I don’t know. I just want to get out of here.”

 

“Me too.”

 

They went back to camp and had packed up their tents and put everything in the car in record time. They drove to a town called Voi, where Fili found a cheap hotel that happened to have a spare twin room for the night. They dumped their bags and Kili decided to have a shower. As he towelled his hair dry, he heard Fili on the phone to his sister, telling her about their ordeal and that they would be arriving a few days early.

 

Neither of them really felt like eating, so they went for a walk in the town with the dogs instead. There wasn’t a huge amount to see, so they eventually ducked into a café. They sipped their drinks silently, passion fruit juice for Kili and mango for Fili. They made their way back to the hotel where Fili tried to sleep, and Kili tried to immerse himself unsuccessfully in a book. The horrible image from that morning refused to leave him alone, and judging from Fili’s tense breathing and the way his eyes were closed just a little too tightly, it was on the forefront of his mind as well.

 

They had dinner in the hotel restaurant, leaving the dogs in the back of the car with a few blankets, some food and a bucket of water. They both agreed to an early night, and Kili fell asleep at once.

 

When he woke up the next morning, Kili saw that Fili hadn’t seemed to share his exhaustion. His eyelids were drooping and his eyes had faint shadows underneath him. Despite his insomnia, he insisted he would be fine to drive and after a few coffees and an overpriced continental breakfast from the hotel, they started the journey to the coast, which Fili predicted would take around three hours.

 

The rangers called them in the mid-morning and told them that they had identified the elephant as the matriarch of one of their largest groups. They’d had no luck in catching the poachers; the thieves and their ivory had vanished. The roads leading to the area they had found the carcass were closed and would remain so for a few days out of respect. Kili didn’t ask what would happen to the body.

 

They listened to the radio for most of the journey, overzealous presenters and tacky machine music doing nothing to stimulate a conversation between the two. It occurred to Kili that despite the fact that they had barely talked since yesterday morning, he felt closer to Fili than ever.

 

Unprecedented traffic elongated their journey by an hour, and it was past lunchtime by the time they reached Kilifi. Kili could smell salt and the sky was an abundant, startling blue. Kili caught glimpses of the sea through tree trunks and palm fronds.

 

Fili departed from the main road, taking off down a sandy track and pulling up to a whitewashed villa built in a similar style as the house in Naivasha, except for the arched windows fitted with wooden shutters. A sign by the door read _Nyumba Amani_ – peace house.

 

“Home sweet home. I’m ravenous.”

 

“Same.”

 

They got out of the car just as a girl appeared at the front door. She looked as if she had just come in from the beach, wearing a black bikini with a knee-length leaf-printed kaftan thrown over it. She had long straight red hair that went down to her waist and her face looked concerned as her eyes settled on her brother.

 

Fili managed a weak smile. “Hey Tory.”

 

She ran and hugged him fiercely though tenderly. “I’m so sorry,” she said quietly. “How are you?”

 

“Dealing,” was all Fili replied. They held eachother tightly for another minute before pulling away and Tauriel’s eyes fell on Kili. She almost did a double-take.

 

“I’m Kili, nice to meet you,” he said, holding out a hand. She waved it away with a laugh.

 

“I do hugs, not handshakes!” she said, pulling him too into a hug. “Nice to meet you too.” She let go of him and turned to her brother. “How’s everyone, how’s uncle Bilbo, how’s Frodo?”

 

“Hyper and growing too fast. Speaking of… Bilbo’s given each of us a little present.”

 

Fili opened the boot and out spilled the two highly excitable puppies. Tauriel let out a shriek.

 

“Oh my god, they’re _gorgeous_!” She immediately scooped one up and admired it with the glee only girls faced with puppies can summon. “So _precious_!”

 

Fili rolled his eyes, reaching down to pet the other puppy, who looked bewildered and hurt at being neglected from Tauriel’s continuing praise: “ _Precious_! So beautiful and _precious_!”

 

“For God’s sake Tory, it’s only a puppy!”

 

“ _Precious! Precious_ little _mite!_ ” She looked up, beaming. “I know! I’ll call him Precious!”

 

“You’re not serious – _Precious_?!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s a boy!”

 

“So?”

 

“Seriously? Precious?”

 

Tauriel’s eyes gleamed, and she gripped the puppy closer to herself. “His name is Precious, Fili!”

 

Kili had a distinct impression she had done that only to spite him, but made no comment. Until now, he had thought that Fili was exaggerating when he said he and Tauriel fought like cats, though he was quickly starting to rethink this assumption. He started to unload the bags from the car as the siblings continued arguing over Tauriel’s choice of name for the puppy.

 

“Don’t worry,” he said to the remaining dog, who seemed to look up at him hopefully. “You’ll get a name too – though hopefully it won’t be as awful as Precious.”

 

“Fine!” he heard Fili saying loudly as he entered the house. “Fine! You know what – I’m naming my dog Arnold!”

 

“Don’t be stupid Fili, she’s a girl!”

 

Fili scooped up the dog and held her to his chest. “Arnold,” he crooned. “Suits you.”

 

Kili, relieved for a distraction at last, tried hard not to roll his eyes and snigger at the ridiculousness of it all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not think I am exaggerating in my description. Having seen photographs, I would rather think I was downplaying it. 
> 
> Tsavo East is home to the last of the famous Big Tuskers, who were poached almost to extinction for their especially massive tusks. This year, one of the last remaining Big Tuskers, Satao, who was under 24/7 watch, was killed by poachers. 
> 
>  
> 
> The next chapters will be much more light-hearted


	6. Kilifi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun in the sun, though Tauriel's affections towards Kili seem to be misplaced...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating sooner than I planned, as I've got the next four chapters polished up and didn't want anyone mulling on that last chapter for too long. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who left kudos and comments, it's wonderful to hear what you think :) XXX

 

Kili opened his eyes when the blazing sunshine outside proved too strong to ignore any longer. His room was light and airy, with whitewashed walls just like the rest of the house, and wooden beams crossing the high ceiling. He was glad of the ceiling fan whirring above him, as the night had been almost too warm to be comfortable.

 

He headed downstairs and saw he was the first up. He remembered that Fili had insisted the night before that he help himself to anything, so made himself a cup of tea with a hefty spoonful of sugar. Arnold and Precious were still slumbering on their pillows in the living room and did not stir as he padded past them to sit on the porch, admiring the view of the iridescent sea, the foamy white breakers on the horizon. He knew they were too far away, but if he closed his eyes he imagined he could hear them roiling and crashing.

 

“Ew, are you making breakfast?” Tauriel’s voice floated out to him from inside.

 

“Yes. You don’t have to have any.”

 

“Thanks. I’d rather have cereal.”

 

“That milk went off two days ago!” Fili protested.

 

“…I’ll take my chances.”

 

Kili’s solitude was ruptured as Tauriel skipped onto the veranda, greeting him with a broad smile. “Good morning!”

 

“Morning,” Kili replied, deciding against telling her that she and her brother both said ‘good morning’ with exactly the same intonation. She bounded over and sat next to him.

 

“How’d you sleep?”

 

“Like a log. I conked out before head even hit the pillow, I think.”

 

“That’s the sea air.” She inhaled deeply, lips tilted in a smile. “I love it out here. It’s so beautiful.”

 

“You’re so lucky to have this place,” he told her truthfully and she beamed.

 

“You haven’t even seen the beach yet. It’s just stunning. We’ll go after breakfast.”

 

“Morning,” Kili said again as Fili appeared through the doors, bearing two plates laden with scrambled eggs on toast and fresh fruit. “Oh, you made breakfast!”

 

“It’ll be your turn tomorrow,” Fili told him, grinning as he passed a plate.

 

Kili moaned with almost inappropriate pleasure as he tucked in.

 

“How’s your muesli?” Fili asked innocently. Tauriel ignored him, chewing her mouthful with narrowed eyes as she glanced shrewdly at Kili’s rapidly depleting plate.

 

As promised, after breakfast all three threw on swimming costumes and headed to the beach. Fili and Tauriel quarrelled all the way along the shaded footpath, and kept snapping at eachother as they lay out their towels on the white sands and stretched out under the sun. Their bickering was borderline good-natured when Kili asked a question he hoped would stop them arguing for at least a minute.

 

“If you guys are twins, which of you is older?”

 

“I am,” they both replied at once, then glared at eachother.

 

“Mum never told us,” Fili admitted, rolling his eyes. “She said she didn’t ‘for obvious reasons’. Dad wasn’t even there so there’s no way we can find out.”

Fili pulled out his book while Tauriel nattered away to Kili. He could see he was being excluded from this conversation; but he wasn’t feeling very talkative anyway. He was glad of a chance to finally get to grips with this novel – the last few weeks had been one of those times when he found himself so busy he never got the chance to read more than a few pages, so he had yet to be truly hooked by the plotline.

 

Tauriel sat up, hastily re-tying the straps on her bikini and shooting Kili a wink as she did so. “Come on, let’s go swimming!” she said, grabbing Kili’s arm and pulling him up with her. “Fili? Coming?”

 

Fili grumbled and turned his face into his forearm. Tauriel laughed. “Too busy working on your tan, bro?”

 

Fili glowered at her in reply and Tauriel, still laughing, ran towards the turquoise water, dragging Kili with her.

 

Fili followed a few more lines of stark white text sitting rigidly on the page in front of him, and then gave up – maybe this was just a boring book. He sat up and turned over. He watched as Tauriel goaded Kili into a water fight. At one point Kili vanished under the waves. Tauriel looked confused for a few seconds, then burst into helpless giggles as Kili suddenly resurfaced to launch his shoulder into her middle and flip her backwards into the water. Fili closed his eyes and settled back down again.

 

The next time he looked up, they were chatting. Tauriel was draped across the airbed they had brought with them and Kili had his hands on the inflatable, pushing her to and fro gently as they talked.

 

Fili watched as Tauriel jumped onto Kili’s back and they made their way back to shore and wondered. Kili and Tauriel? Given her flirtatious nature, he should have seen it coming. He wondered how he felt about it. He tried to suppress the childish jealousy that threatened to engulf him as Kili and Tauriel flopped down on either side of his towel – Kili was _my_ friend first.

 

“The water’s gorgeous,” Kili told him. “You’re missing out.”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“Maybe we should take the boat out and have sundowners this evening,” Tauriel suggested.

 

Kili turned wide eyes to Fili. “There’s a boat _too_?”

 

“Stop being so surprised,” Fili laughed awkwardly. “I believe, Tory, that’s the only bright idea you’ve had all day.”

 

“I’m taking the controls.”

 

“In that case, I’m wearing a life jacket.”

“Good choice. You’re such a pathetic swimmer I’m surprised you’re not bringing arm-bands.”

 

“Remind me when you’re leaving and this bombardment on my self esteem will end?”

 

Tauriel punched him in the arm. “A week Friday. Which reminds me, you’re coming with me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Mum says she hasn’t seen you in far too long so she booked you a flight. She knew you’d say no if she asked so she figured if she actually paid for it you’d come.”

 

“Aw, what?” Fili moaned. “But – I have work!”

 

“Stop complaining – think of me! I have to put up with flying back with _you_!”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Please take some goddam pills this time. I’m not having you puking on me again.”

 

“I did not puke on you!”

 

“You did.”

 

“Fuck off. I can’t believe her!” Fili wailed. “Making me go to England in February! How could she be so cruel?”

 

Tauriel sighed dramatically. “Stop being such a pussy, it’s not that bad. Be nice, you didn’t even come over for Christmas this year, she is your mother, and for some mysterious reason she misses you.”

 

Kili nudged Fili, who looked positively devastated. “You could come see me,” he suggested with more than a little quiet hope in his voice, but before Fili could respond, Tauriel cut across them both.

 

“Who’s up for snorkelling?”

 

“Snorkelling?” Kili’s eyes perked up at once, but he bit his lip as he looked out across the blue water.

 

“It’s perfectly safe,” Fili assured him.

 

“There’s not like… sharks or anything, right?”

 

Fili regarded him with baleful cobalt eyes. “Would I lie to you?”

 

Kili gave him a sideways glance and Fili laughed again. “Okay don’t answer that…”

 

Any fears Kili had soon vanished as he they jumped into warm turquoise waters and swam out where the water got deeper and the seaweed gave way to flat stretches of rippling white sand, interspersed with blocks of coral that looked positively otherworldly. Kili thought the coral was almost as interesting as the fish, some of it bulbous and smooth, some of it crinkled and sharp, yet other parts of it looking like brains, all in wonderful colours he could never have imagined would flourish under the sea. He could have laughed aloud if not for the snorkel stuck in his mouth as Tauriel propelled herself fully under the water, disturbing a school of black-and-white striped Zebra fish (aptly named), which swam panickedly up into his face.

 

“Show off,” Fili muttered next time he resurfaced. He pointed out a tiny transparent jellyfish floating on the surface of the water, almost indiscernible from a bubble, and told Kili to watch out for those.

 

The milieu of life under the water astounded him: rainbows of parrotfish, angelfish, butterfly fish, huge snapper (Kili couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty for the delicious baked snapper they had had for dinner last night), Moorish idols, blue surgeonfish (“ _Just keep swimming!”_ he chanted in his head, but refrained from singing aloud, remembering Fili’s vengeance last time he had sung a Disney song). He had been snorkelling before, and had even taken a scuba-diving course at his local swimming pool, though he’d seen nothing that compared to the rainbow of life below them. He voiced this to Fili and Tauriel when they got back on the boat and lay, dripping in the sun to dry. For once, they were united as they laughed.

 

“Scuba-diving in the UK? Is there even any point?” Tauriel choked.

 

“Yes,” Kili said defensively. “You know, just off Cornwall you can find fish in some really very interesting shades of brown…”

 

When Fili suggested asking around if any dolphins had been seen around the area recently, Kili thought he might pass out from excitement.

 

……

 

The beach house had no Wi-Fi, and once he was over the withdrawal symptoms, Kili found himself unusually glad – he felt a strange freedom without the pressure of facebook or his emails constantly burdening him.

They wiled away the days playing board games, lounging on the beach, reading and swimming. Kili had long abandoned the thought that Fili had been exaggerating when he said he and Tauriel fought like cats. From the first incident he witnessed over the naming of the dogs (which was still on-going, though Kili still thought it was stupid), their relations did not improve; though they weren’t nasty to eachother, it was more like a constant stream of antagonistic banter between them. Kili suspected that while they clearly annoyed eachother to death, deep down it was good-natured.

 

He also learned that the twins were intensely competitive, especially with eachother. He gave up playing Monopoly with them, as he was always rendered bankrupt in less than an hour, and instead watched bemusedly as Fili and Tauriel oscillated as victors in intensely extravagant, raucous Monopoly tournaments, some of which lasted days at a time.

 

The twins were also ridiculously good at card games, much to Kili’s annoyance. He finally found respite in Scrabble; it was the barely-literate twins’ turn to look bemused as they watched Kili construct complicated well-scoring words like ‘quizzer and ‘ozone’, adding up the totals smugly. His finest hour was when he added ‘xylo’ to Fili’s ‘phone,’ managing to cross a triple word score and announcing that he had beaten them two hundred and seventy eight points to less than a hundred between them.

 

Kili was less proud of this achievement when they played four rounds of Shithead later, at which he lost spectacularly every time.

 

They took the boat out for sundowners in the evenings – Kili never fully got over the novelty of the speedboat and every evening regarded it with awe and reverence. He did not trust himself to take the controls, though both Fili and Tauriel assured him “it’s easy.”

 

“Honestly, I can barely drive a car, who knows what havoc I’d wreck with a boat?”

 

They packed a picnic and took the boat out for a day, so Fili could show Kili the rest of the coast. They sailed up to Turtle Bay, an area little to the north in Watamu, so named because of a large rock sitting in the midst of the bay that did indeed look distinctly like a turtle, with a protruding bulbous part of rock that resembled its head. Fili pointed out the many hotels lining the coast, naming them all. They anchored the boat and decided to take a long walk. The beach boys lounging on the white sands immediately jumped to their feet as they saw them coming, offering services like snorkelling trips, proffering carved bits of soapstone and wood, and flirted outrageously with Tauriel. She did a good job fending them off while still maintaining a façade of friendliness.

 

They caught a _tuktuk_ into town, where Fili said there was a fantastic ice-cream place run by Italians, a promise he certainly delivered on, Kili thought as he finally settled on a pistachio, chocolate and coconut super-sized cone. They wandered around as they ate, and Kili was amazed a the contrasts he saw; the beaches were lined with hotels and whitewashed guesthouses houses not unlike Nyumba Amanibut he saw no tourists walking the streets; it seemed as though they locked themselves away, too shy to emerge for anything but a dip in the sea or a quick walk along the beach.

 

The town was vibrant with shops and brightly-coloured people. Fili disappeared into a sports shop while Kili and Tauriel, still licking her yoghurt and mango cone (Kili wondered how she could possibly eat so slowly, he had devoured his own super cone in mere minutes) perused the market. Kili stopped at almost every stall, even if he didn’t want to buy anything, admiring their wares and their tie-dye clothes. He was eventually talked into buying a lusciously coloured scarf with dolphins printed on it by a vendor with a gap between her teeth and very persuasive smile. He gave it to Tauriel, who gave him a kiss on the cheek in return.

 

“Where’s Fili?” Kili frowned, looking around in time to see Fili emerging from the shop with a huge black rubber ring. “Ah, _no way!_ ”

 

Tauriel gasped and seemed about blurt out a question but Fili, second guessing what she was going to say, interrupted her before she could start: “ _Alright_ , you can have a go but me and Kili go first!”

 

The hour-long boat ride was much more fun when being dragged along by the big boat, clutching onto the black ring for dear life next to Fili, their crazy laughter drowned out by the roar of the engine and the rush of the breakers as they bounced and bumped over the choppy water.

 

……

 

One thing the twins were both good at was cooking – though as usual they interpreted this as a chance for competition. They took it in turns to cook dinner, each trying to gain the upper hand as the meals became more and more extravagant. Kili was only too happy to fuel the competition, pitting them one against the other before he decided Tauriel had finally won with her seafood platter of fresh crab, king prawns and avocado, followed by the most sumptuous chocolate mousse cake he had ever had the sinful pleasure of tasting.

 

Fili was still miffed about this but grudgingly agreed when Tauriel brought out a bottle of vodka and declared they were long due for a game of never-have-I-ever. Kili was never sure of the rules (were you supposed to say something you _had_ or _hadn’t_ done?) but the game came to a halt as the iPod plugged into the speaker suddenly attracted Tauriel’s attention, blasting out a drum intro then throwing itself into a sultry guitar melody.

 

“Ah, this song is fantastic!” She leapt out of her chair and started swaying her hips. “Dance with me!” She grabbed Kili’s arm and yanked him to his feet.

 

Kili was tipsy enough not to mind, and he laughed as Tauriel arranged his hands on her back and her waist. She grabbed his hips and started swaying them in what she deemed was the proper time.

 

“Sorry, I’m not quite as good at this as you are,” he giggled and she smiled seductively at him.

 

“ _And it’s just like the ocean, unde the mo-on_ ,” she murmured, twisting around and wrapping his arms around her, bending her knees and encouraging him to do the same.

 

“Hell, if you guys bust a tyre soon, I’m happy to let you know that there’s a spare wheel over here!” Fili called exasperatedly.

 

Kili’s phone buzzed unexpectedly. Kili smiled apologetically at Tauriel and extracted himself, pulling his mobile out of his pocket and glancing at the caller ID.

 

“It’s my mum!” A broad grin split Kili’s face as he swiped across the screen of his phone, and wandered discretely a few metres away to talk.

 

Tauriel watched him go, then flopped down next to Fili. “He’s so fun. It’s nice to know you’ve made such a great friend.”

 

Fili snorted. “You mean _you’ve_ made such a great friend.”

 

Tauriel huffed. “Not really.”

 

“Much as I admire your valiant efforts, you’re being a bit obvious.”

 

“Am I?” Tauriel mused. “Well in that case, he’s _oblivious_!”

 

Fili let out an incredulous laugh. “It cannot be! There exists a man on this earth resistant to your charms?”

 

“Don’t be silly,” Tauriel snapped. “It’s not that at all.”

 

Fili let a confused expression cross his face for a second. Tory didn’t miss it. She snorted. “Oh _please_. That boy hasn’t got eyes for me and we both know it.”

 

“Do we?” Fili was still confused.

 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

 

Clearly not, Fili thought, but he wasn’t about to voice that thought aloud.

 

Tory was not fooled. “Fee, haven’t you seen him? I don’t think I’m… his type.”

 

His type? Fili didn’t need to think about what that innuendo was supposed to mean. But Kili… was that possible? Fili abandoned the thought before it made him dizzy.

 

“I’m not sure if you’re right on that front, but don’t be downhearted, sis,” Fili said in a mock sincere voice, patting her on the arm, then switching to his normal voice. “What about that other guy? Your dance partner in London?”

 

“You mean Leggy? What about him?”

 

It was Fili’s turn to snort. “Now look who’s oblivious!”

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Tauriel retorted quickly, a deep blush calling her bluff as it settled resolutely on her cheeks.

 

…….

 

“Hey Mum!”

 

“Hi darling!” Dis sounded joyous at hearing her son’s voice again. “How are you?”

 

“Really good.” Kili sighed happily. His feet were taking him down the sand path to the beach, the white stretch luminous in the dim light of the moon. “It’s so nice to be back.”

 

“Aw, I’m glad you’re having a good time.” Dis voice was warm. “I miss you. What have you been up to?”

 

“Ah Mum, so much… so much… Went to stay with his uncle Bilbo, he’s really nice, and… I went snorkelling!”

 

“Oh that’s wonderful. What did you see?”

 

“Fish.. and… fish…” Kili seemed to be thinking hard. “And… oh wait I saw a sea turtle!”

 

“What time is it over there, darling?”

 

“Uuh… bout ten.”

 

Dis laughed. “Kili, are you drunk?”

 

“Nooo…” But even over the phone, Kili was a hopeless liar. His voice trailed up as he elongated the word, and Dis laughed again.

 

“Ah baby. If you’d rather get back to your friends I can leave you.”

 

“No, no, it’s nice to hear your voice,” Kili insisted. He looked down as the waves washed over his toes.

 

“It sounds like you’re having quite a party there.”

 

“Not really. There’s just the three of us.”

 

“Who else is there?”

 

“Fili’s sister Tauriel.” Kili’s face shifted into a grin before he could stop himself. “She keeps flirting with me.”

 

Dis laughed aloud again. “Does she know that’s a mission doomed to fail?”

 

“She’s great, really. But I don’t know if Fili’s really happy about it.” Kili’s grin grew a little wider as he looked down, dragging his does through the wet sand.

 

“Haven’t you told either of them?” Dis voice sounded surprised. Kili wasn’t usually shy.

 

“It just… kind of hasn’t come up.”

 

“Fair enough,” Dis amended easily. She couldn’t quell her sneaking suspicions about Kili’s feelings towards Fili, and felt her thoughts were confirmed at Kili’s next words.

 

“He’s coming to England soon. I was gonna ask him if he wanted come over, if he had the time, if he wanted to.” Kili’s voice drifted into a note of uncertainty at the end.

 

“You should,” Dis said honestly. “That would be lovely.”

 

“Mum…” Kili’s voice sounded hesitant.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Um… nothing. Nothing. I’ll tell you when I’m back.”

 

“Yes. You’ll have a lot to tell me, I’m sure.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You should get back to your friends, I don’t want to keep you.”

 

“Okay. Bye Mum.”

 

“Bye darling. Tell them all I say hi.”

 

“Alright. Love you. Bye.”

 

Kili slid the phone back into his pocket and stared into the sea. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t say it, but the memory of what happened in Tsavo still brought tears to his eyes. It was a story better told face-to-face. The last few days of fun at Kilifi had helped to drive away the haunting images but Kili was still shaken deep down inside. He wanted to know if Fili felt the same but he didn’t want to bring it up.

 

He flicked a glob of wet sand into the water with his toes, shaking off his dark thoughts. He headed back to the lit-up house, where he could distantly hear the twins quarrelling about who had to do the washing up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Kili and Tauriel were dancing to was 'Smooth' by Santana and Rob Thomas: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcUxrpIwuQ4
> 
>  
> 
> Look out for Chapter 6 early next week, entitled 'The Middle of Nowhere'. Allow your imaginations to run wild...


	7. The Middle of Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silly Fili.

 

The day that they finally had to leave, Kili found himself sad to be leaving the beautiful coast. Tauriel gave them both an enthusiastic hug and Kili promised to let her know if he was ever in London.

 

“You should come see one of my shows!” she said brightly. “This dance company I’m in, we perform all the time, if you come I can get you in for free.” She batted her eyelashes at him and Fili suppressed a desire to roll his eyes.

 

Arnold barked at them from her prison in the back of the car, reminding them that they had to leave. Fili gave his sister a brief but heartfelt hug, saying he’d meet her at the airport in just under a week to go to England.

 

Fili was quite quiet as they drove back. Kili wondered if he was tired and would have offered to drive, but he had an automatic back home and the look of the gearbox on Fili’s car scared him shitless. Besides, when they hit Nairobi, by which time it was evening and growing dark, the traffic grew and the common sense of the drivers on the road seemed to have disappeared entirely. Kili refastened his seatbelt and gripped the handle of the car door tightly as trucks, beat-up saloons and four-by-fours meshed together, no one seeming to have any sense of consideration for other drivers at all.

 

“I have to pop into a pharmacy,” Fili said. “Need to pick up some meds.”

 

“How come? Are you ill?” Kili looked at him, concerned, wondering if this had been why Fili had been so quiet on the journey.

 

“Just some sedatives. I – I hate flying.” Fili sighed. “Stupid right. I don’t mind flying myself in a small plane – “

 

“What?” Kili groaned. “Don’t tell me you can pilot those little planes too.”

 

Fili grinned. “One day you will realise that I am a god in disguise and can do everything.”

 

“Indeed.” Kili raised an eyebrow. “But, planes aren’t that bad. They say you’re like a hundred times more likely to be killed in a car accident than in a plane crash.”

 

Just as he said it, a madman in a white sedan with a smashed headlight swerved recklessly in front of them. Fili had to step on the brakes hastily to let him in before a truck on the other side ploughed past them, honking loudly. “That’s not very reassuring right now!” Fili said and laughed. “I know it’s stupid. And you’re right of course, but - there’s just something about it that freaks me out. I keep thinking… this is how I’m going to die. If I don’t take pills for it, I’m insufferable.”

 

“You won’t die in a plane crash,” Kili said without thinking. He grabbed another cashew. “You’re going to die - when you’re old. And weather beaten. Your wrinkly leathery skin still brown from the sun.”

  
  
Fili chuckled. “Well, I’ve heard of worse.”

 

“How do you want to die?”

  
  
“I don’t know!” Fili spluttered.

  
  
“No c’mon. If you had to pick it.”

  
  
Fili thought. “I’d die in the bush,” he said finally. “Like an elephant. when they know they’re going to die, they leave their group and just walk off alone. Usually never to be seen again.”

  
  
“Well if you ever go disappearing off into the bush and don’t come back, I’ll know to be worried,” Kili muttered.

  
  
Fili laughed. “If anyone ever does that it’s a reason to be worried. The bush isn’t dangerous, but it isn’t safe either.”

  
  
Kili repeated Fili’s last sentence a few times in his head before giving up.

 

“It’s okay.” Kili rummaged in his bag, hungry as usual, and fished out a bag of cashews. “It’s just a phobia. Everyone’s got one.” He offered Fili a handful and he took them, eating slowly while Kili knocked them back without thinking.

 

“I hope she didn’t book me on EgyptAir. I don’t think I could do a dry flight… I need tranquilisers and a stiff drink to survive planes,” Fili sighed. “I am not looking forward to going to England. A combination of my two least favourite things – flying and the cold!”

 

“Quit your grumbling for a second,” said Kili. His heart was starting to beat faster as he thought of how to phrase what he was about to say; he chided himself for being so nervous. “I was wondering if you wanted to come see me. While you’re in England. It’s not far from London, only about two and a half hours on the train.”

 

“That sounds doable,” Fili agreed. He smiled and Kili smiled back, breathing a surreptitious sigh of relief, though he couldn’t say why.

 

Fili saw a sign for a pharmacy and parked the car. He returned after about fifteen minutes, carrying a small plastic bag and two boxes of takeaway pizza.

 

“Thank god, I’m ravenous!” Fili watched with amusement as Kili tore his box open with glee, immediately starting to demolish the margherita.

 

“It’s not going to run away.”

 

“Hm?” Kili glanced at him.

 

Fili shook his head. “You must have been a t-rex in a former life, the amount you eat.” Kili didn’t reply, but climbed into the boot to pass his crusts to an anxious-looking Arnold.

 

After their small break, night had properly fallen. Fili frowned as they pulled out of Nairobi, away from the havoc of inner-city traffic and into the countryside. It was still a good few hours til they got to Naivasha and he had been hoping to arrive before midnight. They were on a long stretch of road with no streetlights when he slowed down.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Shit. Fuck. I’m such an idiot.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I was meant to fill up when we were in the city and fucking hell I forgot!” Fili slammed his hands on the steering wheel. “Shit!”

 

“So, are we out of petrol?” Kili asked carefully, making sure he understood.

 

“Diesel. But yes. Shit.” Arnold whined as Fili thumped his fist on the wheel again and Kili was tempted to grab his wrist before he did it again.

 

“It’s alright,” he reasoned. “We’ll just sleep in the car. In the morning we can call Bilbo and ask him to rescue us. Or we can see if we can walk to the nearest petrol station,” he amended quickly as Fili gave him a look of horror.

 

“I can’t ask Bilbo to _rescue us_. I’m already going to die of shame. This is so embarrassing. I’m so sorry, Kili.”

 

“Don’t be,” Kili punched his arm lightly. “It’s an adventure. But first, I have to pee.”

 

Kili was grateful to the lack of streetlights as he relieved himself after letting Arnold out, who seemed to have the same idea as he did. When he got back to the car, he saw Fili was still in the driver’s seat, looking both angry and forlorn.

 

“Stop worrying, you’re the only one who’s mad,” Kili scolded. “Help me put these seats down.”

 

They flattened the seats in the back and the middle and spread out the mattresses and sleeping bags that were still in the boot from when they were camping in Tsavo. Kili flipped on a battery-powered lantern Fili conveniently kept in the car and hung it off the headrest of the front seat.

 

“See?” Kili giggled. “Not so bad. Quite cosy in fact.”

 

“Thanks Kili,” Fili yawned. “I’m still a moron.”

 

“A bit,” Kili conceded, grinning.

 

Fili stripped down to his boxers and tshirt and crawled into a sleeping bag. “So, where exactly is it you live?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“In England. When I come see you. How’m I supposed to get there?”

 

“You’ll have to get a train. It leaves from Waterloo and gets into Dorchester.”

 

“Hmm… How do I get to London Waterloo from Kensington?” Fili asked sleepily.

 

“You’ll have to get the tube I expect,” Kili said with a little chuckle. Fili cracked an eye open and tried to glare at him, but he was really too tired to put a lot of effort into it.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“Nothing.” Kili loved the thought of Fili, who he often dubbed Bush-Boy in his head, trying to navigate the railway systems in his home country. “You must be knackered. You’ve been driving all day.”

 

“I’m exhausted,” Fili admitted with a sigh. “Frankly, I could fall asleep in the middle of a motorway.”

 

“I’ll shut up then,” Kili whispered. He flicked off the lantern. “Goodnight Philip.”

 

“Night.. Kirilian.” Fili’s garbled voice trailed into nothingness. In minutes his breathing had become slow and steady.

 

“I hope you don’t snore,” Kili muttered, to no reply.

 

It was completely dark – Kili had no idea where they were, only that it wasn’t in Nairobi and it wasn’t anywhere near Naivasha. He made sure all the doors were locked in the car – now would not be a good time to be mugged and have the car stolen. Arnold was curled up on the driver’s seat, eyes opening groggily at every sound, then sliding shut again. It was pitch-black outside, the only light coming from the occasional lorry that thundered past, its wares clattering ominously from within as though threatening to fall out, which they probably would somewhere along the way.

 

Kili wasn’t tired yet. He settled for staring at his blonde companion’s face, flickering in and out of his view. The headlights of the cars illuminated his face briefly as they passed, but Fili didn’t stir. He looked relaxed and reminded Kili of some kind of woodland animal, curled up with the sleeping bag drawn up under his nose, covering his mouth. Kili wanted to reach out and stroke his shaggy-looking beard, wondering if it was soft or coarse; he was immensely jealous, he had always been unable to grow more than some pitifully sparse chin-fuzz, which he always shaved off before he could embarrass himself by appearing in public with it.

 

His heart thrummed with warm excitement as he thought of Fili coming to Dorchester – finally, he could show Fili where _he_ grew up, the place _he_ knew like the back of his hand. At that snug thought, he felt his eyelids drooping and he snuggled into his sleeping bag next to Fili, falling easily into contented dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe **sneaky The Almighty Johnsons reference** hehe


	8. Hell's Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell's Gate, like most places in this story, is a real place! 
> 
>  
> 
> A lammergeyer: 
> 
> http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://ibc.lynxeds.com/files/pictures/Gypaetus_barbatus_0.jpg&imgrefurl=http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/bearded-vulture-gypaetus-barbatus/landing-take-away-sheeps-leg-bone-supplied-feeding-station&h=191&w=264&tbnid=dlBJs1tcx3mixM:&zoom=1&tbnh=144&tbnw=200&usg=__AClJ0ezjrZZGqq0AVF7OUO9pcpk=&docid=0S2aDSCulr_8MM&itg=1&client=safari&ved=0CIoBEMo3&ei=1fs7VMaHDa7d7QbkgYGgBQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all those who have commented/kudosed! Now I'm back at college and life is busier, I'm hoping to do weekly updates, usually beginning/midweek :) I've mapped out this story and if all goes to plan there is still a lot to go, so can't say how many chapters it will be! 
> 
> And on another note: if anyone has any prompts/ideas they would like to see for this story or these characters, please comment or let me know, I feel up for a challenge!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy! <3

The next morning, Fili sheepishly called Bilbo and explained to him their predicament. Bilbo drove over to meet them, chuckling when he saw their sorry state and heard how they’d spent the night, then handed Fili a jerry can of fuel and said he’d meet them at the house. They spent another happy few days at Bilbo’s, Kili deciding he could definitely get used to this.

 

Fili thought it would be a shame for Kili to leave without seeing some of the other sights around Lake Naivasha. He told Kili about a place called Hell’s Gate, an escarpment a few miles away from Bilbo’s house where it was possible to take a walk in the gorge and camp overnight, and Kili agreed happily when Fili suggested they go and spend his last weekend there. Frodo, naturally, begged to come and was most displeased when his older cousin told him he had to stay with Bilbo.

 

Getting to the gorge involved a long drive through a grassy savannah, dotted with animals. Kili thought they were remarkably tame, barely batting an eyelid as the car trundled noisily past them.

 

Kili was pleased to be able to use his new hiking boots on the gorge walk, which, after all, he had bought specially for his trip to Kenya and had barely used so far. He had never paid attention to geology during geography classes at school, but he couldn’t deny that the rock formations in the gorge, carved out by the annual water flow during the rainy season, were otherworldly.

 

“They filmed that movie here… ah God what’s it called.” Fili scrunched up his face and thought. “… Angelina Jolie… Lara Croft?”

 

“ _Tomb Raider_!” Kili exclaimed. “That was here?” He looked up at the towering rippling walls with renewed reverence and Fili shook his head.

 

“You pay too much attention to that stuff.”

 

“Well, a little popular culture wouldn’t do you any harm,” Kili teased.

 

They ate a late picnic lunch, then drove around  Hell’s Gate national park for a while. They set up a tent in the early evening at the campsite situated at the top of the escarpment, looking out on the flat yellow grassland. The grazing animals slowly retreated to the shelter of the bushes and trees fringing the foot of the cliffs as the sun set. Fili and Kili swigged beers and admired the view.

 

Kili insisted on cooking, and proudly showed off his newly learned skill, gleaned from Dina – spaghetti carbonara. Fili looked impressed as Kili plonked a plate in front of him happily.

 

“Not bad,” he approved. “Better than the smores, anyway.”

 

After dinner they laid out a blanket and spread out, looking for shooting stars. They were lying there for several minutes before Kili asked, “What animals do you get here? Apart from the usual stuff.”

 

“Mmm, apart from gazelle, zebra, warthogs... No big cats, except the occasional leopard. Oh shit Kili, don’t look behind you but…”

 

“Ha ha, Fili.”

 

There was a comfortable silence. Kili shifted on the ground, presumably trying to dislodge some of the rocks poking him from underneath the blanket. His fingers brushed Fili’s side, and he pulled Fili’s arm off from where it was resting his chest, laying it on the ground and pillowing his head on it.

 

……

 

This was weird. Definitely a bit weird.

 

But not altogether unpleasant.

 

Fili turned his head a little so he could look down at Kili, but Kili wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were turned up to the skies, pinpricks of stars reflected in the giant onyx orbs.

 

But Kili was straight, wasn’t he? He’d never said he wasn’t – but he’d never said he was either. Fili thought about Tauriel, her desperate attempts to flirt with him which were seemingly in vain: but then again, Fili reckoned her pride would have accepted no other explanation for Kili’s apparent oblivion to her advances. Fili wracked his brain, never taking his eyes off the upturned, beautiful face inches away from his own.

 

“I saw one!” Kili said suddenly, pointing, jolting Fili out of his confused reverie. “A shooting star.”

 

“Dammit,” Fili scowled, though his expression was mostly hidden in the dark. “I’m never good at spotting them.”

 

Kili chuckled. “Look harder.”

 

He shifted his face so his cheek was pressed against Fili’s chest. Fili’s poor brain whirled even faster. What did this all mean? What was Kili doing? Was it possible –

 

His question was answered for him as Kili slowly looked up at him, their noses centimetres away from eachother. Fili didn’t recall closing his eyes, nor closing the distance between them, but he felt the relief and warmth as his lips closed around Kili’s, moving softly, the gasps of their shifting breaths the only sound in the silence up here.

 

He smiled as he lay back down, winding an arm around Kili’s slender body. Maybe Tauriel was right after all – a grudging thought, but a welcome one.

 

……

 

Kili had been Thinking. A Lot.

 

His dream of becoming a wildlife photographer was long over. He was well sure of that. Not only because he saw Fili’s photos, but also his own rejection had convinced him; he didn’t have what it took, and he accepted that. But more importantly, he had found a new calling.

 

He could still feel the kiss tingling on his lips when he decided it was finally time to tell Fili.

 

“I’ve been thinking,” he told Fili softly.

 

“Congratulations, Kili.”

 

“Shush, I’m serious. I want – I want to go into conservation work.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes.” Neither of them needed to voice what had convinced him into that decision.

 

“And I want to do it here,” he added.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Do you – do you think you’d mind?”

 

“Why would I mind?” Fili chuckled. Then he suddenly stilled. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “Kili, look. It’s a lammergeyer.”

 

A great dark bird was circling the sky, blocking out the stars as it’s silhouetted shape grew bigger and bigger, swooping lower and lower. They both watched it, stunned into silence as it alighted on the scrubby tree a few metres away from them.

 

“How can you even tell what it is in the dark?” Kili whispered.

 

“They’re so striking,” Fili whispered back. “I could recognise one anywhere.”

 

The lammergeyer scanned the area around it haughtily, resting its eyes on the two men for a few seconds. It shifted its feet, getting comfortable, then hunched its wings and tucked its head into its chest.

 

“It must be roosting here,” Fili murmured in awe. “I’ve never been this close to one before.”

 

Kili found his hand in the dark and clutched it. Fili felt as if the bottom had dropped out of his stomach as he squeezed back. The low whooping calls of hyenas began in the distance, but Fili knew they were no threat.

 

“We should go inside,” Kili whispered.

 

Fili chuckled. “Worried about the hyenas? You don’t need to be, they’re scavengers. They wouldn’t attack us.”

 

Nonetheless he got up quietly and pulled Kili up with him. He rolled up the blanket and chucked it into the car before following Kili inside the tent, giving the lammergeyer one last look before he zipped it up behind him.

 

Both encased like worms in their sleeping bags, Kili shuffled over. Fili felt his breath on his face before Kili pressed his lips to his again. “Good night, Fili.”

 

“Night night Kee.”

 

“Kee,” Kili giggled sleepily. “That’s new.”

 

Fili let the kiss last a little longer this time, though there was a limit to how much further it could go, given that all four of their hands were blockaded by the fabric of their sleeping bags. Kili moved so their legs were touching. They fell asleep to the sounds of eachother’s soft breathing, the low whistles of the singing acacias and the cackles of hyenas in the distance, watched over always by the haughty lammergeyer high up on her thorny perch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	9. Dorset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fili visits Kili this time and he is not a fan of the cold. And HI KILI'S FAMILY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to everyone who leaves comments and kudos :)   
> i hope you like this chapter, it was one of my favourites to write!

Kili was waiting at the station. When Fili’s train pulled in, Kili spotted him, standing still and looking a little confused among the handful of people now striding down the platform towards the exit.

 

“Isn’t it nice that this time it’s _me_ the one who’s picking _you_ up?” he laughed.

 

Fili’s eyes narrowed accusingly as Kili led them to his car, a second-hand silver fox that had seen better days but was still shiny and for the most part un-battered. “You _can_ drive!” he said accusingly.

 

“It’s an automatic.” Fili grunted in distaste and Kili grinned.

 

“How was your journey?”

 

“A bit nerve-wracking. The London Underground is a nightmare. And…” his voice trailed off.

 

“Not nervous are you?” Kili teased. He patted Fili’s leg. “You’ll be fine, it’s just my mum, nothing to worry about. And you’re here to see _me_ , aren’t you? You can say hello quickly and then we can barricade ourselves away and not talk to her again! Besides, don’t you meet strangers for a living?”

 

Fili rolled his eyes but seemed reassured. They were swooping past green fields and quaint little cottages neatly encased within low stone walls. By some miracle it was a gloriously sunny day, despite being February. Fili had to admit that he did like England in the sunshine. He rolled his window down, and instantly regretted it when a blast of icy air hit him in the face. The sun in England is _very misleading,_ he concluded as he wound the glass up hastily.

 

The silver fox took a sharp left through an open gate leading to a small red-brick house. They got out of the car, feet crunching on gravel. Kili smirked as Fili shivered. “Bit nippy are we?”

 

Fili glowered, but hastily rearranged his features into a small smile as a woman with dark hair, who could only have been Kili’s mother, opened the front door.

 

“I thought I heard you drive in. Get inside, before you freeze to death!” Fili was all too grateful to comply.

 

“I’m Philip, pleasure to meet you,” he said politely, sticking out his hand. Dis smiled and shook it warmly with both of hers.

 

“Lovely to meet you too, Kili’s told us all about you.”

 

“Bad things,” Kili shot over his shoulder, where he was hanging up his coat.

 

“Good things,” Dis corrected. “Take Philip’s coat, you rude child.”

 

“You can call him Fili if you want.” Kili snagged Fili’s coat on a hook and took off after his mother into the kitchen. “ _Mmm_ , I smell something good. You didn’t tell me you were baking!”

 

“If I had, none of the rest of us would have gotten any. You’re not allowed to eat a single one, I’m saving them for tomorrow.” Kili peered through the glass oven door at the rising muffins with a mournful groan.

 

Dis turned back to Fili and sighed, though she sounded more amused than exasperated. “Sorry Philip, my son does take liberties…”

 

“You can call me Fili,” he replied quickly. “It was a family nickname… that clearly escalated.”

 

Dis smiled. “Alright – Fili. How long are you in England for?” Dis’ smile was broad and kind, before he could reply, something furry bashed into the back of his knees.

 

“Oi! Bella! Behave!” Fili smiled down at the black lab as it sniffed interestedly at his fingers.

 

“Oh, don’t worry, I love dogs. I have four of them at home.”

 

“Four?! You must have a garden and a half.”

 

“Well it’s not my house and actually they’re not entirely my dogs, they – “

 

But before he could get any further, he was interrupted for the second time by the doorbell ringing, promptly followed by the sounds of the door opening, a rustling of plastic bags and movement in the hall. Kili straightened up, confused. “Who’s – Uncle Thorin!”

 

“Hello, Kili,” a dark-haired man greeted him, just as another head popped out behind him.

 

“Uncle Frerin!” Kili cried gleefully, leaping to his feet and bounding across the room.

 

“How’s my favourite nephew!” Frerin cried, laughing as he lifted Kili off his feet in a bear hug.

 

“Your _only_ nephew, you mean,” Kili chided.

 

“Then my favourite _and_ least favourite nephew,” he quipped as Dis groaned: “Honestly, I don’t know why you bother ringing the doorbell if you just charge in anyway!”

 

Kili sidled up to Fili. “This is a bit of a baptism of fire,” he muttered, grinning. “This is my uncle Thorin…” Fili shook hands with the man. He was very tall, with broad shoulders and piercing blue eyes. Looking around, Fili saw the same striking sky-blue eyes on all three siblings; they contrasted vastly with Kili, whose eyes were like burnt umber, almost liquid in most lights. They reminded him of the eyes of antelope he had seen. Thorin had long hair, with streaks of grey at the temples and a burly black beard, neatly trimmed.

 

“… and this is my uncle Frerin.” Frerin shook hands with him, beaming. Frerin appeared to be in around his late forties, with the same dark hair as his siblings although it seemed almost a little faded, as if he spent a lot of time outdoors.

 

“This is my friend Fili.”

 

“Ah, you’re the famous Fili!” Frerin exclaimed, clapping him on the back. “I do a lot of travelling myself, I’m looking forward to hearing all about Kenya.”

 

“Be careful, he can talk the leg off a horse,” Dis called a warning over her shoulder, pulling the muffins out of the oven. She tested them, pressing her fingers lightly to their domed surface and they sprang back obediently. Satisfied, she began laying them out on a cooling rack. She winked at Kili. “That’s where we got this one from.”

 

Kili was helping Thorin unpack the bags of shopping he and Frerin had brought in. He turned around and stuck his tongue out at his mother.

 

Eventually, someone made tea and the five of them traipsed into the living room to sit around the coffee table. Kili’s house was nice, the furniture well loved but still in good condition. Everything in it looked as if it had earned its place and each seemed to have a story to tell, from the mismatching eclectic cushions on the sofas and armchairs to the hand-painted mug full of fragrant tea Fili gripped in his hands. He strokedBellaabsently with one hand as he answered the questions Kili’s curious family asked him.

 

Kili, for once, didn’t say much, just grinned at Fili, glad to see he was getting along well with his mother and Frerin at least – Thorin was quiet, but then again, he always was.

 

Dis looked up as her son sauntered casually back to the kitchen. “Hey! I said those weren’t for you!” Kili grinned mischievously around the mouthful of lemon and poppy seed muffin stashed in his cheeks.

 

Fili had never seen Kili this cheeky. It was rather endearing.

 

“Come on, Fili, I’ll give you a tour of the house,” Kili offered, jumping up and taking Fili’s empty mug out of his hands and placing it unceremoniously on the floor.

 

Fili had already seen the open-plan kitchen-dining area and the living room. Kili showed him the tiny toilet concealed in the cupboard under the stairs. Upstairs was a small landing with a bathroom and three bedrooms; Dis’ room was en-suite. The house was undeniably cosy.

 

They went into Kili’s room and sat down on the bed. It was small and simply furnished, with a single bed and a pale wooden desk pushed against the window, a chest of drawers nestled in a corner. Fili smiled as he recognised a map of Kenya pinned to the wall next to the bed.

 

“Sorry about that downstairs. I didn’t realise the whole family was coming, and by the sounds of it you’ll meet even more of them tonight.”

 

“That’s okay. You met my family when you were last over! All the important members of it, anyway.”

 

“What do you think?”

 

Fili had long decided he liked all of them, even if Thorin intimidated him slightly. He hadn’t said a word practically since Fili had arrived, only asking Kili in a low rumbling voice to pass him the sugar for his tea.

 

“They’re wonderful,” he said honestly. “But Thorin’s a bit scary.”

 

Kili laughed. “He’s always like that. He’s quite intense, but he’s got his heart in the right place. I think he’s just quite shy – seems odd doesn’t it, compared to my mum and Frerin! He owns a mining company, and Dwalin, that’s his business partner, is probably coming over tonight. They’ve been friends forever and he’s a big softy, despite anything he says...”

 

Fili wasn’t sure what that meant, but decided to remember it when the time came.

 

They were called downstairs for lunch, consisting of hot soup and fresh bread.

 

“Did you make this, Dis?”

 

“Yes, I hope you like it.”

 

“It’s fantastic!” Fili wondered how all of Dis’ talent in the kitchen appeared to have bypassed her son.

 

After lunch, Dis looked outside and wrinkled her nose. “It looks like it’s going to rain later. Would you boys mind taking Bella out for a walk? She needs the exercise and if you go now you might miss the storm.”

 

“You’ll need to borrow some clothes,” Kili told him, dragging Fili into the hallway and opening a closet. He tossed out two pairs of wellies and held out two heavy Barbour jackets. “Mum and Dad got these years ago, before they were fashionable. Almost twenty years old, but they’re still waterproof.”

 

Fili pulled on the wellies and the jacket dubiously. To top it off, Kili hooked a farmer’s cap onto his head. Fili glanced down at himself awkwardly.

 

“I feel like a _twat_.”

 

“Oi, that’s my regular Sunday walking-the-dog-outfit you’re talking about.” Kili grinned as he shrugged on his own jacket and boots.

 

He led the way down the drive and into the fields. The terrain under their feet alternated between crunchy frost-covered grass and squelchy mud. Fili mentally reiterated his decision never to trust British weather.

 

They climbed over a fence and on the other side Kili unclipped the leash. Bella bounded ahead, racing the flurry of small birds she had disturbed hiding in the stubs of wheat.

 

“How’s your mum?”

 

“Fine, fine… She keeps treating me, it’s as if she thinks she can persuade me to see more of her if she plies me with new clothes and days out whenever I’m over.”

 

Kili glanced sideways at Fili and noticed for the first time everything he was wearing looked very new. He looked as if he’d had a hair-cut as well, though it was pulled back in its usual scruffy bun. Kili tried to resist the urge to lean back and check out his behind in his new well-cut Levis and failed.

 

“Can’t say I’m complaining. Your arse looks fabulous in those jeans.”

 

Fili laughed aloud as Kili suddenly blushed, and Fili realised that once again Kili’s mouth had spoken before his brain had given him permission to.

 

“You can have them. I hate designer clothes. They cost too much.”

 

“Well, apart from being spoiled to death, which only _you_ could possibly moan about, is it nice being home?”

 

“Mmm,” Fili hummed noncommittally. _Home._

 

Kili glanced over at him questioningly and Fili tried to explain himself.

 

“Well, this is hardly home for me is it? Of course, my family is English and in Kenya we white Kenyans stick out like a sore thumb… but at the same time I can’t help feel like a stranger here. I hardly know where I stand. I think I’ve come to realise that home is people, more than a place,” he concluded, rather lamely, he thought.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Kili blurted out. “I’m so stupid, should have thought my words through more carefully. I didn’t mean it.”

 

“Why are you apologising?” Fili asked in surprise. When Kili bit his lip he realised Kili thought he had offended him. He smiled to show he had done nothing of the sort.

 

“You can be so silly. I’m not upset. C’mere,” he said, coming to a halt and opening his arms.

 

Kili’s mouth cracked into a sheepish grin before he walked into Fili’s arms and hugged him tight. He could feel Fili’s heart thumping in his chest and wondered if Fili was as nervous as he suddenly was. He looked up at Fili through his lashes and decided to be brave.

 

It was a sweet kiss, cold lips against cold lips, which blossomed into warmth as they slid over eachother, tender and caressing with every move. Fili wanted to commit every detail to memory, his fingers clutched on Kili’s jacket, one of Kili’s hands on his shoulder, the other pressed against his chest, vague birdsong in the background, the biting chill that still numbed the tip of his nose and the icy breeze suddenly freezing his cheeks, making him pull away abruptly then smile as he drew Kili into him for a hug.

 

“I’m fucking freezing,” he whispered. “Any chance we can go inside?”

 

“I raise you one hot chocolate,” Kili replied. “if that is agreeable.”

 

“That is _most_ agreeable.”

 

Kili served up some hot chocolate with the help of his trusty friend Mr. Cadbury (Fili said yes to whipped cream but _no_ to marshmallows) and walked into the living room with two mugs to see Fili examining some of the photos on the mantelpiece.

 

“Is that your dad?” he asked softly, pointing at a photo of a blond man with his arms around a child on his knee; the black-haired child was missing its two front teeth and could only have been Kili.  


“Yes.”

 

“He looks nothing like you,” Fili said before he could stop himself – it seemed Kili’s lack of thought before he spoke was contagious. He kicked himself as Kili’s face fell.

 

“Yeah, I know,” he said lightly. Fili wasn’t fooled and gave him an apologetic hug.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine, it’s only the truth,” Kili said with a low, humourless laugh. “Everyone says it. But I have his eyes though.”

 

“That’s for sure.” The glittering chocolate eyes sparkling back at him through the glass were unmistakable.

 

“Interesting look…” he commented, staring at another photo of Kili’s dad, bald, and pulling a daft expression as he posed next to Dis.

 

“He lost his hair after chemo. He first got cancer when I was really small,” Kili told him.

 

“I meant the silly face,” Fili said softly, giving Kili’s hand a squeeze.

 

“Oh.” They stared at the photos, the figure so full of life and love who now existed frozen in time in home-made picture-frames, tacked with sequins and dry pasta and drawn-on smiley faces, ink bleeding into the grains of the wood.

 

“They wanted more kids,” Kili said, so quietly Fili almost didn’t catch the mumbled words. “But the chemo made him… unable to.” He turned to Fili, biting back the moisture that threatened to rise in his eyes. “Don’t ever be sorry for having a twin, Fili. A sibling was the only thing I ever really wanted in the world.”

 

Fili grimaced comically, trying to lighten the mood. “You say that. Even a sibling like Tory?”

 

“You know, you really shouldn’t complain about Tauriel, you’re much more similar than you think.”

 

“What? How can you say that?” Fili cried in not entirely mock outrage.

 

Kili grinned wickedly, glad to note that the tears had stopped pricking at his eyeballs.

 

“Such a stirrer, you are,” Fili muttered, sipping broodily on his hot chocolate.

 

“Aren’t you boys too old for cartoons?” Dis scolded, walking in on them half an hour later sprawled on the sofa in front of cartoon network.

 

“It’s _Tom and Jerry_ ,” Kili whined.

 

“And you’ve had hot chocolate! You’re going to spoil your appetites.”

 

Kili gave her a look expressing the sentiment ‘Oh, _please_ ’.

 

“As if anything could spoil your appetite,” Dis conceded with a laugh. “Why don’t you go help your uncles in the vegetable garden?”

 

“No need,” Frerin piped up, suddenly emerging behind her, a streak of dirt on his face and traces of weeds under his filthy fingernails. “Is that _Tom and Jerry_?!”

 

Fili and Kili laughed as Frerin bounded towards them and plonked himself on the floor in front of the television. Dis and Thorin exchanged a withering look, then closed the door to the living room behind them with a pointed _snap_.

 

An hour later, Dis, who had refused all Fili’s offers of help (“Kiss-ass,” Kili muttered), opened the door and announced that dinner was ready. As they entered, Frerin immediately being sent out to _“Wash your hands, your nails are_ shocking _!”,_ Fili laid eyes on the most enormous man he had ever seen. He liked to pride himself as being fairly muscular, but this man dwarfed him in both height and brawn. To top it off, his meaty hands and his shiny bald pate were both covered in swirling ink and his ears contained so much metal he looked as if he’d set off a metal detector with a mere glance.

 

“Hi Dwalin.” Kili, far from quailing at the sight of this monster, smiled up at him. “This is my friend Fili.”

 

“Pleasure,” Fili said feebly, holding out his hand. To his surprise, Dwalin’s grip was firm but gentle.

 

“Nice to meet you.” His voice had a pleasantly lyrical Scottish accent, and Fili felt strangely put at ease, an ease that lessened considerably as Thorin sat down next to him at the dinner table.

 

“Dis, Dis, Dis, you sit down,” Dwalin chided, flapping her away from the kitchen. “We’ll get this. Come on Kili!”

 

Kili got up and he and Dwalin brought the rest of the food through.

 

It turned out that Dwalin, as well as being a family friend and Thorin’s business partner, was also Kili’s godfather. Before he left, he pushed a twenty-pound note into Kili’s hands with the words, “Look after yourself. Don’t spend this on anything stupid.”

 

Kili’s face brightened as he thanked Dwalin, then turned to Fili. “When’s your train again?”

 

“Ten.”

 

“Got time to pop to the pub. My treat?”

 

“I’m pretty sure ‘don’t spend this on anything stupid’ includes alcohol…”

 

Kili waved a hand. “He’s from Glasgow! I’m pretty sure Dwalin thinks beer is good for you!”

 

Fili said goodbye to Kili’s relatives, Frerin and Dis both giving him a big squeeze and parroting brightly for him to come again soon. Fili was amazed at the pub Kili drove them to – it was the picture of a perfect English pub, with a beer garden, an old-fashioned sign with a picture of a deer painted on it, and golden lit-up letters spelling out ‘The Mitre.’ Fili thought this must have been how Kili felt in the Mara, as they stepped inside and Fili found himself regaled with memories of every British sitcom he had ever seen – the wooden bar, the attractive oak panelling on the walls, the leather-covered barstools, and the shiny dark high tables and chairs dotted around the place.

 

They ordered drinks and sat at a table, chatting amiably, Fili resisting the urge to play footsie with Kili under the table. He sipped his pint; Kili had ordered him a snakebite. He had never had one before, but he liked it, the tart beer contrasting nicely with the tangy sweet cider.

 

“I used to work here,” Kili reminisced, gazing fondly around him. “In my last two years of school, and all through uni… it was how I saved up enough money to finally come to Kenya.”

 

“You worked in a bar?” Fili raised his eyebrows over his glass.

 

“Don’t look so surprised! I may be hopeless in the kitchen, but I can pour a mean pint. If you ever fancy a liquid lunch, I’m your man. I can whip up a decent coffee too.”

 

“Kili the barista,” Fili imagined, and snickered.

 

Before they knew it, it was twenty to ten. They piled back in the car and Kili walked Fili onto the station platform. They looked at eachother.

 

“Well, bye,” Fili said, outstretching his arms. They hugged.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Kili whispered.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

They could see the train, approaching slowly, its headlights glinting off the metal tracks. Kili smiled at Fili.

 

“Don’t die on the London Underground.”

 

“I’ll try. I’ll also try not to get mugged.”

 

“You’re afraid of getting mugged? In London? When you’re from in Nai-robbery?”

 

“Big cities are all the same,” Fili laughed, sticking out his tongue.

 

The train pulled in and Fili climbed onto it. He lowered the window on the door and waved.

 

“See you soon!”

 

 _See you when_? Kili asked in his head, watching as Fili’s train took off, rounded a corner and vanished from view.

 

……

 

The first thing Kili did when he got home was root in the freezer for the tub of Phish Food he knew was hiding in there somewhere. He grabbed a spoon and was shoving it morosely into his mouth, watching reruns of _Frasier_ when Dis found him. She burst out laughing.

 

“You couldn’t be more cliché.”

 

Kili made no reply, only picked at a fudge fish, trying to dislodge it from the frozen ice-cream around it.

 

“Pass.” Dis took the spoon from him and scooped a glob of chocolatey coldness into her mouth. “He’s really lovely, your friend.”

 

“ _Friend_ ,” Kili mumbled.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“We didn’t even kiss goodbye at the station. And I don’t even know when we’ll see eachother again. Why am I so hopeless, Mum?”

 

“You are far too melodramatic.” Dis stole the fudge fish Kili had been trying to unearth and popped it in her mouth as Kili cried out in protest.

 

“ _Mum_ , I had dibs! That was _mine!”_

 

“See? There’s bigger problems in life than boys,” she told him brightly.

 

Kili glared at her mutinously before wrapping his arm protectively around the tub.

 

“There’s always facebook, and skype. You’ll see him again soon, I’m sure of it.”

 

Kili half-smiled, leaning into his mother for a one-armed hug. “Who knows.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nai-robbery is something people do nickname Nairobi sometimes. With good reason…


	10. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few people commented on the fact that this is a very slow-burn story - and i agree, it is slow!!! So I've decided to be super nice and post two chapters to stop you fretting!!!

He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t nervous.

 

His mother had smiled through her tears at the airport, murmuring things about flying the nest, that it had to happen sometime, and she was only glad he was going somewhere so exciting even if it was far away. She said he would be fine, more to reassure herself than him. His heart had soared as soon as the wheels of the plane had left the ground, although now, staring at the blackness outside the window, punctured only by the tiny blinking light at the end of the wing, Kili’s jitters were starting to overwhelm him, breaking out from the little box in the back of his mind where he had squashed them.

 

The wildlife photographer budding inside him was long gone. He’d scoured the internet, pelted his CV at almost every anti-poaching organization he could find was elated when several accepted him – the next year for him was lined up with internships and bouts of fieldwork training. His biology degree was much better suited to conservation than photography anyway.

 

He felt now, deep in his bones, that he had truly found his calling. He couldn’t wait to touch down and start his new journey in Kenya, the country whose people and places he had fallen in love with after his very first step on those red soils. Every time he reminisced about Kenya he remembered it with fondness and exhilaration. There was so much left to discover, so much more he wanted to explore, to do, to learn, to see.

 

And now he was moving there. _There_. Hundreds and thousands of miles away from the place he had called _home_ for twenty-two years. There was something definitely slightly daunting, if also extremely exciting, about that prospect. Being out there with a new job, to make new friends, with a new friend – Fili.

 

He remembered their last kiss very well – had savoured and replayed it hundreds of times in his mind, had relived it so often he wasn’t sure if some of the details had been real or if he’d made them up. Whenever he’d gone on walks with Bella and his mother he’d stopped for a second at that spot, closing his eyes; he told his mother it was nothing when she asked, but he was sure the little smile on his face gave him away.

 

He and Fili had been in almost constant contact since they last saw eachother in Dorset, but Kili couldn’t help but feel that their conversations over texts and facebook had seemed very, well… platonic. And they’d hardly ever skyped – whenever Kili saw that blonde face on his screen and heard his familiar voice, he found himself overcome with shyness and utterly unable to have a conversation like a normal human being. Email was safer – he didn’t stumble over his words or struggle to think of anything to say and, besides, Fili hated facebook.

 

What was he expecting? Fili had said he’d meet him at the airport. But then where? Kili’s job was in the city – and Fili had said that he had gotten a little place in Nairobi where he could stay. But then what? They had skirted round the issue, never discussing whether they would actually live together or not. And _honestly_ , common sense scolded him, even if they did get along like a house on fire, was _that_ really a wise option, given that they’d only ever met twice, really?

He held his breath as the lights below them grew larger and larger, the wheels of the plane hit the ground with a jerk and a roaring filled his ears as the plane lifted it wingflaps and slowed to an eventual halt on the runway.

 

Contrary to his previous experiences, his suitcase was one of the first off the plane and onto the baggage belt. He only had one – packed to the brim, he’d had to argue with the lady behind the check-in desk to avoid paying a fine for overweight baggage (he’d evaded it by stepping on the scales himself to prove he was in fact underweight; the grumpy check-in lady, unable to find a flaw in his argument, grudgingly allowed his luggage to pass through, after pointedly slapping an ‘OVERWEIGHT’ sticker onto its side).

 

His heart was beating hard as he made his way out of the departure terminals, past customs to the International Arrivals. He wondered if it would be awkward, if they would hug. Should he kiss him in greeting? Or would that be too forward? It had been almost eight months since they had seen eachother after all. Fili could have found someone else for all he knew. They hadn’t made any promises.

 

Fili spotted a dark lanky figure. It wasn’t hard, at this time of night hardly any passengers were around.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey!”

 

He seemed to have taken him by surprise. Kili’s eyes were wide as he took in Fili. There was an odd pause for a fraction of a second, before they both opened their arms and embraced.

 

“It’s good to see you,” Fili whispered.

 

“You too.”

 

They broke apart, and Fili grabbed Kili’s single suitcase. “This all you’ve got?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They got into the familiar red Land Cruiser. It occurred to Kili that he didn’t have a clue where they were headed.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“Well um – there’s this place,” Fili replied. “That I’ve, um – been renting.”

 

“Oh, yeah.”

 

“It’s quite sweet, just a little bungalow and it’s in a good area.” Fili was repeating himself, he had already told Kili about it in an email a few weeks ago.

 

“Uh huh,” was all Kili could answer.

 

Given the lack of traffic it took them surprisingly little time to get there. It was still dark, but the sky was just starting to lighten, suggesting dawn was on its way. Kili could just make out a large garden with the vague shapes of trees beyond the low bungalow.

 

“We’re on the outskirts of Karura forest,” Fili told him. “So we get monkeys in the garden. They can be a bit of a pain sometimes, they try to get inside the house and eat the fruit but – hope you don’t mind.”

 

Kili shook his head, a small smile on his face.

 

Fili opened the front door to reveal a small living room with a fireplace and a rather horrible purple sofa in front of it. “That sofa was a cast-off of Bilbo’s. I know its awful but it’s really comfortable, I promise. And I’m going to get some new covers for it when I’ve got the time. Sorry I haven’t got much furniture yet, I haven’t been here that long, only about a month or so. I’m going back to Naivasha next weekend to get some more stuff. And Arnold of course. I left her there, just til everything got settled and sorted and -.” Fili closed his mouth to stop him babbling.

 

“That’s okay. It’ll be kinda fun eating off crates for a while.” Kili grinned. “Although, that sofa is quite ghastly.”

 

“I agree.” They regarded the sofa with distaste for a few seconds, then caught eachother’s eye and began giggling.

 

“Come on, I want a tour,” Kili demanded.

 

Fili showed him the little kitchen, which had a nice view over the garden in the daytime, the small toilet leading off from it, before leading him down a small corridor with another bathroom and two bedrooms with attractive wooden floorboards. Each bedroom had a mattress on the floor.

 

“I haven’t bought beds yet,” Fili admitted sheepishly, tugging on the end of his ponytail as they surveyed the room Fili was clearly sleeping in, his clothes strewn all over the floor. Fili kicked a pair of his boxers under the wardrobe before Kili could see them, wishing he’d thought to tidy up before he’d left.

 

“This is lovely,” Kili said truthfully. He hadn’t failed to notice that the mattresses in both rooms had been made. Did Fili expect him to sleep in the other room?

 

Fili seemed to be wondering the same thing. Neither of them spoke.

 

Kili, finally, crossed the room and sat on Fili’s mattress. He grinned up at Fili.

 

“This place is great.”

 

Fili inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. “You can stay here as long as you want.”

 

“So, are you busy these days? Got lots of safaris?”

 

“Oh. Actually… I’m only working part-time for Tampani now.”

 

“Oh?” This was something Fili hadn’t divulged during their cyber conversations – Kili was surprised.

 

“I’m actually doing a lot more photography. I’ve got some exhibitions and stuff coming up. I’ve set one up at the Muthaiga club.”

 

Kili nodded. He’d read about the Muthaiga Club, started during colonial times; he was frankly surprised it was still open, but it apparently was a raging business, with modern middle-class Kenyans, expats and white Kenyans making up its clientele.

 

“We’ll have to go one night and I’ll show you.”

 

“I’d love to.” Kili yawned and Fili glanced at his watch.

 

“When did you leave?”

 

“Mmm… I left my house at about midnight?”

 

Fili did some quick calculations in his head, working out the time difference. “You’ve been travelling for over twenty-four hours!”

 

“Nine hour stopover in Cairo… that was fun.”

 

Fili smiled ruefully. “You flew Egypt? You’re a braver man than me.”

 

“Wasn’t that bad. Just fucking boring in the airport. Have you ever spent an entire day at Cairo airport? _And_ I didn’t have an adapter, so all my stuff ran out of battery and I couldn’t even charge them.” Fili laughed at Kili’s grumpy tone.

 

“You could have brought a book.”

 

“I did, I finished it.”

 

“What was it, _Noddy in Toyland_?”

 

“ _Actually_ , it was _The Constant Gardener._ ” He smiled. “It inspired me. I want to go to Turkana.”

 

“I’ve never been,” Fili admitted.

 

“We should go.” They smiled at eachother for a long second before Kili yawned again and the tension returned.

 

“Have you got a spare toothbrush I could borrow please? I think I forgot mine.”

 

Fili made a face. “You can’t borrow it, you can _have_ it – I don’t want it back. I’ll go find it… umm… yeah.”

 

He went into the bathroom, handing Kili a toothbrush when he re-entered the bedroom a few minutes later. Kili saw he had already changed into some loose stripy pyjama pants and a t-shirt.

 

“Thanks.” He took the toothbrush and went into the bathroom, where he shucked off his jeans and prepared for the night. He would normally have left his clothes and shoes in a pile on the bathroom floor, to be picked up eventually when he finally got sick of the sight of them, but he remembered he was in Fili’s house as Fili’s guest so he folded them up and placed them neatly at the foot of the bed.

 

When Fili came back from the kitchen, carrying a bottle of water in case one of them got thirsty during the night, the lights were still on but Kili had already climbed into bed and was cocooned in the covers.

 

“I hope you’re not a sheet whore,” he whispered, sliding his legs under the duvet next to him. He flicked the switch next to the bed and darkness suddenly enveloped them.

 

Fili blinked a few times to get used to it, then lay down, trying to get comfortable on his back. He ached to sleep on his side like he usually did, but he was electrically aware of Kili next to him which posed an obvious problem: if he faced him, Kili might think he was being pushy; if he turned his back on Kili, Kili might think him cold. Neither was ideal.

 

“You need curtains,” Kili’s voice suddenly emerged from the darkness.

 

“I do?”

 

“Yes. Those blinds are god-ugly. And they’re white so they let the light in.”

 

Fili opened his eyes, and sure enough, hovering in the blackness where the window was, there was a distinct square halo shining from the security light outside. He didn’t know Kili was so sensitive about light when he was trying to sleep.

 

“… I can try and pin a towel over it?”

 

“Oh no, please don’t.” Kili’s voice sounded guilty. “I meant… sometime. Not now.”

 

“Okay,” Fili whispered, reaching out in the vague darkness until his hand brushed Kili’s. Kili raised his arm off the bed but by the time he could entwine his fingers with Fili’s, Fili’s hand had gone.

 

“Night-night,” Kili whispered.

 

“Sleep well,” Fili whispered back.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turkana is a region in Kenya which is mentioned in the book The Constant Gardener (a great story, watch the film if you don’t have time to read the book!)


	11. The Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if anyone remembers the pillowcase thing I mentioned in the first chapter… I think I was intending to make it more of a thing, but I kindof forgot about it :p
> 
> Pole pole – pronounced ‘po-lay po-lay’ – means ‘slowly-slowly’ and is used also to mean ‘relax’ or ‘chill'

When they woke up late next morning Fili was on his side, facing Kili; Kili was flat on his stomach, elbows bent around his head and looking dead to the world. He had shifted closer and Fili could smell his hair, messy and covering the half of his face that wasn’t buried in his pillow; not fresh after twenty-four hours of travelling, but traces of his shampoo still wafted into Fili’s nostrils. One tangled chocolate-brown lock quivered from where it was laid over his mouth, in time with his heavy breathing.

 

He got out of bed, trying hard not to disturb the zombie next to him, but suddenly a loud thumping of the roof made them both jump. Kili jerked awake, blinking stupidly a few times before squinting into the bright light around him.  

 

“What the hell was that?” he demanded, the urgency of his tone ruined by the croak of his voice.

 

“It’s the monkeys. I told you they’re annoying.”

 

“You never said they were so _noisy_.” Kili listened to the sound of the monkeys feet battering on the corrugated iron roof.

 

Fili stretched and stood up, deliberately looking anywhere but at Kili or the bed they had just shared.

 

“You mind cereal and toast for breakfast?”

 

“That’s fine,” Kili yawned. He waited til Fili was out of the room before throwing the sheets off himself and standing up, trying to calm the tent in his pants, which had unfortunately decided to make its presence known. It had had nothing to do with Fili ( _Nothing!_ Kili emphasised, cheeks turning pink), it was just part of being male and having man hormones. He’d been a bit risky, deciding to sleep in Fili’s bed (even though nothing had happened of course) on their first night together and he’d completely forgotten this rather unfortunate and awkward part of mornings.

 

When he had finally composed himself and followed Fili to the kitchen, he was thoroughly unsurprised to see Fili with one of his usual kikois slung over his boxers, already eating.

 

“Help yourself,” he garbled around a mouthful of toast and marmalade.

 

“Got much to do today?” Kili asked pleasantly, attempting to decide between Weetabix and cornflakes, ultimately choosing not to compromise and pouring a hefty serving of each into his bowl.

 

“Not much, just a few errands. You?”

 

“Unpacking, I guess. At two I need to be somewhere to meet my new boss. I’m starting on Wednesday.”

 

“Ah. You need a lift?”

 

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll get a taxi.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Fili’s heart was beating fast as he scraped the remnants of his toast into the bin and laid his plate in the sink.

 

“We should go out tonight,” he said airily as he let the water run, waiting for it to heat up. “I haven’t got much food… or furniture.” Fili wasn’t sure where this weird blasé persona had come from, whose nonchalance seemed almost aloof.

 

“That sounds good,” Kili replied passively.

 

“Maybe the Muthaiga club? You’ve never been.”

 

“I’d love to go.”

 

Fili turned and saw Kili bent over his bowl, a small smile on his face. He wasn’t entirely sure it was from his words rather than the bowl of food in front of him, but he was prepared to bet it was the former. Hardly believing his daring, he leaned over and stole a cornflake from Kili’s bowl. The look of outrage he received had him laughing out loud.

 

That broke the tension, and finally they were back to chatting like old friends. They returned to the bedroom, and Kili crouched down to open his suitcase for the first time.

 

“I didn’t bring much household stuff,” he told Fili. “We have to do a house-shop soon, this place is looking _bare_!”

 

“Yeah. You may have a point.” Fili craned his head and peered into Kili’s overstuffed suitcase, still bearing its stigmatising ‘OVERWEIGHT’ sticker. “Kili!”

 

“What?” Kili replied defensively, hunching over to hide the vast amounts of wagon-wheels and penguins crammed into every available space in the suitcase. “A man’s gotta eat!”

 

“You can get biscuits here too,” Fili reminded him, giving him a punch on the arm.

 

It was only after he’d started to unpack that Kili realised he’d left his favourite pillowcase behind. But he didn’t seem to care.

 

……

 

Fili was still fretting over what he should wear when he heard the front door slam and Kili’s distinctive footsteps heading towards the bedroom. He hastily threw on a shirt over the pair of smart trousers he had decided on, and tried to look chilled and not as if he had spent the better part of the last twenty minutes ransacking his wardrobe when Kili strode in.

 

“Fili, it went so well, I – oh, you look nice.”

 

“It’s a posh place, you’ll need to dress up,” Fili told him. Kili appraised him, looking impressed.

 

“You look really nice.”

 

Fili glanced in the mirror and saw he had picked a dark blue shirt that his mother had bought him a while ago – he had never worn it with this particular pair of slate-grey chinos before, but if Kili liked it, then hell, it was staying. He smiled.

 

“Help yourself to any clothes if you need them. Remember, it’s pretty posh.” He left the room to do something about his hair in the bathroom, trying to stop the buzzing feeling that had arisen in him like a daft adolescent at Kili’s compliment.

 

Kili, it turned out, scrubbed up nicely as well, in a white shirt and dinner jacket of Fili’s that had a colourful inner lining made from traditional Kenyan kanga fabric. The drive to the Club wasn’t long, ten minutes through lush green neighbourhoods with quaint houses and cottages peeking out from behind wild bougainvillea hedges, electric fences and razorwire-topped gates.

 

“This area is called Muthaiga,” Fili told him. “A lot of the houses up here were built by colonial families. This is one of the nicest parts of the city, apart from Karen, I guess.”

 

They pulled up to an ostentatious looking gate manned by four or five guards. They asked Fili a few questions, then let them in, driving past a huge building with pillars, white-framed windows and ivy crawling up the pink-painted walls.

 

“That’s the club. Those are the rooms; people who live upcountry like my dad stay here when they come to Nairobi.”

 

They got out and walked to the entrance. Fili had been right, Kili thought, watching the other people he could see milling around the lobby, all of whom were smartly-dressed, while Fili asked the head waiter for a table for two.

 

“Aren’t we eating?” he asked as Fili steered them towards the bar, hundreds of bottles of the poshest liquors he’d ever seen gleaming on lit-up glass shelves behind it.

 

“Yes, they’ll let us know when our table’s ready.” Kili wasn’t familiar with this set-up; in his experience, when you went to a restaurant, you walked up to the nearest free table and simply ordered. He wasn’t quite used to having waiters waiting on him hand and foot, being _called_ when your table was ready.

 

“Didn’t you say you had an exhibition up here?”

 

“Mm-hm.” Fili turned to the bartender. “Do you like red or white?”

 

“Stop trying to distract me,” Kili teased. “I want to see it.”

 

Fili accepted two glasses and pushed one into Kili’s hand. “If you’re not a fan of red, that’s your own fault for ignoring my question. And if you really want to see it, it’s in one of the rooms off here…” Fili gestured him to follow.

 

Fili led him outside and past a glowing swimming pool through a glass door to one of the exhibition rooms, wood-panelled walls lined with photos.

 

“My dad has lots of contacts here so it wasn’t too difficult to ask them for a spot. One of the only things my dad is good for.” Fili scowled, but Kili missed it, too busy staring at Fili’s photos. They looked even better than they had done the first time he had seen them, up in Fili’s bedroom at Naivasha.

 

“These are great, Fee,” he said softly, smiling.

 

Fili smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head.

 

“You shouldn’t be so shy about them,” Kili chided. “They’re really good.”

 

“Thanks.” He grinned, almost in spite of himself.

 

Kili thought he looked so adorable he was on the brink of going over and kissing him stupid before: “Mr Baggins?” A waiter peered around the door and inclined his head politely. “Your table is ready.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Kili walked into the dining room and immediately felt intimidated. The arched ceiling, the stark white tablecloths, the wooden chairs so highly varnished he could have checked his own reflection in them, the sumptuously upholstered chairs and the expensive-looking plants, the antique vases and rich curtains: all of them made him feel intensely scruffy. He felt particularly conscious of his shoes, unpolished and a little scuffed, and his hair, brushed nicely but nonetheless loose around his ears and probably all over the place. His nerves were only made worse when Fili was immediately heralded by a group of people at a table across the room, diamonds glinting on the men’s cufflinks and pearls dripping from the women’s ears.

 

Kili fixed a smile on his face as Fili introduced him (he forgot all their names almost instantly) and let his mind wander to the butterflies in his stomach as Fili made small-talk about colonial rich-people things, like horses and golf and balloon safaris. It was hard to believe in this atmosphere, where Fili clearly felt completely at home, that Fili had ever made fun of his hunter wellies and barbour jackets in England. The nerve…

 

He was brought abruptly down to earth when the ruddy-faced man with a waxed moustache suddenly asked him a question.

 

“Do you play golf?”

 

Kili was startled by the absurdity of the question. “Ah, no,” he replied politely.

 

“Polo?”

 

Kili wanted to laugh out loud. “No,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t display any of the mirth he felt bubbling inside him. “I don’t know how to ride, I’m afraid.”

 

The man looked puzzled, but turned back to Fili. “So Philip, I must ask you how the rose farm is doing – next time you go up there, please send my best regards to your dear uncle. Also, I’ve got a nephew from England coming out on his gap year in July, I was wondering if you could be a _star_ and set him up with something…”

 

After a few more minutes, Fili excused them and they made their way to their table, mercifully hidden from view by an intricately carved room divider. Kili allowed the grin he’d been trying to suppress for the last few minutes erupt over his face.

 

“If you want to learn how to play golf, I could teach you. There’s a golf club next door.” Fili looked at him confusedly. “What?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

A waiter appeared with two more glasses of wine and two leather-bound folders.

 

“Go crazy,” Fili grinned, noting how Kili’s eyes widened at the menu - oysters and duck and truffles and porcini mushrooms…

 

……

 

“So, what was your favourite part of the meal?”

 

Kili scrunched up his face and thought: it was a tough tie between his steak with asparagus and truffle sauce and the various sweet treats he had picked up from the dessert trolley (needless to say, he had gone back to the dessert trolley for seconds). But then again, the risotto with porcini mushrooms and pancetta Fili had ordered (which Kili had sampled when Fili was in the bathroom) was also a strong contender. The room itself had also been stunning, when Kili had had enough wine to feel appreciative instead of intimidated. But really, he knew the answer.

 

“Being with you,” he said quietly.

 

It wasn’t the answer Fili was expecting. His eyes widened a little but stayed glued on the road. After a few moments he stretched out his left hand and Kili took it.

 

The automatic security light blinked on as they pulled up to the bungalow. Kili grabbed Fili’s hand again as they walked up to the front door.

 

“Isn’t this the bit where we’d kiss on a normal date?” Kili asked.

 

“Yes, but you’re living with me. So I think we can wait til we get somewhere more comfortable.”

 

Inside, Kili collapsed onto the purple sofa. “You’re right, it is comfy,” Kili mused aloud as Fili sat down next to him. Kili kicked off his shoes and wound his arms around Fili’s side, cuddling into him. Fili dragged his fingers through Kili’s hair.

 

They lay there, nestled together, not saying anything for a while. They could have cut the tension with a toothpick, Fili pondered. Finally he shifted, pulling Kili up with him. “I’ll do it then,” he said, and pressed his lips to Kili’s.

 

“Romantic, you are,” Kili huffed, but Fili didn’t let him talk anymore. Kili didn’t mind a bit. He didn’t mind when Fili laid back, pulling him on top of him, or when he started pushing Kili’s jacket off his shoulders. He eagerly returned the favour, but when he went for the buttons on Fili’s shirt, Fili’s hands stilled him.

 

“Do you – we should go easy,” he murmured.

 

Kili was about to point out that they were already living together, which hardly counted as _going easy,_ but refrained from being facetious for the moment. “ _Pole pole_ ,” he whispered and Fili’s smile mimicked his own as their lips connected again. It was good, better than good, living up to all his wild daydreams and dazed fantasies. They snuggled into the sofa again, the late hour and the wine catching up with them and Kili thought his heart could burst with happiness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoyed!! as always, i love all your feedback/comments/anything you've got to give! Xxxx


	12. The Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its Fili's birthday and Kili throws him a surprise party...
> 
> .. in which we meet lots of new characters, some of whom may sound familiar :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will admit it - this chapter is fluffy. so fluffy. and I'm still not fully happy with it, but hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> thank you to everyone who's commented and special thanks to Ann+Rossin for the suggestion! inspiration can be hard to come by so i'd love to hear any ideas y'all have! i'm also thinking of starting a side-story for some of the bits and pieces that i don't think will quite fit in the main story - thoughts??

 

“C’mon, Ori _, please_ ,” Kili pleaded.

 

Ori (“ _Orian!_ ” he reminded Kili countless times, to apparently no avail) sighed and rolled his eyes. “He’s _your_ boyfriend Kili, don’t you think it’s cheating if you ask me to cook for you?”

 

“But it’s his birthday,” Kili whined. “And I want to do something nice. He says he doesn’t want anything, but I bet he always does that, and I don’t want to take him out for dinner because that’s too predictable.”

 

“So your solution is ask _me_ to come over and help you cook?”

 

“If you knew what disasters happened with me in the kitchen, you wouldn’t think it’s such an unreasonable request.”

 

Noreen huffed. “For God’s sake! Ori if you don’t do it, so help me god _I’ll_ do it just to make you both shut up!”

 

Kili beamed “Nori, you’re the best!”

 

“No problem,” she groused. She looked daggers at Ori, who quailed. “Some friend you are.”

 

“I’m not good at cooking either,” Ori mumbled, though everyone knew that wasn’t true – he had worked in a bakery before he’d decided he’d rather go into NGO work and moved out here. Indeed, his ‘Beginning-of-the-week Brownies’ were the only part of Mondays that were bearable.

 

“Why don’t you throw him a party?” Ori asked thoughtfully.

 

Kili’s eyes widened. “That’s a _brilliant_ idea!”

 

Ori looked surprised. “Is it?”

 

“Yes!”

 

It had been a fantastic two months. Kili enjoyed his work more than he’d even dreamed he would; he’d met lots of new friends, including fellow intern Ori, the closet genius, and rambunctious Noreen, his mentor, who, having worked for UNEP for five years now, had taken the two interns under her wing. He and Ori were the general factotums of the office, most of their existence consisting of running around doing errands for more important people. While he enjoyed dressing up in a suit to go to the office every day (there was no feeling like the smugness that came from being able to work a photocopy machine like a pro), he was itching to get down to some more hands-on fieldwork after Christmas.

 

At home, he and Fili had fallen into life together as if they’d been born for it. Apart from the times Fili had to go away for a few days or a week to do safaris, they’d spent almost every waking and sleeping minute together. It was his birthday in a week’s time, and Kili had been dying to do something special; a surprise party sounded like exactly what he needed.

 

Kili’s beam suddenly fell short. “Except that I don’t know any of his friends.” He waved that thought off – he could easily wheedle those details out of Fili later – and began chattering with the others about their plans for the weekend, shutting up abruptly and pretending to be busy when their boss sauntered suspiciously into the room.

……

 

“What do you want for your birthday?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Filiiii, don’t be like that.”

 

Fili turned reproachful blue eyes on him. “Like what?”

 

“Everyone loves birthdays.”

 

“I don’t. Why should I celebrate getting older? This year, I’ll be twenty-seven. In three years, I’ll be thirty.”

 

“Thirty isn’t the end of the world,” Kili told him, head-butting him in the arm. He swivelled his body around from where they were sitting on the sofa together, hanging his legs off the arm while he pillowed his head in Fili’s lap. “How about.. we get together with some friends and go out for dinner or something?”

 

“Nah. I want to stay in.”

 

“Alright, we can stay in. Who do you want to invite?”

 

“No one.”

 

It seemed his efforts to wheedle the names of Fili’s friends out of him were doomed. “Seriously though. Who do you want to see?”

 

“Stop being annoying.”

 

“Come _on_!” Kili groaned, lifting his head and thumping it back down on Fili’s lap in frustration. Fili’s sudden intake of breath had him cocking his head to the side and Fili gasped again. The edges of Kili’s lips quirked inevitably upwards in a wicked smile.

 

“Am I bothering you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Mm-hm.”

 

Kili shifted his head again, rubbing it gently around a very certain spot and Fili’s thighs suddenly tensed beneath him. Kili’s grin grew wider.

 

“Are you sure you’re sure?”

 

“Positive,” Fili gasped.

 

Kili rolled over slowly and coursed his hands along Fili’s thighs. He slowly turned his head and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the crotch of Fili’s jeans.

 

Kili didn’t think he’d ever seen Fili move so fast as Fili crushed their mouths together and yanked him to their bedroom.

 

……

 

Given that Kili’s attempts to get the names of his friends out Fili had failed so spectacularly (well, he’d been successful, but in quite a different way), there was only one option left.

 

“H’llo?”

 

“Hey… Bard.”

 

“Hi. Uh – who is this?”

 

“This is Kili.”

 

“Kili… oh yeah. Fili’s friend, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

Kili cleared his throat awkwardly. He’d only met Bard once – when Fili had decided that, much as he loved Kili, they were both getting cabin fever cooped up in the house in eachothers’ loving arms, and they’d gone out for a drink with an old school friend of his. Bard had turned up with eyes the colour of strawberries and a dopey expression on his face that left no mystery to what he had been doing just before he arrived. Kili hadn’t disliked him, but they hadn’t exactly warmed to eachother and he’d felt awkward all night; he had been surprised to hear that _this_ was one of Fili’s best and oldest friends, though his surprise had ebbed as he saw how well they seemed to get along.  

 

He decided to get straight to the point. “It’s Fili’s birthday soon and I wanted to throw him a surprise party.”

 

“Oh. That’s pretty cool.”

 

“Yeah.” Kili heard a slow, drawn out intake of breath and faltered over his words. “Are – are you smoking?”

 

“Yeah. So?” Kili was baffled for a second but Bard saved him the need for comment as he continued. “This party then? M’I invited?”

 

“Uh, yeah, of course. But the thing is, I don’t really know who else to invite. I don’t really know any of Fili’s friends.”

 

“Okay…” Kili could hear the cogs of Bard’s brain working sluggishly as he pieced the conversation together. “So… you want me to call some people?”

 

“That would be great.” He told him the date and time and when he hung up the phone, Kili found he was nervous. He’d made his own friends at work, but apart from Bard, he hadn’t met any of Fili’s. While he normally loved meeting new people, the thought of meeting Fili’s friends, most of whom would have known him since they were toddlers, terrified him just a little.

 

……

 

The plan was such: Fili went into work on Tuesdays. So it was lucky that his birthday was on a Wednesday – on Tuesday, Kili would call him and try to delay his return by asking him to go shopping before he came back, giving people enough time to arrive from their own work and sneak into the house. Then, at around seven o’ clock, Fili would return, to have hoards of his friends pop out and surprise him. The cake would be served at midnight, and then everyone would go home.

 

It was a simple plan, Kili thought, but it was surprising how some people didn’t seem to get it. Including the ever-oblivious Fili.

 

“ _Frankfurters? Kili, what the hell is this shopping list, we do not need frankfurters!_ ” Fili moaned from the other end of the phone.

 

“Yes we do, I like them,” Kili retorted, hastily covering the microphone as more people banged through the front door. The house was filling rapidly.

 

“ _What was that?_ ”

 

“Huh? What? Oh that was just… Noreen. Stapling something. Rather enthusiastically.”

 

Fili had evidently gone back to perusing the list. “ _Bread, beer… Wine? Are we out of wine?”_

 

“Uh, I guess so. I wrote it on the list didn’t I?”

 

“ _Can’t you check? Aren’t you at the house?”_

_“_ No, I’m – stuck in traffic,” Kili invented. The surprise would be better if he thought no one was at home at all when he arrived.

 

“ _And Cheetos? Cheetos?! I’ll buy crisps, but you should know I am NOT allowing Cheetos over my threshold…”_

 

Kili heard the sound of another car, made his excuses and hung up.

 

The small living room was now buzzing with people: Fili had a lot of friends. Bard had been among the first to arrive, with a woman called Magdalene, who had taken to Kili at once. She was tanned with long dark hair and sparkling eyes; Kili liked her immediately, and was grateful to her for taking it upon herself to introduce him to all the guests as they arrived.

 

“Can you remind people to park their cars out back so Fili doesn’t see them when he comes in?” he asked her, who nodded just as his phone began ringing again. Glancing at the screen, he saw it was Fili and hastily ducked into the next room.

 

“ _Hey, do you want me to pick up pizza?”_

 

“No, it’ll be fine, we have enough food.”

 

“ _But I don’t feel like cooking_.”

 

“Nah, really, it’ll be good, I’ll fish something out of the freezer.”

 

“ _Ok_. _FUCK YOU!”_ he suddenly shouted, and Kili heard the sounds of tooting on the other end of the line.

 

“Are you driving?” Kili demanded, panicked.

 

“ _Yes. Asshole nearly swerved into me!”_

 

“I’m not surprised, you’re on your phone!” Kili retorted, heart starting to hammer. “Get off the phone! Are you on your way home?”

 

“ _Yes_.”

 

“Okay, Fili, I’ve got to go,” he said, trying not to sound breathless. “I’ll see you later, bye!”

 

As soon as he was sure the phone had disconnected he ran into the living room, where people had already started cracking open beers and catching up, loud laughter and chatter almost drowning out his voice as he made his announcement.

 

“Everyone!” he shouted over the noise. “Fili’s on his way _now_!”

 

“Turn off the lights, everyone get into position!” Magdalene yelled.

 

The lights went out but the low roar of conversation continued. Kili attempted shushing the crowd; Magdalene had more success as she bellowed “QUIET!”

 

The room, at last fell silent, apart from the occasional spurt of titters or the clink of a bottle against something.

 

“How long –“ Bard began but just as he started speaking, they heard the rumble of an engine outside. Someone began giggling uncontrollably. “ _Shh_!” several people insisted.

 

“It won’t actually be a surprise if everyone doesn’t shut up!” Kili hissed.

 

The sound of a car door opening, then closing. The sound of something heavy being put down outside the front door and the jingle of keys. Kili waited with bated breath.

 

Fili’s silhouette appeared against the hazy lilac of the falling twilight, and he reached to click on a lamp.

 

The sheer force of the yell that greeted him as he clicked on the light made him stumble backwards and sent the shopping bag in his hand flying.

 

“JESUS!” he cursed. “I thought I was being fucking _burgled_!”

 

The look of terror hadn’t completely vanished from his eyes as people began showering him with greetings and shoving presents in his hands. Several hugs later he seemed recovered, and he found Kili in the kitchen, having retrieved the wayward shopping bag and starting to unpack it. The bottles of wine and six-packs of beer he had bought less than an hour ago were already on a table in the living room, being rapidly depleted.

 

“You had me shopping for my own party?” he said accusingly as Kili pulled out several packets of crisps and began decanting them into bowls.

 

“Mhm.Shame about the Cheetos though.” Kili gave him a grin. “Don’t kill me. I know you said you didn’t want a party but I strongly suspect you didn’t mean it.”

 

“Maybe,” Fili allowed, pulling Kili into a hug. “I love you.”

 

It was the first time either of them had said it. They froze for a second, relishing the moment.

 

“I love you too,” Kili replied quietly, wrapping his arms around Fili’s waist and pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “Now go see your guests. Some of them say they haven’t seen you for ages!”

 

Kili watched Fili catching up with his old pals and even did some socialising of his own. Possibly due to the fact that everyone was getting speedily tipsier by the second, Fili’s friends were extremely friendly. Some of them were practically family, others he had known from school, and others were people he worked or had worked with. They made him laugh with tales about the bush, Nairobi life and the old Fili (Fili at fifteen had dreadlocks and a _tongue piercing!_ Kili’s heart skipped a beat). They were very different from the people he’d met in his own NGO scene, but he liked them nonetheless. Bard and a few others disappeared for about fifteen minutes into the dark garden, returning very giggly, and fervently falling upon the crackers and dip.

 

Fili caught up with Kili a while later, an empty wine glass dangling from his fingers.

 

“You need a refill,” Kili declared, grabbing a bottle.

 

“I’ve lost count of the number of times it has been refilled,” he admitted, smiling. “How are you doing? You could have invited some of your friends, you know.”

 

“I’m fine!” Kili beamed. “I can’t believe I was so scared to meet them. They’re lovely.”

 

“You’re daft,” Fili giggled. He kissed Kili on the cheek. “Still. I like your friends too.”

 

“You do?!”

 

“Yeah. How come they’re not here?”

 

“It’s your party.”

 

“Call Orian. See if he and Noreen are free, tell them to come over.”

 

“Okay.” Fili gave Kili a happy kiss and Kili went outside to make his phone call. Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang, revealing Ori and Noreen, clutching a bottle of champagne between them.

 

“Happy birthday Phil!”

 

“You’re just in time,” Kili told them. “We’re just about to do the cake.” As he said it, the lights clicked off and everyone’s voices began chanting “ _Happy Birthday to_ you…” and Magdalene emerged from the kitchen, a laden tray in her hands, the blazing candles on the cake casting an orange glow on Fili’s face as he beamed.

 

The cake was cut, the various bottles of bubbly people brought shared out. Soon birthday cards dotted the mantelpiece and Fili, after about a minute’s persuasion, tore open his presents, thanking everyone and laughing at some of the things he received.

 

“Really Bard? A mankini?”

 

Bard chuckled dazedly around his third piece of cake. “Gag gifts are funny.”

 

It was another few hours, and amidst groans of “I’ve got _work_ tomorrow!” the last of the guests finally filtered out of the door. Fili opened the gate for them, waved them all off, and returned to the bungalow, closing the front door behind him. The house was oddly quiet, apart from the background noise of an iPod on the speakers, turned down low, and a chinking of glass.

 

Fili followed the sound into the living room and saw Kili was gathering the various beer bottles and wine glasses scattered around the room.

 

“Can’t that wait til morning?” Fili yawned, rubbing his face tiredly.

 

“I suppose,” Kili consented, dropping the bottles in his hand into a cardboard box to be taken to the bottle bank tomorrow. He smiled as Fili made his way over to him, wrapped his arms around his middle and started nuzzling his neck.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“Really. Thank you. I had such a nice time.”

 

“Good.” Fili’s kisses weren’t quite so coordinated when he was drunk, his lips were a little fumbly, but Kili just thought he was adorable. “Guess what?”

 

“Do I actually have to guess or can you just tell me?”

 

“We’re going to Naivasha this weekend. Bilbo says he wants to celebrate with you too.”

 

“Aw.” Fili’s grin was tipsy but genuine. “That’ll be nice.”

 

“Yeah. We haven’t seen him since I got here!”

 

“Mm. He loves you. And Frodo loves you. And Tauriel loves you. And I love you most of all.” He tried to nose his way into a kiss but Kili’s laughter stopped him.

 

“I’ve never heard you be so sappy. In fact, I’ve never heard _anyone_ be so sappy –“

 

“Shut up, birthday boy wants a kiss.”

 

Kili complied, then tugged on Fili’s wrist. “I didn’t show you my present yet.”

 

“Mm, I like the sound of this,” Fili said with a leer as Kili pulled him to their bedroom. He stopped short in the doorway, staring. “Aw, you bought a bed!”

 

“Isn’t it nice?” Kili beamed, going to sit on it and bouncing a little on the mattress. “I got it from one of the carvers on the side of the street.”

 

“Oh Kee…” Fili sighed. He admired the bedframe – it was made of ebony wood and carved with various animals and spiky designs. It was very attractive.

 

“I was going to buy a bed eventually,” he said guiltily, making his way over to sit down next to Kili.

 

“It’s my house too. And I wasn’t sure when you’d have the time. And I was kindof sick of sleeping on mattress on the floor – I know the Japanese do it but it’s not for me.”

 

“Thank you. I love it.”

 

“Happy birthday. I love you.”

 

Kili finished his sentence with another kiss, one that eventually had them migrating to a horizontal position. They were both too drunk to do much, and began giggling when their teeth started clacking, Kili laughing harder as Fili struggled with the buttons on his shirt.

 

“Maybe we should leave the rest of this for another time,” Kili managed to utter between his giggles.

 

“Maybe. Maybe tomorrow. Sometime soon,” Fili breathed. Kili felt the hairs on his neck stand on end slightly.

 

Fili abandoned his mission and rolled onto his back, entwining their fingers.

 

“You were great, for making such an effort with my friends. I can tell they really liked you.”

 

“That’s a relief,” Kili sighed.

 

“You’re so hot.”

 

Kili laughed abruptly. “That came out of the blue.”

 

“I mean it. When you’re talking about your work, your passions… it’s really sexy. You’re so clever. I adore that in you.”

 

Kili could feel his face colouring. “Thanks,” he mumbled, then continued in a lighter tone of voice. “It’s your birthday, aren’t I supposed to be complimenting you?”

 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Kili.”

 

“You know what I said before? About the sappy thing? Well _that_ just trumped it.”

 

“You can’t take a compliment.”

 

“You’re one to talk.”

 

“I still love you, though.”

 

“I love you more.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this chapter somehow got much longer that i thought...


	13. Naivasha Again/The Unlucky Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend after Fili's birthday, they go to Naivasha again. Although it may not be as idyllic an experience as the first time... 
> 
> extra long chapter, hope you all enjoy! and apologies for the title - i can't think of anything that wouldn't give too many hints away..
> 
>  
> 
> **UPDATED: ooh! just noticed the chapter is 13! INSPIRATION STRIKES 
> 
> new chapter title - Chapter 13: The Unlucky Number
> 
> (let's assume the birthday was on the 10th... which would make this happen on the 13th :) still a saturday, not a friday, but oh well)
> 
> ... sorry if all of that makes no sense!

 

“Fili, wake up. I made coffee.”

 

The lump in the bed made no sound. Kili pushed Fili’s shoulder. “ _Fiiiliiiii_. Wake up.”

 

There was still no reply.

 

“You know, for someone who does safaris for a living, you’re not really a morning person.”

 

Fili’s fingers twitched. He bent his arm, bringing his hand up to rest under his cheek. His eyes stayed firmly shut.

 

Kili set the two mugs of coffee on the bedside table and pushed at Fili’s shoulder until he rolled onto his back. Kili couldn’t help himself  - he wound his arms around Fili and buried his nose in his hair, kissing down his neck and collarbone softly.

 

Fili finally stirred. His arms came to life and they curled around Kili’s narrow frame, tracing lightly over his bare back.

 

Their eyes met and they both smiled, remembering.

 

“How long has that been waiting to happen?” Kili murmured.

 

“Long,” Fili replied. He kissed him, neither of them caring that their mouths were probably hot and sticky; even with the morning breath, it was perfect. Kili detached his lips just long enough to whisper in Fili’s ear.

 

“Tonight,” Kili breathed. “My turn.”

 

“Mmm,” Fili agreed softly. “I’ll look forward to that.” He trailed a hand down Kili’s back, teasing gently over his hips and the swells of his backside. He settled his hands on the tops of Kili’s thighs, massaging ever so slightly.

 

“Don’t get too comfy,” Kili murmured into his neck. “We have to go soon.”

 

“Mm,” Fili sighed again. He regretfully pulled his hands up, cupped Kili’s face and kissed him. “Did you say you made coffee?”

 

“You _could_ hear me!” Kili cried accusingly, but his outrage melted at the cheeky look on Fili’s face, a look that made him forget the coffee and kiss him soundly, pushing him back into the pillows.

 

……

 

After a later start to the journey than either of them had expected, they finally arrived at Bilbo’s at around two in the afternoon.

 

“Hey Arnold!”

 

The dog, no longer a puppy, wagged her tail in greeting. “She’s grown so _big_ ,” Kili marvelled.

 

Fili looked at Bilbo guiltily. “I _promise_ I’ll take her back this weekend, the house is sorted enough now. I had to fill in some of the holes in the fence, I was worried she’d run off –“

 

“Don’t mention it, all three of you are always welcome here,” Bilbo cut him off, giving Kili a warm hug in greeting. “Hello, my dear boy, so good to see you!”

 

Another dog, almost identical to Arnold, ran up to them, barking.

 

“Oh _shush_! He’s so badly behaved. He’s called Piglet.”Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Bit of a daft name, I let Frodo decide, evidently a mistake! He reads too much _Winnie the Pooh_ , at first he wanted to name it Pooh-bear!”

 

Kili was about to tell Bilbo how Arnold got her name and how Precious got his, but decided against when Fili shot him a threatening look, promising vile retribution if he did.

 

Over the inevitable afternoon tea, they regaled Bilbo with stories about their new house, insisting he should come and visit soon. Bilbo was also very interested in hearing about Kili’s new job, almost as excited as Kili was to tell him about it.

 

“Well, I think what you’re doing is wonderful,” Bilbo finally interrupted him, beaming. “Time for dinner, I believe! Where’s Fili?”

 

Kili grinned. “Frodo dragged him off somewhere. They’ve been gone for about an hour.”

 

“I dread to think,” Bilbo muttered and Kili laughed.

 

He helped Bilbo warm up dinner and laid the table as Bilbo stood at the bottom of the stairs and yelled for Fili and Frodo to come down. Kili had to stifle his giggles at the morbid expression on Fili’s face as he was dragged into the dining room.

 

“Oh…” By the slight quaver in Bilbo’s voice, he, like Kili, was fighting the urge to laugh. “That’s… lovely Frodo. Have you been playing with your face-paints?”

 

“Yes!” Frodo cried happily.

 

“And… what is Fili supposed to be?”

 

“A cow, silly.”

 

“Of course, silly daddy.”

 

“And I’m a lion!” he cried, baring his teeth ferociously.

 

“Don’t say anything,” Fili growled as he sat down next in a chair next to Kili and started piling peas onto his plate. Kili didn’t trust himself to reply.

 

……

 

Every time Fili kissed him, Kili felt as if the bottom of his stomach had dropped out,filled with a swooping sensation like turbulence or rollercoasters. It sounded immensely cheesy even inside his own head, but it was true. Every time his lids slid shut and his mouth met Fili’s, his mind blacked out for a second before he opened his eyes again and re-anchored himself in the cerulean orbs inches from his own, deep and blue like the sea, so much hidden in those inexorable depths that he wanted to know. Fili’s lips were addictive, one kiss was never enough, it could go on forever…

 

Until Fili would jam his fingers into Kili’s sides and tickle him so violently Kili would jerk away from him, limbs flailing.

 

“Get off, Fili, get off, you’re so mean… OW!”

 

Fili howled at Kili, glaring up at him from the floor. “Stop laughing, I fell off the bed you prat!”

 

Kili got grumpily to his feet and sat back on the bed, wrapping himself in the duvet for protection.

 

“Sorry, diddums.” Fili adopted a sorrowful expression and Kili groaned, before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

 

“It doesn’t even tickle, it just hurts. Your fingers are hard.”

 

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard…”

 

“That’s enough, Fili.” A thought suddenly struck him. “I wonder…” he said aloud with the air of contemplating something deep before he lunged across the bed at Fili, pinning his elbows down with his knees as he burrowed his fingers into Fili’s armpits.

 

“OH JESUS, STOP, AH, GET OFF, AH-HAHAHA!”

 

“HA!” Kili cried triumphantly. Fili took advantage of his brief second’s respite to throw Kili off him and dash to the landing. Kili leaped to his feet and chased him.

 

He managed to leap onto Fili’s back, taking him down. They wrestled, struggling to tickle eachother to death, squeaking and snorting madly.

 

“Boys!” Bilbo called from downstairs and they both scrambled to their feet.

 

“Yes?”

 

There was a pointed pause. Fili and Kili caught eachother’s eye and almost burst into giggles again – there was no way Bilbo could have not heard the sounds of them thumping and tittering upstairs.

 

“I’m just going to town! I’m taking Frodo with me.”

 

“Okay Bilbo!” Fili shouted back.

 

“I’m going shopping – do you need anything?”  


“Yes! Fili wants constipation tablets and lu –“ Fili clapped a hand over Kili’s mouth before he could embarrass him. “Nothing, thanks Bilbo!”

 

“…Alright then!” They heard Bilbo chuckling as he left the house, closing the front door behind him.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Fili growled as Kili’s mouth worked furiously under his hand. “Ouch!”

 

“I bite, by the way.”

 

“I know that _now_. Constipation tablets? Nice. Really mature.”

 

“You really would think I was mature if you knew what I was going to say after that,” Kili quipped, eyes sparkling with mischief.

 

“I don’t want to know.”

 

They rustled in the cupboards til they found some bread and made toast. After breakfast, they were too lazy to change out of their pyjamas.

 

“What do you want to do?”

 

“Watch a film?” Kili said hopefully, nestling into Fili’s side and rubbing his nose against his arm.

 

“But the weather’s so nice, we should do something outside,” Fili grumbled. Kili pulled out his puppy eyes and Fili sighed, consenting. “What do you want to watch?” He wandered over to the shelf of DVDs next to the television.

 

“I don’t mind.” They pondered the selection before them.

 

“Didn’t you tell me once you hadn’t seen _Out of Africa_?”

 

Kili nodded.

 

“That has to be rectified.” Fili pulled a DVD from the shelf, slotted it into the machine and the swells of John Barry’s glorious soundtrack soon filled the room.

 

“Did you say you knew how to fly one of those?” Kili asked with awe, as Dennis and Karen soared over mountains and valleys in a tiny plane, amidst a romantic symphony.

 

“Of course. I told you, I can do everything.”

 

“Pfft.”

 

By the time the credits rolled, they had migrated into eachother’s arms and were too comfortable lying in a heap to get up and switch the TV off. They so snug cuddling that they were starting to get sleepy again when they were roused by the sound of a car pulling into the drive.

 

“Bilbo’s back,” Fili yawned.

 

The front door opened, then shut. They shuffled into a sitting position on the sofa, stretching languidly, catching one another’s eye and smiling.

 

“And who’s this?”

 

Kili almost jumped out of his skin. The voice was disdainful, accusing, a far cry from Bilbo’s happy trill. Fili’s heart sank as he took in the sight of his father in the doorway to the living room.

 

……

 

Fili had known it was inevitable that Kili would meet his dad eventually, but that didn’t change the fact that he had been dreading it. Dreaded, not worried; he had always known how his dad would react, and sure enough, he didn’t disappoint.

 

“You brought him here to my _house?”_ Randy hissed.

 

“I didn’t realise you’d be back,” Fili replied stoically. They were in the study, Fili leaning against he desk with his arms crossed as his father hissed at him.

 

“How long have you even known this boy?”

 

“Long enough.”

 

“How long have you been here? With _him_?”

 

“He has a name, Dad.”

 

“Fine – with _Kili_ is it?”

 

Kili tried to stifle the hurt of hearing his name uttered like it was vile poison, spat out as if the person saying it thought it would contaminate him if he kept it in his mouth too long. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t resist standing in the corridor outside the barely-ajar door, listening. He had been anxious that Fili’s dad approve of him, like him even despite Fili’s protestations about his father’s warped values and morals; but Kili was starting to realise there was little hope of that ever happening.

 

Randy let out a frustrated sigh. He ran a hand over his greying stubble.

 

“Dad, you knew I was gay, don’t act like this wasn’t going to happen at some point,” Fili snapped. “You’ve met one of my boyfriends, big deal! And good thing he’s not _black_ this time, isn’t it?”

 

Kili flinched at the venom in Fili’s voice.

 

“Fili, son…”

 

“ _Don’t call me that_.” Kili wasn’t sure if he was referring to the nickname or the familial ‘son’.

 

“…Phil.” He sounded almost pained now, though his voice was still angry. “How can you– I mean, don’t you think it’s time to move on from this phase? You’re old enough to -”

 

“Jesus, Dad!”

 

“You don’t even know this boy!”

 

Kili heard the squeak of the desk as Fili pushed himself off it, straightening up to face his father. “You could stop pretending you’re so concerned. I know what the real problem is, I know it makes your skin crawl to think what I _like_ , what I _am_ , what I _do_. It’s clear you just want us out of here, so you know what? We’ll get out of your hair.”

 

Fili stormed out of the door before Kili had a chance to flee upstairs. He froze as took in Kili, also frozen, eyes wide and apologetic. Fili didn’t say anything but kissed him roughly.

 

“Fili,” Kili whispered as he pulled away. He didn’t dare turn to meet Randy’s furious, irate eyes, boring into his back.

 

Fili didn’t say a word but marched down the hall, Kili quickly following. He rustled around for something in the pocket of one of the jackets on the coat-rack, then banged the door open and went outside. Kili caught up with him just as he lodged a cigarette between his teeth and clicked a lighter.

 

“Fili – wh – what are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like?” he muttered nastily. Kili was gobsmacked.

 

“Put – put it away.”

 

Fili didn’t listen, clicked the lighter again, and brought it up to his lips.

 

“Fili, put it out!” Kili wasn’t sure why he was panicking – though he wasn’t a smoker himself, he wouldn’t normally have minded Fili smoking except for one thing. He finally found his voice. “Fili, it’s _him_ who’s making you do this, driving you to it! Stand up for yourself, don’t let him get to you!”

 

Fili glowered at him for a few seconds, then threw the cigarette onto the ground with a snarl.

 

“They’re not mine anyway.They’re _his_.”

 

“Then why do you want one?” Kili asked quietly.

 

Fili regarded him stonily for a few seconds, and Kili glared back boldly. He took a step closer and finally the iciness in Fili’s eyes melted, to be replaced with a look of regret. He wrapped his arms around him.

 

“Sorry… your dad, cancer… I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s not that,” Kili insisted. He snorted. “He had pancreatic cancer, you idiot, and he didn’t smoke. I don’t want you doing anything because _he_ drove you into it.”

 

Fili’s hands were shaking as he buried one in Kili’s hair, clutching at it. “He just… makes me so angry,” he said in a quivering voice.

 

“I know.” Kili gave him a firm kiss. “Let’s go somewhere. Let’s take a drive.”

 

……

 

When they returned, they saw Randy’s car had gone, and Fili took the opportunity to move their stuff to Bilbo’s house. Bilbo agreed immediately when Fili asked him if they could stay in his spare room for the night, shaking his head sadly and guessing what had happened.

 

“Well, that put a bit of a damper on this evening,” Bilbo murmured to Kili as Fili stomped up the stairs with two suitcases, insisting he didn’t need help. “I had a cake for tonight, but I’m not sure it’s really appropriate now.”

 

“Cake is always appropriate,” Kili assured him hurriedly. “Cake can solve anything.”

 

Fili stayed in a bad mood, turning to morose as the day wore on. Kili, determined not to leave him alone to sulk, followed him down to the garage and offered to hold parts as he worked, chatting persistently even though Fili offered only monotonous mumbled replies in return, his head stuck under Tauriel’s bike for ninety percent of their very one-sided conversation.

 

“You should teach me how to drive,” Kili said cheerily.

 

“Why? You know how to drive.” Fili didn’t sound amused.

 

“Only an automatic. I learned in a car with gears but that was years ago and I can’t remember it.”

 

“Okay.” Fili’s head was still hidden and Kili resisted the urge to kick him to get his attention – trying to converse with him in this mood was like _pulling teeth_.

 

“I thought you were fed up of me taking taxis everywhere anyway.”

 

Fili ignored the bait.

 

Nonetheless, Kili continued happily: “We could go now, before dinner.”

 

“I’m nearly done.” He almost sounded as if he was only speaking to shut Kili up. He finally retracted his head, mouth set in a dull line and wiped his hands clean. “Goddam bike is so rusty. Don’t know why she insists on keeping it at all if all it does is sit here and get old.”

 

“Let’s go,” Kili chanted, cutting across him before he could start ranting, opening the car door and flapping Fili inside.

 

Fili, looking resigned, took them down to a deserted track on the other side of the farm.

 

“It’s not much of a road, but if you’ll be learning how to drive here you’ll need to know how to handle this kind of terrain too.” He opened his door and they swapped sides and clipped in.

 

“Alright,” he began heavily. “Turn it on.”

 

Kili, flushed at his small success as the engine rumbled into life, looked at Fili expectantly.

 

“Let off the handbrake and ease off the clutch – if you do it too fast we’ll –“

 

The car rattled and switched off.

 

“… stall,” Fili sighed.

 

Unperturbed, Kili started again and within twenty minutes was circling around happily, sliding between the gears smoothly. _This isn’t so bad!_ he congratulated himself.

 

“Very good.” Fili gestured towards a road leading to the left. “Let’s go down there.”

 

It was less of a road and more like a bumpy cattle trail, a far cry from the tarmac he was used to in England, but filled with his newfound confidence, Kili faced it bravely, trundling along gathering speed.

 

“Remember, when in doubt go slowly,” Fili reiterated. “ _Slowly,_ Kili, wait, look out, shit _don’t hit that rock!”_

 

There was a hiss and the car visibly slumped as the air whooshed out of the tyre. There was a small silence during which Kili painstakingly turned his eyes, ridden with guilt, to Fili’s face, buried in his hands – only to narrow them incredulously when he saw Fili’s shoulders were shaking with what could only have been laughter.

 

“Looks like I’ll have to teach you how to change a tyre today, too.”

 

“Guess so,” Kili sighed, relief washing through him at the smile back on Fili’s face at last.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He had to come into the story eventually. 
> 
>  
> 
> The Out of Africa scene mentioned: (hint, watch it, it might be important later...)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CKlA15b0Unc#t=99


	14. Asimbonanga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili has an exhibition in town, and both boys realise there's a lot they still don't know about each other..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for anyone following that this chapter is a bit late - this story is still far from over and I have big plans but I'm starting to fall behind and I like to be at least two chapters ahead of myself so I'm afraid I'll have to start updating less frequently. 
> 
> on another note, this was one of the chapters that i wrote and was considering putting in a kind of 'side story' as i wasn't sure where it fitted int he plot line - it doesn't really, but i think it helps for a bit of character development and i hope you all enjoy! as always, all kudos and comments make me squirm with happiness :)   
> Xx

On the opening night, Kili arrived a little late because of work and the abominable traffic. As he walked in the gallery, eyes automatically roving for Fili, he was pleased to notice a good turn-out. He saw Fili, already deep in conversation with several important-looking smartly-dressed people. He raised his eyebrows and waved in greeting, motioning that he would find him later when he was less busy. Fili nodded slightly, and his eyes flicked down to take in his ensemble, a black suit with dark shoes, a few buttons undone on his dark purple shirt. When his eyes met Kili’s again, Kili could see that he was impressed; with a thrill, Kili caught the lust behind the small smile playing around Fili’s lips. Kili grinned and made a show of walking past him, swinging his hips provocatively.

 

Kili accepted a glass of wine from a passing waitress and started surveying the photos on the wall. The exhibition seemed to be split into different sections, the photos from different themes put into different frames to separate them. Kili scanned Fili’s wildlife photos, that spread over an entire wall; most of them he’d seen before, some of them he even recognised as having been there when Fili had taken them, but occasionally he spotted one that was new to him – Fili had told him there would be some surprises. The simple black frames had been artfully chosen, their simplicity not detracting from the action in the picture.

 

Kili wandered to the opposite wall, where he recognised with a warm feeling the white sands of the Kenyan coast. There were several of Tauriel, who Fili had begrudgingly admitted was his muse. Tauriel, naturally, loved to be in front of the camera. The last frame comprised of a succession of images of her running down the beach, wearing a floaty caftan which whirled and swished beautifully around her body as she got smaller and smaller.

 

Kili turned and saw he was wrong, this wasn’t the last picture. He started, swallowing a lot of air with his wine as he stared at the last photo on the wall.

 

It was him.

 

It was in an rough-looking wooden frame made of rustic-looking pockmarked driftwood, adding to the beachy feel. The photo was black and white, and showed mainly his back. Just visible was the top of the kanga he wore slung around his hips. He didn’t face the camera and he leaned against an arched windowsill. Kili recognised as the house as Nyumba Amani, where they had stayed at almost a year ago. He seemed to be taking in the view of the palm trees and the endless turquoise sea before him. His hair was loose and straggly against his bare back. Kili could almost taste the salt on his lips.

 

Behind him, he could hear a woman telling another in a hushed voice (There was no need to whisper, Kili thought, irritated, they were in an art gallery, not a _church_ ): “What a gorgeous picture. I wonder who she is, the caption doesn’t give us a name.”

 

Kili’s eyes flicked to the small white label beneath the picture, where the title and sometimes a few extra details about the work were written. There was just one word on the plaque: _Kilifi_.

 

A memory rose in Kili’s mind:

 

_“Isn’t it funny how the word Kilifi is kindof essentially a merging of our names? Kili and Fili?” Kili howled with laughter._

 

_Fili merely grunted, seemingly unimpressed with Kili’s grand discovery, telling Kili he had had too much sugar for breakfast._

 

Kili’s cheeks felt hot. He heard people chatting in Swahili behind him, he’d been trying to pick it up since he’d come here but he still hardly understood a word, he wondered if they too thought he was a woman. He turned, keeping his face down, wishing he hadn’t left his hair loose, wish he’d tied it back, braided it, cut it off, anything to make him less recognisable. He heard someone else speaking in German, someone speaking in Italian, he’d never been good at languages, maybe they thought it too, maybe they _all_ thought he was a woman, maybe, worse, they _recognised him_.

 

Kili almost barrelled into Fili, his face flaming.

 

“Hey, finally I get to see you!”

 

Before he could say anything, Fili pulled him out of the gallery into a corridor at the back through a door saying ‘Staff Only.’ Fili grabbed Kili in a tight hug.

 

“It’s going so well, Kee,” he breathed excitedly. “I’ve already sold some, and a couple of the people I was talking to want to publish my photos in their magazines, in their books!” His face looked confused when Kili pushed him away.

 

“You – you _prat_ , Fili.”

 

Fili’s expression turned from confused to hurt. “What?”

 

“You – you – you need to ask _permission_ before printing – taking pictures of – about people!”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“That – one. In the frame. It’s not me! Or they don’t think it’s me, or I don’t want to see it there, or it’s just like it used to be, Jesus, Fili you could have asked!” Kili realised he had stopped making sense and he tried to gather his thoughts. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“I said there were going to be surprises,” Fili said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Kili couldn’t look at him. They were silent for a long minute.

 

“What’s wrong?” Fili whispered. He reached out and took Kili’s hand gingerly.

 

“Nothing. It’s – just a shock,” Kili mumbled. He pulled Fili closer and pressed into his chest, letting Fili wrap his arms gratefully around him and hearing his sigh of relief.

 

“You sure?” Fili whispered.

 

“Yeah… tell you later,” Kili mumbled. Fili squeezed him a little tighter.

 

“Someone made an offer on that one,” Fili told him. “But I can tell them it’s not for sale.”

 

“No, sell it,” Kili found himself saying. “It’s fine, really just – a shock.”

 

Fili chuckled ruefully. “So you’re not a fan of surprises. I’ll remember that for next time.”

 

Kili smiled at him gratefully and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before they returned to the throng of Fili’s admirers in the gallery room.

 

….

 

Later that night, they were curled up in bed. Kili hadn’t stayed angry, so they shared lazy kisses over takeaway Chinese eaten in front of the telly, and found they weren’t too tired for some intense kissing and both of them falling apart in eachother’s hands. Afterwards they lay, too hot to pull the sheets over their bare bodies.

 

Fili was intensely glad Kili wasn’t one to hold grudges. He lifted their twined fingers to stroke along Kili’s jaw. He kissed his cheek softly.

 

“You going to tell me what was going on before?” he asked quietly. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask. You could say you’re my new muse.”

 

“It’s fine,” Kili replied automatically. He replayed Fili’s last sentence: _you’re my new muse_. The words gave him a warm fuzzy feeling inside, exacerbating the sleepiness starting to waft into his brain.

 

“Why did you mind so much?” Fili’s voice was soft, tugging at Kili’s consciousness, and something in the back of his head was tugging him too, telling him he should wake up and tell the truth. Kili gave in to the voice, partially if not only to make it shut up and let him sleep.

 

“I’m a bit funny about my body, that’s all,” Kili mumbled.

 

“How come?”

 

“I’m such a skinny bean – I used to think it was just cos I lost loads of weight when my dad died, but I stayed that way… got teased a bit. Kinda stupid, usually it’s the other way round, you get teased if you’re fat.”

 

“Mm?” Fili’s voice encouraged him to go on and Kili let his eyes drift shut as he continued.

 

“They used to tell me I had a body like a girl… stupid tiny waist… but I eat like a pig, you know that. I even joined the rugby team to prove I was a man and get a bit of brawn… with great success as you can tell.” Kili tried to force a laugh, but his voice stuck. “Anyway… I’m a bit sensitive about it. And a couple of people thought the person in the picture was a woman. I heard them.”

 

Kili felt Fili kiss his forehead.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he whispered. “I hope you don’t still feel bad. You know you’re perfect to me.”

 

A sleepy grin spread across Kili’s face. “Thanks. Sorry I got upset.”

 

“You had every right to. Technically, you could sue me for illegally using a photo of you without your permission.”

 

“Hm. Maybe I will.”

 

“Oh. Shit. How much do you want?”

 

“I’ll have to think about it. Will you pay me in kisses and cuddles?”

 

“I can do much better than that…”

 

“Good. You can prove it tomorrow morning by bringing me breakfast in bed and sucking me off while I eat it. And it had better be an unhealthy breakfast.”

 

“… you don’t ask for much do you?” Kili heard the smile in Fili’s voice and pictured the roguish, adoring grin probably spreading across his face.

 

“Shh,” he managed to garble. “Lemme sleep…”

 

……

 

When Kili woke up the next morning, he was alone in bed. He wrapped a kikoi that he found on the floor around himself and followed the smell of cooking to the kitchen, where he saw Fili with a pancake griddle, bacon and maple syrup ready on the side.

 

“You don’t have to, I didn’t mean it!” Kili was about to protest, but then he realised Fili was singing.

 

He had never heard Fili sing before; had a beautiful, rich voice. He made it sound effortless, the low stream of honey words flowing easily from his lips.

 

“ _Asimbonanga_

_Asimbonang’u Mandela thina_

_Laph’ekhona_

_Laph’ehleli khona…”_

 

Kili didn’t recognise the song, nor even the language it was sung in. He thought it might have been a lullaby until the tone of it changed, the words staying similar, but suddenly acquiring a vehemence not present before.

 

“ _Asimbonanga_

_Asimbonan ‘umfowetu thina_

_Laph’ekhona_

_Laph’wafela khona, a witi Hey wena, hey wena_

_Hey wena,_

_Hey wena nawe,_

_Siyofika nini la’ siyakhona, la’ siyahkhona…”_

 

Fili returned to the chorus that Kili had first heard, with the air of restoring peace, resignation.

 

Kili found himself crossing the room, wrapping his arms gently around Fili’s waist. “I didn’t know you could sing,” he said softly.

 

Fili, who had been unaware of his audience, jumped when he first felt Kili’s hands on him. He smirked. “Don’t I know it. It bothered Tory to no end to know the one thing she couldn’t do I was good at. She can’t hold a note to save her life.”

 

“Why are you so talented?” Kili grumbled. “What was that song? It was beautiful.”

 

Fili concentrated on the plate he was arranging as he replied quietly. “It’s about Nelson Mandela and some of the other martyrs during apartheid. It calls for Mandela’s release. It’s by Johnny Clegg and Savuka.”

 

Kili pressed a kiss to the side of Fili’s neck. “You have a voice like an aubergine.”

 

Fili laughed. “What?”

 

“You know,” Kili mumbled. “How aubergines are all velvety and smooth and… yeah.”

 

“I do know what you mean… sort of,” Fili said pensively. He held up the plate he had been preparing. “I believe I have a promise to uphold. Chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. Unhealthy enough for you?”

 

“Positively sinful,” Kili purred, flicking his tongue over Fili’s ear. It seemed that a good start to the morning was only about to get better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUX3AK6wRzM ((2:44 is where it gets really good ☺)
> 
>  
> 
> The song also has verses in English but I find the verses in zulu the most beautiful
> 
> here is a translation of some of them: 
> 
> Asimbonanga (We have not seen him)  
> Asimbonang' uMandela thina (We have not seen Mandela)  
> Laph'ekhona (In the place where he is)  
> Laph'ehleli khona (In the place where he is kept)
> 
> Asimbonanga (We have not seen him)  
> Asimbonang 'umfowethu thina (we have not seen our brother)  
> Laph'ekhona (In the place where he is)  
> Laph'wafela khona (In the place where he died)
> 
> Hey wena (Hey you!)  
> Hey wena nawe (Hey you and you as well)  
> Siyofika nini la' siyakhona (When will we arrive at our destination)
> 
> Asimbonanga (We have not seen him)  
> Asimbonang 'umfowethu thina (we have not seen our brother)  
> Laph'ekhona (In the place where he is)  
> Laph'wafela khona (In the place where he died)


	15. Nakuru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis and Thorin decide to spring a surprise visit to Kili and Fili in Kenya... the first of several chapters which will feature Dis and Thorin in Kenya!

“KILI!”

 

Dis abandoned her brother with the suitcases and dashed forwards, flinging her arms around her son.

 

“Hey Mum!” Kili grinned, winding his arms around her and squeezing back with all his might.

 

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much! You need to call more often! And Frerin says he’s so sorry he couldn’t come, he was busy, or he says he’s busy, he’s probably just skint, who knows, we never can tell with him can we…”

 

“Hey Uncle Thorin!” Dis turned to embrace Fili and Thorin bestowed upon his nephew a rare hug.

 

“Nice to see you,” Thorin said gruffly, but Kili knew it was from the heart. This had been the longest he hadn’t seen any of his family and though he was less vocal than Dis, Kili was sure his uncle had missed him just as much.

 

……

 

December was fast approaching; Kili couldn’t believe all that had happened in the few months he’d been in Kenya, so much it felt like years. Dis and Thorin had sprang a surprise on him a few weeks ago, asking if he wouldn’t mind if they flew out for Christmas. Frerin had also been involved in the plan initially, but had to drop out of the last minute; “ _Typical_ ,” Dis huffed but Kili didn’t mind.

 

He and Fili had both gone to welcome them at the airport, and Dis chatted happily on the way back, her eyes glued to the window; Fili was reminded vividly of Kili on his first time in Kenya. Thorin was, naturally, quieter and more subdued but Kili knew his uncle well enough to know that below his usual exterior of passiveness and serenity, he too was thrumming with excitement.

 

They’d set up two twin beds in the spare room. Dis, predictably, fell in love as soon as she’d laid eyes on the cute little bungalow. Kili enjoyed himself immensely showing them around his new life, showing off the multitudes of black-and-white pages strewn across the new desk they had bought (paperwork he assured them was vitally important to the organization), and proudly pointing out the artefacts he hoarded from the many weekend trips they had taken, endless bones and mandibles resting interestedly on the mantelpiece and windowsills.

 

It was hard for Kili to get much time off work, and he was already on thin ice for having asked for two weeks off at Christmas, but somehow he managed to wrangle a four-day weekend so he and Fili could take Dis and Thorin on safari. They had decided on Nakuru national park, a few hours north of Nairobi; Kili thought it was a shame they couldn’t go to the Mara, but he perked up when Fili told him on their first day to look out for the legendary tree-climbing lions, only seen at Nakuru.

 

Dis and Kili spent the entire day hanging out of the sunroof or balancing on the roofrack. Dis barely stopped beaming all day, though whether it was being back with her son or due to the animals she had only ever seen on television Kili couldn’t be sure. Even Thorin couldn’t contain his grin as they ate their lunch in a shady acacia picnic site, Fili getting up repeatedly to chase away the baboons creeping hopefully towards them, eyes fixed eagerly on their sandwiches.

 

On their last day, Kili suggested they go for an early morning drive; neither of them being morning people, Dis and Thorin declined in favour of staying at the campsite for a lie-in, so Kili and Fili set off alone.

 

Kili had offered to drive and Fili, surprised but not hesitant, agreed. Kili was managing the gears well and, given the initial fiasco with the punctured tyre and that dratted rock, Fili was impressed with his progress at tackling the bumps in the heavily dented dirt roads.

 

They were driving alongside the lake in the fringe of forest lining the shore; Fili was scanning the boughs, on the lookout for a rare tree-climbing lion or a leopard, dawn being one of the most likely times to see them, when Kili turned right down a small mostly unused track. Fili made no comment as they travelled through almost a hundred metres of overgrown thicket coming to a stop just before water’s edge, recognising the place as where they had seen a few hippos yesterday.

 

Kili stopped the car and turned to him, almost expectantly. They were silent for a few seconds. Fili craned his neck, eyes scanning the mirror-like surface of the still lake.

 

“Were you hoping to see a hippo?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Kili unbuckled his seatbelt and in a second had maneuverer himself across the gears to straddle Fili’s lap.

 

Fili returned the heated kiss Kili gave him with gusto. He was surprised as Kili pulled the lever to make Fili’s seat tilt backwards and Kili’s ragged breathing as he put his lips close to his ear.

 

“Now. Please?” he breathed jerkily and Fili almost moaned as Kili pressed a tube of lube and a foil-wrapped square into Fili’s hand.

 

“You planned this.” His tone was a mixture of accusation, amusement and lustful admiration.

 

“Yes. I’ve been wanting to have you here for ages.” Kili returned to devouring Fili’s lips. Fili dragged his hands up Kili’s thigh, underneath the loose kikoi he had slung around his waist …

 

……

 

“As much as I like camping, there is definitely something to be said for soundproof walls.”

 

Fili had to agree.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, which I apologise for - but I promise to put up a Christmas chapter up soon! As usual all feedback/prompts/comments/kudos welcome :) X
> 
> also - WOOP! 100 KUDOS! THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! <3


	16. Krismasi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I have just seen Peter Jackson's epic finale to the Hobbit trilogy. AND I AM TRAUMATISED! even though I knew what was going to happen because of the book. (sorry if that was a spoiler to anyone, but i think we all agree we knew there weren't going to be happy endings from the trailer)
> 
> so I have taken solace in this story, in which it's christmas so it's cheer and merriment all around. I was going to only post half the chapter because its rather long, but then realised that there are a lot more chapters of this story to come so might as well post the whole thing!
> 
> I won't be posting again til after the 27th - so merry christmas to everyone and thanks again to all of you for your support :) X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent already seen it, I refer you to this scene from the film Out of Africa   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CKlA15b0Unc#t=99 
> 
> (hint: it may be relevant later in this chapter ☺)
> 
> and the crater within a crater mentioned is called Suswa

 

Kili recognised the symptoms: lights lining house eaves and draped around gates, elf hats and reindeer horns on mannequins in shop windows, wreaths hung on doors, big glittery Christmas trees displayed proudly in lobbies and shopping malls and sitting rooms, models of Santa Clause materializing everywhere, some huge and inflatable, some small and waving, some even parachuting from the ceiling of the Men’s at his office.

 

What he did find odd was the sunshine.

 

There was something very unnerving about seeing snowflake-adorned signs blaring slogans like ‘Happy Holidays!’ and ‘Merry Christmas!’ coupled with the thirty-plus-degree weather they were having.

 

“How are you supposed to drink mulled wine when it feels like a desert outside?” Kili whined.

 

Fili snickered. “It’s not _that_ hot. This’ll be your best Christmas ever, you’ll see.”

 

“I’m sweating buckets. It’s too hot for mince pies, but how can you do Christmas without them?” Kili grumbled.

 

“You’ve never had one of Dina’s mince pies. I’d eat one of them anywhere, anytime.” Fili checked his watch. “Crap, we’re going to be late. At this time of day, the traffic is going to be a nightmare.”

 

Tauriel didn’t often come to Kenya for Christmas, but Tanya and the twins’ stepdad Miles were going to Mexico and Tauriel didn’t fancy third-wheeling. Despite the traffic, they managed to arrive on time and were waiting five minutes before she strode into sight under the Arrivals sign. She gave Fili a big hug before delivering Kili the same treatment. Kili stayed nervous until she shoved her suitcase into Fili’s hand, draped an arm around each of them and started babbling about her new boyfriend ‘Leggy’; after that Kili’s heart was put at ease and they chattered happily on the way to the car, a know-it-all smile plastered over Fili’s face which Tauriel chose to ignore.

 

“All together again!” she cried happily, flinging off her sunglasses and draping herself across the back seat, Fili scowling and swatting at her feet where she’d put them up on the compartment between the two front seats. Tauriel rolled her eyes as she withdrew her feet but continued cheerily: “Are we going to the coast again? We’ll have to go sometime in the new year. Once dad is gone. Wanker.”

 

“Agreed.” Fili had told Tauriel about what had happened last time they had gone to visit Bilbo. They had seen neither hide nor hair of Randy for the rest of that weekend, nor any time since. The last anyone had heard from him was when he informed Bilbo he would be going to Nyumba Amani over the holidays; it didn’t sound like an invitation. Fili continued to be remarkably blasé about the subject of his father, when he wasn’t avoiding the topic, and Tauriel evidently held him in a similar regard; Kili followed Fili’s lead in not mentioning him.

 

Tauriel cooed at the little bungalow from the outside, but grimaced horribly as they entered.

 

“ _Honestly_ , Fili, what is _that?”_

 

“I _know_ , I _know_ , I’ll get it re-upholstered soon!” Fili groaned, hastily throwing a blanket over the still violently purple sofa.

 

There were no pines to be had in Kenya and Fili didn’t have an artificial tree so they had lopped a small bough off a majestic eucalyptus in their garden, spray-painted it silver and draped it with a few lights and decorations from the Masai market. Fili had put up with the other trinkets that slowly dripped into the bungalow as Kili accumulated them (“They’re _cute_ , not kitsch, you Scrooge,” Kili had to reprimand him more than once) but Fili had drawn the line at tinsel, reasoning that there was no point decorating too much given that they would be spending the majority of the festive period at Bilbo’s.

 

They left on the evening Tauriel arrived. Dis and Tory, once introduced, got along like a house on fire and there wasn’t a second of silence for the whole of the three-hour journey up to Naivasha. Kili turned around from his place in the front seat and shot a grin at his uncle, who gave a rare, warm smile in return from his place sitting serenely in the back seat, having protested vehemently when Kili offered him shotgun.

 

It was dark when they pulled up to the familiar green gate, but they could see the lights in the main house were on.

 

“Merry Christmas!” Bilbo cried, flinging the door open, as Frodo charged between his legs and threw himself into Tauriel’s arms with a joyous battle-cry.

 

“I see you’ve taken over the big house now,” Fili grinned.

 

“Just for the holidays,” he winked cheekily. “Randy’s not going to be back for a while, so I thought _to hell with it!_ ”

 

“Bilbo, this is my mum, Dis,” Kili introduced. “And my uncle Thorin.”

 

“So wonderful to meet you both, _karibuni_! How are you enjoying Kenya so far?”

 

“It’s marvellous!” Dis beamed. Thorin murmured his assent.

 

The house smelled of cinnamon and chocolate, which Kili thought was bizarre given that he always associated those with the cold. He and Fili took everyone’s suitcases to their respective rooms, all of which were made up and looking more warm and inviting than Kili had ever seen the big house before. Fili pressed him into a corner for a rushed, excited kiss, before they joined the others downstairs sitting on canvas chairs on the veranda, sipping little glasses of Cointreau.

 

“You’ll have to help me put up the decorations tomorrow,” Bilbo told them. “Frodo didn’t want to start until you all arrived. And it’ll be the big day in a week so better get cracking!”

 

“Let’s do it _now_!” Frodo cried.

 

“You can’t wait til morning?”

 

“No!”

 

Though the older ones wouldn’t admit it, they were also too excited to wait til morning, so Fili, Kili and Tauriel, carrying Frodo, ran upstairs; they waited eagerly as Fili passed down bags of bubble-wrapped trinkets and boxes of newspaper-sheathed baubles from the loft.

 

Bilbo had an artificial tree and after much giggling they finally figured out how to put it together (after Kili had snapped a photo of a very confused-looking Fili next to what appeared to be an upside down fake fir).

 

“No! Wait, Fili, you have to put the lights on first!”

 

“ _Stop bossing me around!_ ”

 

Kili half-groaned, half-sighed in exasperated amusement as the inevitable squabbling began. He lifted Frodo onto his shoulders so Frodo could start hanging paper chains from the ceiling,leaving the twins to the tree.

 

“My… my word,” Bilbo said an hour later, peering through the doorway, blinking at the explosion of festivity which met his eyes. “You’ve… been busy.”

 

“Kili’s always loved Christmas,” Thorin said fondly, and Kili grinned up at him around the large red Rudolph-nose clamped in the middle of his face. Fili started, having never heard Thorin speak of his own volition before; he hastily pretended to swat a mosquito to hide his embarrassment.

 

“You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard your uncle really _talk_ ,” Fili told Kili, an arm around eachother’s waist as they ascended the stairs, banisters wrapped in twinkling tinsel.

 

“Get a drink in him and he’ll never stop,” Kili shrugged. “He’s just quiet. Just one of those people. Such a contrast with the rest of my family!”

 

“Mine too,” Fili laughed, pressing Kili against their bedroom door and capturing his lips in a smiling, happy kiss.

 

……

 

It was the eve of the big day; as per tradition, Tauriel was reading Frodo ‘The Night Before Christmas’, Kili listening in from the other end of the sofa when Fili appeared. Kili automatically shifted on the sofa to make room for him but Fili leaned down and whispered “Can you come with me a minute?”

 

Kili nodded, taking his hand and following Fili outside.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

“You’re not going to push me in the lake are you?” he asked worriedly as Fili, clamping a hand around his eyes to make sure he wasn’t peeking, led him down the garden.

 

Fili laughed. “No, but good idea.”

 

“Wouldn’t that be memorable – the Christmas I got eaten by a hippo, ho-ho-ho.”

 

“And here I was, thinking you got a biology degree when you clearly don’t even know that hippos are herbivores.”

 

“I was being _facaetious_ , Fili.”

 

“You can look now,” Fili whispered after a few minutes of walking in silence.

 

Kili opened his eyes and saw they had somehow emerged onto an airstrip. In front of them was a small white plane. Kili’s jaw dropped.

 

“What is _this_?”

 

“It’s not mine,” Fili told him. “It belongs to our neighbour.”

 

“I thought they didn’t make these anymore.”

 

“They don’t. But Beorn recovered this one, he’s a bit of a bush guy. It was an original one from the forties. I helped him fix it and he taught me how to fly. Although it took a lot of persuading for him to let me do this.”

 

Kili mulled over Fili’s last words as he marvelled at the mini-plane.

 

“Why am I here?” he asked slowly, though he already had a pretty good idea. “Is… is this my Christmas present?”

 

“Part of it. Don’t worry, you’ll have something to unwrap under the tree tomorrow, too.” Fili grinned, plonking a helmet and goggles onto Kili’s messy hair.

 

“I can’t believe we’re about to do this,” Kili breathed, scrambling into the front seat.

 

“Believe it now?” Fili roared over the sound of the engine.

 

The plane sped along the bumpy runway, taking off just when it looked as if they’d go hurtling into the trees. The ground fell away, and Kili got that strange sick feeling as if he’d left his stomach behind, but he was too awed to notice it as the land unfolded beneath them, the little plane climbing higher and higher over the mass of blue that was the lake, the jagged unmistakable silhouette of Mount Longonot, the raw naked slit of earth that was the escarpment of Hell’s Gate, until they all vanished behind them and Kili was seeing new landscapes, new mountains, places he had never seen or heard of before and all of it was beautiful.

 

Kili remembered that scene in _Out of Africa_ , when Denys took Karen flying for the first time – like Denys, Fili had given Kili a gift, the best gift, that of ‘seeing the world through God’s eye.’ _“When did you learn to fly?” “Yesterday!”_ Remembering that, he laughed, the sound fighting with the wind to be heard. He leaned back, a blissful expression on his face as he reached out an arm behind him. Fili grabbed his hand and clutched it tightly. They cut a low arc, swinging over the rift valley volcanoes, tilting as they soared over a plateau curiously dented in the middle by a huge crater within which lay a second crater, sitting one inside the other like concentric circles.

 

“Where’s that?” Kili shouted, but Fili couldn’t hear him.

 

The wind bellowed in his ears, whipping his hair all around his face and Kili laughed again, his hand still grasped in Fili’s, his cheeks were starting to get cold in the cold up here but his fingers, clasped in Fili’s leather flying gloves were warm, and the heat and love he felt pouring out of his heart warmed him to the bone.

 

The tips of the trees grew larger and more distinct as the plane finally made its descent. It hit the runway with a jolt and jackhammered over the bumpy ground until it finally juddered to a stop. Fili jumped out and offered Kili a hand as he climbed down.

 

“How was it?” he asked, smiling, but didn’t get a reply as Kili tore off his goggles and helmet and kissed him hard.

 

……

 

When Christmas morning finally dawned, the whole house was woken by Frodo’s excitable shrieks of laughter. Kili snapped his eyes open and peered over his shoulder at the end of the bed, where two bulging stockings were hanging off the bedframe which had definitely not been there the previous evening. He felt his cheeks flush, taking in his limbs wrapped around Fili’s body, and hoped it had been dark enough that ‘Santa’ hadn’t been able to make out their position - but he couldn’t stay embarrassed for long.

 

“Fili, it’s Christmas, wake up!” A grin split his face from ear-to ear and he scooted to the edge of the bed, grabbing his stocking and running into his mother’s bedroom, only to find that Bilbo and Frodo had beaten him there and Frodo was now upending his stocking onto the bedspread to show Dis and Bilbo what Father Christmas had given him.

 

All morning the house was rife with calls of ‘Merry Christmas!’ and ‘ _Krismasi Njema_!’, Kili’s new favourite phrase. After a late breakfast, everyone finally congregated in the living room, Frodo taking it upon himself to be a Christmas elf and dutifully delivering everyone their presents from under the tree.

 

“Threetwoonego!” Tauriel shouted and she and Fili immediately began demolishing the parcels in their laps at full force. It seemed that presents, like everything else, was a competitive affair among the Baggins.

 

Kili was much more controlled. He still had three presents left by the time the twins were moaning at him to hurry up, their own gifts reduced to a heap of tangled ribbons and shreds of gold paper. Dis smiled at him as he took his time, painstakingly slipping his finger under the sellotape to avoid tearing the paper, admiring everything he received for a significant amount of time and thanking whoever had gifted it to him with a smile and a hug before moving on to the next.

 

Dina had of course gone home for the holidays to celebrate with her family, so for Christmas lunch everybody pitched in with a dish – Tauriel was put in charge of desserts, Bilbo and Dis the mains, and Fili the starters.

 

Kili was asked to lay the table.

 

“Why am I the only one here who is rubbish at cooking?” he moaned miserably, plonking himself down on the sofa next to Thorin, having been shooed out of the kitchen amidst protestations of “No, no, we’re fine! Go upstairs and put your feet up!”

 

“You and me both, lad,” Thorin sighed.

 

“Out of the way, out of the way!” Bilbo sang merrily, swinging through the door, his hands encased in oven gloves around a dish of something that smelled delicious.

 

He swung around to get something else from the kitchen and bumped into Dis in the doorway, wearing a pair of felt antlers with bells that tinkled as she moved to the left, only to be blocked by Bilbo as he also moved to the left, then again as they both ducked to the right.

 

“Oh dear… mistletoe!”

 

To everyone’s surprise, Dis giggled, blushing and leaned in to press a chaste kiss on Bilbo’s pink lips.

 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Tauriel whispered so that only Fili and Kili could hear.

 

Dis had brought crackers from England at Kili’s request. After Fili’s starter of garlic-butter prawns, they pulled them simultaneously with a snap. Freshly adorned with their rainbow of tissue-paper hats, everyone helped carry through the dishes of Bilbo and Dis’ incredible main.

 

“What meat is this?” Kili asked interestedly as Bilbo carved. It looked like a roast beef, except that it was a different shape and distinctly darker.

 

“Ostrich!”

 

Kili tucked in – it was good, similar to beef in texture as well as appearance, but it had a richer, grainer flavour.

 

“It’s delicious!” he declared.

 

“Very lean, low in cholesterol – good for the oldies like us,” Bilbo said, winking at Dis and Thorin at their end of the table.

 

As was traditional, the whole company sang a resounding chorus of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ as Bilbo proudly brought in the flaming Christmas pudding. Frodo clapped his hands, gabbling vaguely in the right tune and pitch, replacing ‘we want some figgy pudding’ with ‘we want some Fili pudding’, making everyone laugh.

 

Several helpings of pudding drenched in cream and mince pies later, they migrated into the living room to collapse, paper hats askew. Fili automatically curled around Kili on the cushy armchair they were sharing, tracing small circles on his shoulder with the tip of his finger. Bilbo brought out small glasses of Amarula, the closest drink they could get to Baileys in Kenya. It was creamy and nutty, with an almost citrusy tang.

 

“It’s made with a fruit called marula,” Bilbo told Dis, nothing her curious glance as he settled next to her on the sofa. “Legend has it the drink was born when people saw elephants acting rather drunkenly after eating huge quantities of the fermented fruit on the ground!”

 

“Bullshit,” Fili interjected as Dis and Bilbo laughed. “Elephants wouldn’t eat rotten fruit, they eat off the trees. And besides, just think how much alcohol it takes to get a human drunk – elephants weigh hundreds of kilos, they would have to eat _tons_ of the stuff to get tipsy.” He turned to Kili. “Back me up, biology boy.”

 

“It’s a nice story but…” Kili gave his mother a dubious look, confirming what Fili said, and she pouted.

 

“Way to ruin the fun, boys,” Bilbo teased, eyes sparkling over his glass.

 

There were a few moments of contented silence until Thorin cleared his throat awkwardly.

 

“So Kili, we’ve heard you’re learning to drive,” he started, trying to sound conversational. Kili grinned – his uncle was awful at being nonchalant.

 

“Yes. Ish.” Kili heard Fili snort behind him, then quickly hide his face in Kili’s shoulder – true, no one had let him forget the first incident with the exploded tyre and that _stupid rock_ , but really, he wasn’t that bad.

 

“You might have been wondering why you got less presents this year.”

 

Kili opened his mouth to speak but was unsure what to say. He knew the flights out to Kenya must have taken huge chunks out of Thorin and Dis’ budgets, neither of whom were exactly well-off. Christmas had always been a warm but never an extravagant affair in their house, and he was always immensely grateful for anything he got.

 

“I didn’t,” was all his brain provided.

 

“Come with me,” Thorin told him.

 

Dis grabbed his hand and followed Thorin outside. Kili gasped.

 

“ _WHAT?”_

 

“Merry Christmas, darling,” Dis whispered as he threw himself at her.

 

“It’s from all of us. It’s second hand, but still in great condition, good as new really,” Thorin began, sounding a little worried, but Kili’s reaction showed him those worries were misplaced.

 

“Oh my God, oh my God, _oh my God_!” Kili sang, pressing his face against the Rav on the drive, a giant ribbon tied around the bonnet and a red tag hanging from the wing mirror bearing four signatures: _Mum_ , _Thorin_ , a smudged scrawl that could vaguely be discerned as _Uncle F_ and Dwalin’s surprisingly neat cursive. “I can’t believe it! Thank you!”

 

“Wow!” the twins cried in unison, appearing in the doorway and setting eyes on the car as Kili danced around it.

 

“Thank you Thorin,” Kili said again, giving him a hug. Thorin was so tall he was easily able to fit underneath his chin.

 

“You’re welcome,” Thorin murmured, then continued in a louder voice: “Now how about a trial run?”, a suggestion met with whoops from the house and Frodo immediately claiming shotgun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> karibuni – you’re welcome (said to several people)
> 
> “When did you learn to fly?” “Yesterday!” is a quote from the film Out of Africa


	17. New Year at Naivasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A New Year's party - and some unexpected news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone had a great christmas and new year - apologies for replying so late to your comments, you're all wonderful!!! as usual, please comment/kudos if you enjoyed :)

 

The days between Christmas and New Year passed in a haze of leftovers and the continued novelty of everyone’s Christmas presents. On a whim, Bilbo decided to have a New Year’s party.

 

“We’ll have a barbecue!” Bilbo declared. “And have lots of fizzy stuff ready for when its midnight!”

 

“A bit spontaneous of you,” Fili commented, reaching lazily for the last mince pie in the tin on the counter.

 

“You should know by now that I am _very_ spontaneous!” Bilbo reminded him. “It was Dis’ idea actually,” he added happily. “Wonderful woman! So bright and full of energy!”

 

Just as Fili raised last bite of his pie to his mouth, Kili threw him a baleful look. Fili hesitated, then gave in to the puppy eyes, Kili looking grateful and gleeful as he wolfed it down.

 

“That’s love,” Fili muttered.

 

“It was either that, or I would have just stolen it from you,” Kili informed him, licking his fingers.

 

There was an elegant pattering of feet down the stairs and Tauriel entered the living room, Legolas behind her. Legolas had flown out to join them a few days after Christmas. He was willowy and slender, a dancer like Tauriel; underneath his svelte appearance, hard muscles lurked, demonstrated when he and Tauriel danced, which they did almost constantly, lithe dips, lifts and twirls looking effortless in his arms. He appeared to possess all the grace Kili had ever wished for in the world and stark silvery-grey eyes like diamond itself – he and Tory certainly made a visual impact as a couple. He had a quiet demeanour and seemed in awe of Tauriel and every move she made; anyone could see he was clearly smitten.

 

Tory, never-still as always, swayed around him, catching his hand and ducking under it, making him twirl her. Legolas’ crystal grey eyes lit up at her attention and his lips stretched into a small, adoring smile. Even given the playful, casual way they moved, Kili was reminded of a butterfly around a succulent flower.

 

Fili scowled at them, muttering so that only Kili could hear: “I know they dance for a living, but you’d think they didn’t have to _remind everyone of that every second of the day??_ ”

 

“Did we hear ‘party’?” Tauriel asked interestedly as she raised her leg to balance it on Legolas’ shoulder.

 

“You did indeed, my dear.” Bilbo beamed at them, evidently enjoying their impromptu performance a lot more than Fili was. “You do dance so _wonderfully_ together! I hope you’ll give us a proper performance at the party!”

 

“I hope to God _not_ ,” said blond Ebonezer Scrooge in an undertone.

 

“I wish I could dance,” Kili sighed, hours later. He stared at himself in the full-length mirror in Fili’s wardrobe, wearing a scruffy pyjama tshirt and boxers, and attempted a pirouette. He turned to Fili and grinned. Fili snorted as Kili waved his arms gracelessly for a while, then gave up and crawled into bed.

 

“It’s a stupid profession,” Fili told him, pulling off his polo. “Poncy nit… ‘I’m watching my weight.’ Pff! Please. Like a tiny bit of dessert at Christmas is going to kill you.”

 

Kili was starting to get the distinct impression Fili was not Legolas’ biggest fan.

 

“Maybe he just didn’t like your dessert,” he suggested cheekily. Fili glared at him.

 

“What?”

 

“To be honest, I’ve tasted better lemon soufflé. You’re losing your touch.”

 

Fili’s scowl deepened. “Well _you’re_ not getting _any_ tonight!” he huffed, flicking off the light and throwing himself dramatically onto his side, resolutely facing the wall.

 

Kili chuckled to himself in the dark. He knew that promise wouldn’t last long.

 

……

 

Kili had found himself surprised at how many friends Fili had when he was organizing his birthday party – what he didn’t realise was that it appeared to be a Baggins trait. Bilbo’s initial list of New Year party invites covered two and a half A4 sides, and it was a battle before they managed to persuade him that they _really_ didn’t have enough space, time or resources for a party of that magnitude.

 

He huffed and puffed, but finally settled for about fifty people. It was Dis’ point of “quality over quantity, dear” that finally brought him round.

 

The invite said eleven (which really meant noon, given that everyone would want to be fashionably late, and besides, in Kenya, punctuality never seemed to be a priority). Kili spent the first few hours keeping Thorin company – unlike Dis, who had spread her social butterfly wings and was now on first-name and inside-joke terms with everyone in the room, it took Thorin longer to warm to people he’d never met. When he was confident Thorin was happily settled in his conversation about aerobatics with the next-door neighbour Beorn, Kili went on a hunt for Fili. He went outside, where guests were milling around chatting in twos and threes and several tykes, Frodo among them, scuttled between people’s legs, apparently engaged in some kind of elaborate game of cops-and-robbers. Bilbo was stood behind the barbecue, merrily flipping skewers of prawns and marinated drumsticks; Dis stood by his side, laying sausages next to the chicken.

 

Scanning the lawn, Kili spotted Fili’s trademark bare-feet just visible behind some undergrowth in a corner of the garden, alongside a pair of muddy boots he recognised as Bard’s. He made towards the grove.

 

A haze of smoke welcomed him as he pushed aside the curtain of leaves, which he waved away with a scowl.  

 

“It’s a _family barbecue_ ,” he reprimanded them, annoyed.

 

“Sorry!” Fili laughed, pulling him close. “I’m not smoking. Just keeping this one company.”

 

“Thank fuck,” Bard said between mouthfuls of smoke. “You used to get so paranoid on this when we were at school. It was infuriating.”

 

He closed his eyes, opened his mouth and grey vapour unfurled from his tongue, snaking spirit-like into his nostrils.

 

“Dragon breath,” he smirked at Kili’s agog expression.

 

“He’s just showing off,” Fili told him. He adopted an exaggeratedly disapproving expression and tutted. “What would your dad think of this behaviour, hm?”

 

Bard laughed aloud. “My dad? Man, if he knew I was doing this he’d come and join me!”

 

“Fair point,” Fili muttered, rolling his eyes.

 

“What about your dad… how come he’s not here?”

 

“He was busy,” Fili replied tartly.

 

“Yeah… but man, your dad… _seriously_.” Bard laughed. “Dude, he’s hard work…”

 

Fili’s smile was mechanical. Kili grabbed his arm and hastily said there were other guests he had to greet.

 

He pulled Fili into the mercifully empty kitchen.

 

“You okay?” he asked and Fili nodded, pulling him close and breathing in the scent of his hair.

 

“Yeah. Jesus, Bard is annoying when he’s high.” Kili laughed.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

Fili consented obediently and Kili pressed his lips to his.

 

“Wanna get another drink?”

 

“That would be great…”

 

They grabbed two Tuskers from the fridge and headed back outside. It was coming on for evening now. Soon the sun would dip behind the trees and spread spiky shadows of the acacias on the whitewashed house, jagged blue lines interspersed with ruby and orange light. Bilbo had finally turned off the barbecue and people had migrated to the wicker armchairs and safari chairs scattered across the lawn and the veranda. The children, tired out after their energetic game, were nodding off on the sofa in front of _The Wild Thornberrys_.

 

“We’ve got an announcement!” Dis suddenly burst out. She grabbed Bilbo’s arm. Her smile was spread from ear to ear as she held up her left hand. “We’re engaged!”

 

“Oh my God, congratulations!” Tory cried, as Fili and Kili goggled at her and Bilbo, who suddenly blushed. She jumped up to hug them both.

 

“Well, come on, aren’t you happy for us?” Dis asked, giving Kili an affectionate punch in the arm.

 

“Yeah… yes, of course,” he replied, sounding a little dazed. “But… haven’t you only known eachother less than a month?”

 

“We know what we’re talking about,” Dis said, waving her hand.

 

“But… Mum,” Kili began quietly.

 

“Congratulations, Dis,” Thorin rumbled, cutting across Kili and giving his little sister a large hug. Dis glared at Kili affectionately and winked.

 

“See? At least someone knows the appropriate way to react.”

 

“Thank you,” Bilbo smiled as Thorin shook his hand gruffly.

 

“I know you’ll make her happy,” Thorin replied.

 

Fili glanced at Kili as others began chiming their congratulations too. “Are you alright?” he asked gently, tugging on Kili’s elbow.

 

“I don’t know,” Kili replied shortly. He wasn’t looking at him, but staring at his toes, sticking out of his flipflops. “It’s – a shock,” he bit out eventually.

 

Fili decided a hug was better than a reply. He was rather confused himself – Kili’s mother and _Bilbo_? How had _that_ happened?

 

Kili took five minutes on his own then returned to the party, all smiles again. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he hugged both Dis and Bilbo and offered his congratulations, and Fili watched him, concerned. He got them each another beer, then a glass of bubbly, and when the chanting finally came, counting down to midnight, he kissed Kili, now tipsy and merry. They smiled into eachother’s eyes as they welcomed in the new year, worries forgotten for the moment, and Fili poured Kili into bed an hour or three later, both of them giggly and uncoordinated.

 

Following a hefty lie-in the next morning, Kili gave Fili a genuine smile and repeated: “It’s just a shock.” But Fili knew Kili and was aware that though Kili liked Bilbo and wanted his mother to be happy, the news of their engagement had undoubtedly left him confused. Fili decided he needed to talk to Bilbo.

 

His chance for a one-on one with him arrived a few days later.

 

Everyone was still recovering from the New Year’s barbecue, which had escalated into boisterous campfire songs and lots of people sleeping over, too drunk to drive home. It was an easy, lazy kind of afternoon: Dis and Tauriel had gone into town to look at bridesmaid’s dresses and Thorin and Kili had gone for a drive, the excitement of the new Rav still having not worn off. Legolas, no doubt, had accompanied Tauriel.

 

Fili walked out into the garden towards the little pier they had built that extended out into the lake, a cup of tea cradled in his hands. He saw Bilbo was there too, sitting with his legs outstretched, admiring the blue waters rippling with tiny waves from the light breeze.

 

“So,” Fili began, lowering himself into the empty chair next to him. “You and Dis.”

 

Bilbo gave a chuckle. “You make it sound like high school.”

 

“Quite the revelation.”

 

“I’m sure.” Bilbo’s forehead creased and he looked at Fili, concern in his eyes. “Is Kili okay? We weren’t sure he took it that well.”

 

“He’s fine. Just a bit of a surprise, I think. He’s happy for you.”

 

“Is he really? I hope he’s not just saying that.”

 

“He means it.” Fili was sure of that – he thought.

 

“I’m glad.” Bilbo heaved a relieved sounding sigh. “The last thing we’d want to do is upset him.”

 

Fili decided to voice the thing that had been baffling him. “But… Bilbo, aren’t you gay?”

 

“I’ve never been one for labels, my dear boy.” Bilbo smiled faintly. “Love is a funny thing sometimes. Sometimes it can mean simply companionship. Me and Dis have many things in common… and we have both put certain, ahem, elements of life behind us.”

 

“ _Ew_ ,” Fili said under his breath, though he was relieved to hear it. “What about Frodo?”

 

“Frodo _loves_ Dis, almost more than I do!”

 

That was definitely true – Frodo’s new favourite seat was on Dis’ lap, and Dis had a way with children that made Fili almost wish she had been there for him when he was growing up.

 

A horrifying thought suddenly dawned on him. “You realise that if you and Dis get married, that’s going to make me and Kili _cousins_ , right?”

 

Bilbo laughed heartily. “My boy, hardly! It’s not like blood ties spring up on paper! If it makes you feel better, we fully accept that you got together first – and we will make that abundantly clear at the wedding,” he assured him, eyes twinkling.

 

“Good.” Fili sipped on his tea broodingly as Bilbo continued to chuckle, giving his hand a squeeze.

 

“If it hadn’t been for you two, we would never have met. So more than that, we thank you. Truly.”

 

When Fili went back to the house, he saw the Rav parked on the drive and shrill excitable voices drifting from inside informed him that the girls were back too. He peeked into the living room and saw Dis and Tauriel, their backs mercifully to him, demanding Kili’s opinion as they flapped samples of fabric in his face. Thorin, wisely, was nowhere to be seen. Kili turned tortured eyes on him, mouthing ‘ _Help me!’_ Fili shook his head, backing away quickly and making his escape up the stairs before the girls could spot him.


	18. Anniversary

 

Kili remembered the day his parents had sat him down and told him his father had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Kili was eleven. He crawled into his father’s lap like a child and cried as he stroked his hair, short then, and tried to soothe him.

 

“Hey! Why are you crying? It’s me who’s got it, not you!” he joked, and Kili couldn’t help a watery smile creeping across his face because he knew that even if it wasn’t funny, his dad didn’t want to see him sad.

 

The next year had been painful. Kili watched as his father’s weight fluctuated, the radiotherapy made him sick and tired and the endless, _endless_ hospital visits. They never worried in front of him, but Kili didn’t miss the fraught, silent conversations his parents had with their eyes in the tense atmosphere over the dinner table.

 

A year and a half later, the battle seemed won. They told him to be on close alert.

 

Six months later, it had come back. The doctors gave him weeks to live. Talk turned to treatment and therapy and home care schemes but Tali, in a steady voice said he didn’t want any of it. Dis took him outside and they spoke for fifteen minutes. Kili stayed inside the doctor’s office, staring at the floor.

 

Tali had decided he would rather spend his last days at home. “The cancer won’t have all of me,” he told the doctor. “If I’m going to die anyway, it makes no difference, does it? I’d rather die without the cancer looming over my head than pass away in a hospital surrounded by it.”

 

The doctor tried to persuade him, but eventually agreed. Tali came home.

 

Unexpectedly, Christmas came and went, and even New Year. Kili foolishly allowed himself to hope. On an unusually sunny winter’s day, he fell asleep in the afternoon sun on the lawn. Dis took his hand and knew. She sat next to him, still holding his hand. He could have been sleeping but his tea was long cold. His chest wasn’t moving. Kili slept in Dis’ bed that night and they shook together.

 

When he was fourteen, Kili decided to start growing out his hair. They were generally a long-haired family, both Kili’s uncles grew their dark hair long too and his father had always been proud of his shaggy mop.

 

He had been so young. That had been almost a decade ago.

 

Kili’s mother had written letters to his father almost every day for a long time after his death. She’d kept writing them every week, every month, for years; Kili knew because he’d found them in a box she kept under Tali’s side of the bed, all dated, all in envelopes as though one day she would send them: telling him how Kili was getting on, how she worried about him, how proud she knew he would be of him. She’d found him there, letters strewn on the bed around him, trying hard not to let the tears streaming down his face smear the ink.

 

It had become a tradition, since then, for them both to write him a letter every year on the day. And today, of course, was no different.

 

It was the ten-year anniversary of his father’s death.

 

He had barely slept the night before. Fili breathed heavily next to him, cheek nuzzled into his shoulder and one arm thrown protectively over his chest, but Kili had lain awake for hours, thinking, worrying.

 

In the morning, his alarm buzzed at six and he gave Fili a gentle goodbye kiss before getting out of bed and dressing quietly. He went into the kitchen and saw his mother was already up. They filled a couple of thermos flasks, climbed into the Rav, and set off at sunrise for Nairobi National Park.

 

It was a Saturday, but the park was quiet. They met only two other vehicles at the gate, and when they delved into the bush they saw nobody. They were quiet in the car, stopping for breakfast still wrapped in scarves and fleeces. They didn’t say much, just low murmurs at the animals they saw.

 

Eventually the morning’s chill subsided, they peeled off their layers and opened the sunroof. Dis didn’t sit up top this time like she had in Nakuru, but stayed in the passenger seat, the breeze from the open top above them whisking her hair loose from its long ponytail to mingle with Kili’s flyaway strands in the space between them.

 

At around twelve, Kili’s stomach started rumbling and they pulled up to the side of the road in a deserted plain, sprinklings of antelope and the distant forms of what looked like zebra just visible on the horizon. Kili pulled out the picnic bag and unpacked their lunch, spreading it out on the roof-rack. Suddenly, the food laid out in front of them, Kili found his appetite had vanished.

 

Dis nudged him gently. “Aren’t you hungry?” she asked softly.

 

Kili swallowed. “I thought I was. But I think I’m nervous.”

 

“Got the butterflies?” Dis smiled. Her voice was a whisper on the wind. “There’s no need to be nervous.”

 

A gentle breeze wafted by them as they sat, hand in hand. Finally Kili took a deep breath, trying to slow the thumping of his heart and pulled out his letter. Dis did the same.

 

“Do you want to read it? Or should I?”

 

“I – I’ll read it.” Kili took a shaky breath and though he expected to sound strangled and shaky around the lump in his throat, his voice was steady and calm.

 

“Dear Dad. I can’t believe it’s been ten years now when – when I still remember you as if it was yesterday. So much has happened…”

 

He finished reading his letter and folded it back up. Dis didn’t let go of his hand as she unfolded her own piece of paper and began reading.

 

“… you’d be so proud of the man our boy has become. He’s twenty-three now and reminds me of you more every day.” Dis looked up at Kili, her eyes shining and they embraced for a long time.

 

When they pulled apart, Kili scraped his eyes with the heels of his hand and Dis fussed over him with a tissue until he flapped her hands away gently.

 

“I wish he could have seen this.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“I wish he could have met Fili.”

 

“He would have loved that.”

 

Dis gazed absently at the new ring on the finger of her left hand. It was a line of gold elephants, each with a tiny gem for an eye. “He did well with this, didn’t he?” she mused half under her breath. Kili didn’t reply.

 

“Are you happy?”

 

“I am. Very.” Kili replied truthfully. “Just… why? You know he’s gay.”

 

Dis chuckled lightly through her nose. “Bilbo is all manner of things. Marriage isn’t just about _that_ you know. Marriage can be about anything. Oh god, you must think I sound like a real hippy,” she broke out suddenly, a laugh bubbling from her lips.

 

“You _are_ a hippy.”

 

“Look who’s talking, Mr Greenpeace!”

 

“Still. Go on.”

 

“Bilbo has loved and lost and so have I. We’re good friends. And Frodo could use a mum, even if it’s – well, not in the traditional sense. And if I come live out here, I can be closer to you.” Dis smiled.

 

“Who says I’ll be here forever?”

 

Dis laughed at him. “Come on. We can all see you an Fili are in this for the long run.” Kili couldn’t stop the half smile that inevitably spread over his face.

 

“But what about the house? In England?”

 

“Thorin is going to keep an eye on it for us. We won’t sell it, don’t worry, maybe rent it out if Thorin doesn’t move in so it earns a bit. And we’ll go and visit every year or so, and you can go back there anytime, you know that.”

 

There was another small silence.

 

“Do you think he’d mind?” There was a trace of doubt in Dis voice that surprised Kili. She was staring at her ring again and she was biting her lip, the same way he did when he was nervous.

 

“He’d want you to be happy, Mum.” The words were sincere. Dis smiled, though her eyes were glassy again.

 

“I miss him every day, you know. Still.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Despite the fact that he was a head and a half taller, Kili rested his head on her shoulder. Dis wound her arms around his shoulders and he looped his around her. She dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

 

“Someone once told me ‘marry your best friend’,” she sighed ruminantly. “I did. And now I’m going to do it again.”

 

 

 

 

Fili felt Kili’s soft kiss on his cheek and didn’t ask if he wanted him to get up – he knew what day it was, and he knew he and Dis wanted to spend it alone. They’d left early and wouldn’t be back til the late afternoon.

 

He snoozed in bed, catching up on some sleep before finally rousing himself at ten and setting about making himself a cup of coffee. He was glad he’d thrown on a tshirt and a kikoi (albeit a dirty one) as he met Thorin in the kitchen.

 

Thorin’s eyebrows creased, evidently surprised to see Fili. “Don’t you have work?”

 

“It’s Saturday,” Fili replied, confused for a second.

 

“Ah, of course. It’s so easy to lose track of the days out here.”

 

“Yeah.” Fili opened the fridge and peered inside. “Have… you eaten?” he asked, trying to be polite to Kili’s austere and frankly intimidating uncle.

 

“Not yet.”

 

“I guess it’s a brunch day then,” Fili replied, pulling some eggs and cheese out of the fridge and popping some bread into the toaster.

 

The kitchen was silent. Fili was electrically aware of the sound of his fork beating the eggs and the funny hum of the toaster. On a whim, he pulled out some bacon, feeling a tiny twinge of guilt as he imagined the look on Kili’s face if he ever realised they had eaten it without him - but desperate times called for desperate measures. _Men like bacon,_ Fili reasoned. _Maybe we can bond over bacon._

 

“Why do you wear that thing?” Fili turned around and saw Thorin was eyeing his kikoi, almost suspiciously. He could have laughed.

 

“It’s a kikoi. It’s just a wraparound. Easier than shorts.”

 

“It’s like a skirt, is it?”

 

“If you want to call it that.” Fili was confident enough in himself to not be bothered by Thorin’s suggestion he was wearing girls’ clothing. He didn’t think Thorin meant it that way anyway; it appeared that, like Kili, he didn’t think about how his words would sound before blurting them out.

 

He glanced into the pan, seeing the eggs were scrambled, then arranged them on two plates with the bacon and slices of toast.

 

Thorin took the plate offered him and they sat at the table; an awkward silence fell. Fili racked his brains but could think of nothing to say.He could have tried something chirpy like “How are you finding Kenya?” or “Tell me about your mining business,” but he somehow thought Thorin wasn’t one for small talk.

 

“Nice day,” Thorin grunted and Fili almost fell out of his chair.

 

“Yes.” Silence returned after their brief interlude.

 

Thorin took their plates and started washing them in the sink, and Fili busied himself with tidying a few things in the kitchen. He was about to excuse himself and go take a well-needed shower when a loud thump was heard and they both looked up at the ceiling.

 

“What in God’s name was that?”

 

“Just the monkeys,” Fili replied.

 

Thorin’s eyes widened and for a second he looked so much like Kili, except for the bushy eyebrows and hefty beard that Fili wanted to laugh. He gestured to the door. “Come outside, look.”

 

They walked a few metres away from the house and looked up. A monkey was sitting on the roof, picking happily at another’s fur. In the trees looming above the corrugated iron roof, the braches swayed and heaved with four or five more. They were an attractive blue-grey colour, the fur around their flanks turning orange at the tips and their sweet, constantly-bewildered looking faces surrounded by a white ruff, making them look like they’d just stepped out of Edwardian England. One of them dropped from the trees and landed with heavy metallic thud that reverberated throughout the roof, just like the one they’d heard a minute earlier.

 

“The males are larger,” Fili pointed out, automatically turning on his safari-guide mode. “They have really long tails, see.”

 

“What type are these? Blue monkeys?”

 

Fili was surprised; it seemed Thorin had done some research. “Yes. Also called Skyes, sometimes.” Thorin nodded wisely.

 

“Are they not afraid of the dog?” he asked conversationally.

 

“Arnold? Would you be afraid of her?” They looked at Arnold, basking in the sun, legs splayed in the air, as utterly unperturbed by the monkeys as they seemed to be of her in her highly undignified position.

 

“Oh no! Stop, wait, shoo!” Fili started shouting, but it was too late. The third monkey, the one not involved in grooming, had been digging between the gap between the sheets of corrugated iron; with an immense screeching noise, it pulled one of the sheets off and up. The monkeys started at the horrible sound and leapt toward the trees as Fili grabbed a few stones and hurled them at them. He sighed, watching as the monkeys scrambled upwards, settling in the highest branches and looking down at the two humans with the distinct air of enjoying a show.

 

“Dammit. I’ll have to fix that.”

 

Fili pulled on some shorts and fetched a ladder and a toolbox; he and Thorin painstakingly pieced the roof back together, working in companionable silence except to ask the other to pass a tool or lend him a hand. For all his airs and graces, Fili had to admit that Thorin was very down to earth.

 

“They’re such a pain,” Fili grumbled. “Kili likes them, but I think it’s just the novelty. I’ve seen them get into houses and completely trash them, it’s all I can do to ask Kili to keep the windows shut!”

 

“I’ve read that if you can keep them away using Vaseline and curry powder.”

 

The absurdity of that sentence struck Fili dumb for a second.

 

“How does that work?”

 

“You mix them together and it them on surfaces you don’t want the monkeys to touch. They don’t like the sensation of the Vaseline on their hands and feet but they can’t lick it off because the taste of the curry powder doesn’t agree with them. They ought to stay away after that.”

 

Fili pondered. “I think I’ve got some Vaseline in my shed.”

 

Fili disappeared into his shed for about twenty minutes; after discovering several items he thought he’d lost years ago, and two massive spiders (he sincerely hoped Thorin hadn’t heard his squeal as he blatted them with his flip-flop and vowed never to tell Kili about his animal cruelty), he emerged, triumphant, with a tub of petroleum jelly.

 

The resultant mixture after upending an entire jar of curry powder into the tub was a rather horrible brown colour.

 

“Where are the worst places for them to go?”

 

“Uh – the guttering, it’s only plastic so they could pull it down easily. And around the chimney, they pick at the bricks.”

 

It was a messy job, and Fili was glad he was wearing scruffy clothes as the Vaseline had a tendency to get _everywhere_. There was no other way to apply it other than by hand, and when the job was done, Fili peeled off the once-yellow rubber gloves he was wearing and tossed them in the bin.

 

When all was done and packed away, they pulled out two chairs and sat on the lawn, looking up at their handiwork. Fili brought out a tea tray and a bunch of tiny bananas, which Thorin looked approvingly at before digging in.

 

Fili should have known better – the smell of the bananas had the monkeys sniffing the air. They filled the trees, staring at them. Several had the audacity even to jump down to the lawn, venturing closer and closer, beady eyes fixed on the sweet-smelling yellow fruit.

“Shoo!” Fili jumped to his feet and mimed throwing a rock and the monkeys quickly retreated a few feet, only to peer curiously back a few seconds later and begin advancing again.

 

“For God’s sake!” Fili was about to go inside and grab his catapult, but Thorin started to laugh, a low, mirthful sound that made him stop in his tracks. It didn’t last long, but it was such a welcome surprise that he turned around, grinning and went back to his seat.

 

“As long as he doesn’t steal my _masala chai_ , I’ll let him be.”

 

……

 

That was how Dis and Kili found them, when they got back – legs outstretched in their canvas chairs, each with a cold bottle in their hands, having moved on to beer at around six o’clock, still admiring their roofwork.

 

“How was the safari?” Fili asked as Kili and Dis made their way over.

 

“Fine. Good. Saw some stuff.” Kili dropped a kiss on Fili’s head before lowering himself comfortably onto Fili’s lap.

 

“There are more chairs over there,” Fili protested, embarrassed to PDA in front of Dis and Thorin. Kili stuck out his tongue, but went back inside to drag out two more chairs.

 

“So? Plans for the evening?”

 

Thorin sighed, and ran his hand along his chin and jaw. “Packing.”

 

“You’re leaving?” Kili sounded crestfallen.

 

“Just for a few weeks,” Thorin assured him. “I’ll be back for the wedding.”

 

“When is the wedding?” Kili asked, turning to Dis.

 

“Valentine’s day,” Dis replied happily.

 

“That is gross,” Kili informed her.

 

“Grow up, brat. It’ll be at the coast,” she added dreamily.

 

Fili and Kili both hummed in approval.

 

“I’m going back up to Naivasha in a few days, so we can sort some other things out – the invites, the priest, that sort of thing.”

 

“Is Thorin going to give you away?”

 

“Give me away? No one’s going to give me away!” Dis said in mild outrage. Thorin, who had evidently known the answer to that before Kili had asked, smirked knowingly at him behind his sister.

 

Fili rolled his empty bottle between his palms and got to his feet. “Another beer?” he asked Thorin casually.

 

“Don’t mind if I do,” he replied pleasantly.

 

“You still happy with Tusker? Or you want something else?”

 

“Tusker’s fine by me.”

 

“Tusker’s fine by me too,” Dis hinted.

 

“Duly noted.” Fili took Thorin’s empty bottle and headed back to the house. Kili, slightly perplexed, followed him.

 

“You two seem to be getting on well,” he muttered, as Fili bent over the fridge, rummaging. “What happened today?”

 

“Just – bonding, I guess.” Fili pulled out four brown bottles and handed Kili two of them. “I never knew your uncle was a DIY man. Or a monkey expert.”

 

Kili still looked baffled but made no comment, following Fili as he cracked the lid off one of the bottles with his teeth and took a swig.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never lost a parent or had one remarry, so I hope I am treating/interpreting this situation in a reasonable way.
> 
>  
> 
> Shout out to FiliKiliThorinForever, who I hope enjoyed the second part of this chapter :P


	19. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title says it all :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not entirely happy with this chapter, i really struggled to make it not-sappy and more meaningful and i had such a hard time writing it but i didn't think i could skip over the wedding in the story! its not perfect but i thought what the heck, its not going to get better so might as well just post it and get it over with. bleh. hope you enjoy nonetheless :)

The day after Thorin left, the world descended into a flurry of nuptial activity – suddenly, February 14th didn’t seem so far away and everyone threw themselves preparations for the wedding full pelt. Kili couldn’t help feeling that Thorin had timed his departure perfectly, and probably, on purpose.

 

This time Bilbo was allowed full reign over the invites list, though he and Dis agreed that it was better off being a small but lavish affair with only close family and friends present. The invitations had been sent (by email, to satisfy Kili’s green side, and also the fact that the practically non-existent postal service in Kenya made it a necessity). Card copies had been ordered to be given out on the day – designed by Fili and beautifully printed on ivory card, the date of the wedding and Dis and Bilbo’s names in gold underneath a picture of the two of them looking happy.

 

“If it’s on the beach, what do we wear?” Kili asked, being careful not to crumble the corners of the invite as he slid it into a heavy cream envelope – he and Fili had been entrusted with labelling envelopes and, at Dis’ insistence, sprinkling a handful of dry lavender and rice into each envelope for good measure.

 

“Kangas and shirts for men, for the girls – whatever they like, as long as its comfortable. No shoes allowed.”

 

“That’s four, five, ten,” Bilbo mused aloud, gnawing absently on the end of his pencil as he stared fixedly at his notepad. He rearranged a few labels on tables. “That should work out as a table, shouldn’t it? I hate the idea of a table plan, but for things to be even remotely civilised I _do_ think we need one…”

 

“Is _he_ coming?” Fili muttered.

 

Bilbo knew what he meant. When he replied, his tone was matter-of-fact. “He’s invited. But I don’t think he’ll come.”

 

Tauriel, who had been listening in, snorted. “He’s on holiday in Zanzibar with some woman he met at the Club. He won’t be coming.”

 

Fili too snorted, but his expression brightened as his eyes lighted on another name on Bilbo’s notepad. “Is Gandhi coming?” he asked delightedly.

 

“Coming? He’s performing the ceremony!”

 

“Gandhi?” Kili repeated.

 

“It’s not his real name, dear,” Dis told him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind.

 

“You don’t say, Mum.”

 

“His real name is Gandalf Grey, but he likes his nicknames. He’s wonderful, I’ve met him, and he does the most amazing magic tricks!”

 

“Who _is_ he?” Kili asked, a little impatiently.

 

“He’s the pastor. He’ll be doing the honours on the big day.” She smiled at Bilbo who smiled back.

 

“He’s helped me through some tough times, he has,” Bilbo sighed.

 

“You’ll like him. He’s great fun,” Fili assured him. He grabbed a handful of lavender and sprinkled it into the envelop he was holding with relish, considerably cheered.

 

……

 

Anyone seeing Frerin and Thorin getting out of the plane at Malindi airport would never have believed they knew eachother, let alone were related. It was with a flourish that Frerin stepped out of the red land-rover (Fili had been hired as chauffer to do airport runs all day picking up guests the day before the wedding); he whipped off his sunglasses and strode towards Nyumba Amani, craning his neck as he stared up at it delightedly, looking for all as much as if he was advertising beachwear for H&M.

 

“He looks like Jason Mraz,” Fili grinned to Kili, who had appeared at the drivers’ door.

 

“And compared to him, Thorin’s like Marilyn Mansen. Over here!”

 

“Kirian!” A delighted smile joined his happy shout as he clapped eyes on his nephew. Kili was lifted off his feet in the traditional bearhug which left him giggling like a small child as he hugged Thorin too and Fili shook hands with both of them.

 

“So this is it,” Frerin said, and Kili could see he was practically vibrating with excitement. Frerin’s itchy feet had been longing for Africa his whole life.

 

Kili grinned. “I knew you’d love it.”

 

“And indeed I do, already! Now where is your wonderful mother?”

 

Most of the other guests were staying at hotels down the road, but family, especially those coming from England, had priority rooms in the house. Dinner that night was a very merry affair - predictably, no one could resist Frerin’s sunny charm and incessant, excited questions, nor could anybody quell their upcoming excitement for the Big Day tomorrow.

 

Fili and Kili’s excitement was definitely dampened however when Tauriel jumped on them at six AM the next morning. “Get up, _get up,_ we have work to do!!!”

 

……

 

Much as they had grumbled, the early start had definitely been worth it, Kili thought, burying his feet in the sand.

 

They’d worked all day and the little beach in front of the house had been transformed. Six huge wooden dug-out canoes had been arranged upside down in the sand, covered in cloths and pillows to serve as benches, three on either side so as to form an aisle in the middle – close family sat on the front row. The sand had been sprinkled with petals and the aisle was lined with buckets of fragrant flowers. At the end, just before the waters edge stood a bamboo arch, wrought with even more flowers; underneath that stood Gandhi, wearing his best priestly gear, combined with a masai _shukka_ – definitely stylish if a little unorthodox. Fili and Kili had spent every spare moment that afternoon with him (or at least whenever they managed to escape Tauriel flinging chores at them left right and centre); Ghandi had originally arrived as a missionary and though Kenya was full of missionaries, Ghandi was definitely Kili’s favourite. He had stories a dozen from his forty years in Kenya, and his magic tricks were truly the stuff of miracles.

 

(“He’s a bit of a pyromaniac too,” Fili muttered to Kili when they were out of Ghandi’s earshot, warily eyeing Tauriel, who was making a beeline for them and shouting something about helping the caterers set up. “Or so I’m told.”)

 

The sinking sun caught on the edges of Bilbo’s tea-coloured curls, making them shimmer in a golden halo around his face. He was also standing underneath the flowery arch, chatting with Gandhi, now though how he could speak with the wide smile stretched across his face was anyone’s guess.

 

True to Dis’ dress code, the guests were a rainbow of flowing fabric and bare feet, the picture of ease as they talked softly and excitedly, eagerly awaiting the bride. A light warm wind ruffled everyone’s hair and sent ripples across the sand.

 

The choir stood at the back started to hum and everyone stood as Dis appeared on the veranda. She descended the steps to the white sands, her dress barely brushing the ground as she beamed, positively glowing, eyes fixed on Bilbo.

 

“This is weird,” Kili muttered to Fili, under cover of the guests’ collective sigh.

 

“I know,” Fili whispered back.

 

“Will you still love me when we’re technically cousins?”

 

“Ew, don’t say that. We got here first.”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Gandhi began loudly, throwing a pointed but amused look in their direction as a hush fell and their whispered voices carried. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today…”

 

The vows were said and when Gandhi finally pronounced the words everyone had been waiting for, the congregation cheered and Dis, laughing, grabbed Bilbo’s shoulders and kissed him on his smiling mouth.

 

Everyone stood and applauded as the couple, arm in arm, floated down the aisle, leading the procession back to the house where canapés and champagne awaited them. Instead of throwing her bouquet, Dis untied the ribbon holding them together and handed a flower to everyone.

 

“I only got a fern,” Kili said grumpily, twisting it in his fingers looking unimpressed.

 

“Family hold back,” Fili pointed out. He stood back and positioned his camera. “Alright everyone – smile!”

 

They stood, frozen smiles on their faces for a few seconds before Fili lowered his hands. “Race you to the sea!” Dis shouted.

 

Dis and Tauriel took off, their high-pitched giggles carrying on the wind. At the sea’s edge, Dis grinned wickedly and threw herself into the warm water, grabbing onto Tauriel’s arm, who grabbed Legolas, who grabbed Kili, who grabbed Frerin, who grabbed Thorin, who, with a rare, cheeky smile, grabbed Bilbo’s arm and suddenly they were all drenched, struggling to sit up in the shallows, all in fits of giggles.

 

Fili had just enough time to snap a photo of them before Kili charged out of the water, wet clothes clinging to his body as he rushed at him, arms outstretched.

 

“Argh – fuck, Kili no, I’ve got my camera!” Fili took off towards the house, Kili in hot pursuit.

 

“Language!” Bilbo frowned, but was distracted when Dis kissed him square on the mouth and pushed him backwards into the water again.

 

……

 

“If my wedding is even half as beautiful as this, I’ll be glad,” Tauriel sighed at the end of the beautiful evening. The wedding breakfast had been delicious and bright, followed by much dancing in the candlelit courtyard, watched over by the crescent moon. Dis and Bilbo had hardly left the floor since they took to it for their first dance as man and wife hours ago; there was no elaborate routine, no complicated footwork or lifts, but the look on their faces as they gazed into eachothers’ eyes said it all.

 

“Me too,” Fili replied absently, then started, as if he was surprised at himself. Kili laughed.

 

“What was that?” he asked gently, bumping him with his shoulder.

 

“I don’t know…” Fili replied quietly. “I guess… I’ve never thought about getting married before.”

 

Kili stood up and proffered his hand. “Care for a dance?” he asked with mock sincerity.

 

Fili raised an eyebrow.

 

“Come on, even Tory and Leggy are doing it.”

 

“Of _course_ they are,” Fili grumbled, but took Kili’s hand and allowed himself to be dragged under the misty candlelight, interspersed with the silvery light of the moon.

 

It was horrendously cheesy, but Kili couldn’t resist resting his head on Fili’s shoulder as they swayed – Dis shot him a wink from her identical position on Bilbo’s shoulder.

 

“Whatever you say, you’re very graceful,” Kili murmured. To his surprise, rather than the snort he expected, Fili gave him a small smile and dropped a kiss to his cheek.

 

“So are you. Although I’m warning you this is about as advanced as I can get.”

 

“Me too.” Kili cocked his head to the side and looked around cheekily. “So who do you reckon’s next?”

 

Fili surveyed the scene, lips pursed. “I’d say perhaps your uncle Frerin and Gloria Farin over there.”

 

“ _What_?” Fili turned so Kili could peek over his shoulder and see the pair of them, dancing an exuberant and utterly inappropriate samba given the slow music, both almost paralysed with laughter. “Jesus. Frerin shouldn’t drink.”

 

“I think I saw him and Bard disappearing into the shadows earlier…”

 

Kili groaned, thunking his head on Fili’s shoulder. Fili suppressed a grin.

 

“Do you think we’ll get married one day?”

 

“Um… isn’t it a bit early for that?”

 

Kili looked up, grinning. “Kidding. Your face… I should be offended.”

 

“Don’t be,” Fili murmured.

 

They held eachother close, swaying slowly, until Kili unwrapped Fili’s arms from around him and tugged him off the dance floor.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“To the beach. I want to see the stars.”

 

Fili was about to protest, tell him it wasn’t safe to go down to the beach after dark, any number of sordid characters could be lying in wait for unsuspecting people to venture onto the white moonlit sands - but the outpouring of the universe above them made him swallow his worries.

 

Kili wasted no time in flopping onto the sand flat on his back. Fili prodded him in the side with his foot.

 

“Open your legs.”

 

“I am not a piece of _meat_ ,” Kili replied slyly and Fili snorted, nudging Kili’s legs apart until there was enough for him to lie between them and pillow his head on Kili’s stomach. Kili reached down automatically, caressing Fili’s chin and recently-shaven cheeks, toying with the stubble already threatening to grow back.

 

“I love the stars out here. The sky never seems so black.”

 

“They’re beautiful aren’t they. You don’t see them like this anywhere else.”

 

They were silent for a few moments.

 

“How are you?”

 

Kili sounded surprised when he answered. “Fine. Wonderful. It’s a wedding. Why?”

 

“Well – we didn’t see it coming.”

 

“Not at _all_. But I’m happy for them.” Kili nodded in the dark, speaking half to himself. “Yes. I am. Really.”

 

“I’m glad.” Fili pressed his cheek into Kili’s hand. “You know the last thing on earth anybody wanted to do was make you upset.”

 

“I’m not _upset_. I never was, just surprised.”

 

Fili thought Kili was finished, but his voice floated out of the darkness again.

 

“You know how long it’s been since my dad died? Ten years. And in all that time, she hasn’t been with anyone else. _Anyone_ ,” Kili repeated. “She loved my dad in a way that she could never replace him. She deserves to be happy. And Bilbo’s not my dad, and never will be, but he’s not trying to be. They’ve taught me a lot.”

 

The last part confused Fili somewhat. “How do you mean?”

 

“Like that marriage isn’t all about one kind of love. My mum told me that someone once told her ‘marry your best friend’ and she said she has.”

 

“But they’re not _in_ love.”

 

“They don’t have to be. Well, they are in love – in their own way. A kindof platonic way. Or in the way that friends who care about eachother a lot and kiss on the mouth are.”

 

“I don’t have any friends like that,” Fili noted.

 

“I hope not!” Kili retorted. Fili grabbed his hand and kissed it.

 

Kili wiggled a finger into Fili’s mouth and Fili grunted in surprise and disgust, spitting it out. Kili snickered.

 

“Well, that was cathartic until _that_ happened.”

 

“I’ll say. I’m done with DMCs for a while.” Fili got to his feet, offering a hand down. “Bed?”

 

“Get you, party animal. Tired already?”

 

“I’m knackered,” Fili admitted.

 

“Is this what happens when you’re old?”

  
“I’m not old. I’ll remind you of this when you’re this age.”

 

Kili nuzzled into Fili’s neck, sappy warmth rising within him at the thought that Fili still imagined him in his life in five years to come.

 

“Just teasing. I’m bushed too.”

 

“Shh!” They stopped, a few steps into the palm forest that fringed the white sands of the beach. They could hear shuffling footsteps, low voices. Dimly they made out two shadowy figures, pressed against a palm. The wet sloppy sounds of two people making out ardently met their ears, coupled seconds later with low moans.

 

“ _Oh Tauriel…”_

 

_“Leggy..”_

 

“EEEEWWWW!” Fili exploded, grabbing Kili’s hand and taking off up the sandy path. Shocked, stricken voices shouted after them.

 

“Was that your _brother?”_

 

“Fucking hell, Fili what are you doing here, _get lost_!”

 

“I’m telling Bilbo!” Fili yelled over his shoulder, collapsing, panting, as they reached the verandah of the hosue. “ _Urgh_ I think I’m scarred for life.”

 

“I don’t think Tory’s so happy about it either,” Kili pointed out.

 

“Those _sounds_ , they will be the stuff of my nightmares for years to come.”

 

“You know, you’re not really one to talk about _sounds_ ,” Kili purred, moving closer and wrapping his arms around Fili, grazing his teeth along Fili’s neck.

 

Fili appeared to have no argument to that.

 


	20. Bad Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What with the holidays, his family visiting and the wedding, Kili has had to take a lot of time off - something Kili has to make up for by working late, which he does happily and earnestly. Though eventually working hard takes its toll…

Kili didn’t check the clock when he finally made it back to the bungalow, but he knew Fili would be long asleep. His thoughts were confirmed as he opened the door, after fumbling for a few seconds with the keyhole in the dim light, and found all was dark and quiet. He made it to the bathroom, and after twenty seconds of brushing his teeth decided he was too exhausted to do any more so stripped, leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor and tiptoeing into their bedroom.

 

A chink of light from the hallway streamed into the room, and Kili saw Fili had his back to the door and was snoring softly. Kili crept into bed, trying to cause as little disturbance as possible. He didn’t want to wake Fili, but he couldn’t resist resting one hand on Fili’s hip for just a second and nosing into his warm bare back.

 

Kili may not have meant to wake Fili, but he had. Fili’s mind had stirred as soon as he heard the distant rattle of the front door being unlocked and faint footsteps padding around. When a the mattress on the other side sank a little and cold nose pressed lightly into his back he rolled over.

 

“Oh no, go to sleep,” a tiny voice said, even as the arms belonging to said voice wound round him, pressing them together.

 

“You work too hard,” Fili told him sleepily.

 

“Mmhm,” Kili uttered, stifling a yawn. He was already asleep when Fili pressed a gentle kiss to his dark-haired temple.

 

……

 

Again, it was late. It was even later than the night before. Kili had deliriously considered drinking coffee for a few hours, thinking there was barely any point in going home given that he had to be back in town by eight, but eventually exhaustion had won out, and the thought of even a half-hour snatch of sleep was too tempting to give up.

 

He struggled with the key in the dark outside the door. Every time he scraped it around the keyhole, it never seemed to fit, being either at the wrong angle or the wrong way or even the wrong damn key. Kili was frustrated and on the verge of tears before he finally managed to get the door open. He fumbled for the nearest lamp and clicked it on, pouring himself a glass of water from the tap on automatic pilot before remembering he wasn’t allowed to do that, he had to drink filtered water here, but by that point it was too late, the water was down his throat and he was already stumbling into a chair by the kitchen table.

 

He was so _tired_ even breathing seemed an effort. He didn’t register moving until his head was pillowed on his arms. He should get to bed, it would be much more comfortable but Kili felt like this was no longer his body – what his mind was reasoning, what his mind was telling his legs to do they weren’t doing. _Maybe this is what they call an out-of-body-experience_ , he pondered dimly, disjointed thoughts swirled through his mind at different levels, and sleep, sleep…

 

Hands were under his armpits, scooping him upright. Kili knew it could only be one person and he clung to him inadvertently, his legs felt like jelly, _so tired_. Fili scooped a hand under his butt and Kili’s shoulders and arms flopped over Fili’s shoulder. He almost registered that he should be embarrassed to be carried like a baby, or rather like a sack of potatoes, into bed, but it felt so good he didn’t care. He wasn’t awake when Fili laid him on the mattress, nor when he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled off his dressy trousers and lace-up shoes.  

 

Presently he began to feel like he was rising from a shipwreck at the very bottom of the sea. It was a long, slow journey floating to the surface, blissful as he ebbed, peacefully and gently, up towards the light. The sensation of his eyes slowly opening after hours of being shut (practically _gummed_ shut, he thought with distaste) made him think of his head breaking the surface of the water. Immediately he was alert, eyes snapping to the clock on the bedside table.

 

“ _Shit_!” he cursed, but before he could leap out of bed, a heavy warm hand closed over his arm.

 

“I already called you in sick,” Fili told him. “You haven’t slept in three days. You need a break.”

 

Kili was going to groan but inside he was grateful. He felt better than he had done for days. That is, until he sneezed.

 

“Sounds like maybe I wasn’t lying,” Fili said, handing Kili a wad of tissues to mop up the landslide of mucus that seemed to have dislodged itself with Kili’s sneeze.

 

“Why am I sick?” Kili asked miserably.

 

“Because you stressed yourself ill, that’s why. You have to take care of your body,” Fili chided gently. Kili snorted derisively.

 

“In that case, I demand you be my nurse.”

 

“Very well, your wish is my command.”

 

“I said a nurse, not a genie.”

 

“Shut up, or I won’t bring you food.”

 

Kili sat up hopefully. “Food?”

 

Fili laughed, tossed Kili a jumper and some trackies. “But not in bed, last time that happened time the crumbs drove me mental.”

 

Kili followed Fili to the kitchen where Fili pushed a mug of hot tea with lemon and honey into his hands and began boiling water for pasta. Soon they were both sat in front of steaming bowls of fusilli, Kili wolfing his down as usual.

 

It wasn’t long before Kili was hurtling into the bathroom, retching violently into the toilet.

 

“Was my pasta that bad?”

 

Kili belched in reply.

 

Kili vomited twice more in the space of an hour, until all the food inside him was gone and it hurt every time he moved. Fili braided his sweaty hair back from his face and offered him mouthwash. He peered into his face concernedly. Kili tried to smile, but a painful lurch of his stomach stopped him.

 

“What brought this on?”

 

Kili groaned, remembering. “I may have drank a cup of tap water yesterday…”

 

“Oh Kili, you muppet.”

 

Fili pulled out his phone.

 

“What are you doing? I don’t need the sodding hospital, it’s probably just a twenty-four-hour bug or something.”

 

“I’m calling the office. I had to go in tomorrow, but someone’s going to have to cover for me.”

 

“What? Oh Fili, don’t do _that_!” Kili protested. “I’ll be fine, I’ll probably be fine tomorrow.”

 

Fili dialled and stood up, walking into the other room as he started talking. Kili was too tired to keep arguing. He staggered into the sitting room and flopped onto the sofa miserably. The minor effort of that was already making his head spin.

 

 _Maybe if I puke on it, the purple will go another colour_ , he thought dully, staring at the violently violet sofa cushion right below his nose _. Maybe it’ll be an improvement. It could hardly make it_ worse _._

 

He felt Fili sit down and pull his feet onto his lap. “I’m really sorry. They can’t find someone to cover for me, I’m going to have to go in tomorrow.”

 

“That’s fine,” Kili sighed, closing his eyes. “How long you going for?”

 

“No, no, I’m not going away. Just need to go in to do some admin stuff. I’ll be back in the afternoon.”

 

……

 

The next morning, Kili barely registered Fili kissing him gently on the forehead and whispering a goodbye. When he properly opened his eyes some hours later, he saw Fili had left him mug and a hot thermos full of spiced tea on the bedside table.

 

He allowed a feeling of fondness to overwhelm him for a second, then poured himself a mug. Blanket wrapped tightly around him, he padded into the kitchen, guiltily adding two more sugars to his mug of tea; he could tell Fili had already added some, but he didn’t seem to realise how much sugar Kili really liked.

 

He regretted ingesting anything at all an hour later as it hurled itself back up his throat. After that he was too tired again to do anything but crawl to the ugly sofa, pausing to rest on the floor for ten minutes before painstakingly heaving himself onto the cushions.

 

He didn’t realise how long he’d been there, dozing with the radio on in the background, working its way into his fuddled brain and mixing with his dreams, before Fili was back.

 

“Hey.”

 

Kili tried to reply but his throat was too dry. He coughed, and once he started he couldn’t stop.

 

“Here,” Kili felt a glass of water being pushed into his hand and he gulped at it. “Get this off, you’re boiling.”

 

“N-no!” Kili grabbed at the blanket Fili was trying to pull away and clutched it around his shoulders. “M’cold.”

 

“Kee.” Fili’s voice sounded deeply concerned as he pulled Kili into his arms. “You’re burning up.”

 

“I’m still cold.” He coughed again but managed to control it before it became another fit. “It’s just the flu. I’m mucusy and miserable.”

 

Fili made dinner again that night but Kili didn’t feel up to eating, which worried Fili more than any amount of vomiting or sneezing ever could. He went to bed early, despite having done nothing but sleep all day, and Fili went with him.

 

……

 

“You look _awful_ ,” Grace commented as Fili came into the office the next morning.

 

“Kili’s sick,” Fili told her tiredly, flumping down in a wheely chair behind her desk, which creaked in protest. “I don’t know what’s wrong. We thought it was just a bug but he’s not getting better. I’m worried.”

 

“You should get him to a doctor. Has he been away from Nairobi recently?”

 

Fili frowned, thinking. “He was away a few weeks ago, doing fieldwork. He’s been working so hard recently, I thought he was just overtired and had the flu. And then he said he’d drank the tap water, and it looked like food poisoning.”

 

“What else is there?”

 

“He’s not eating... he’s sleeping all the time… he’s coughing…”

 

“Phil, you need to get him to hospital.”

 

Fili looked up at her, surprised. “Hospital?”

 

“It sounds like it could be malaria!”

 

“Fuck,” Fili cursed under his breath, his blood suddenly running cold. “Why didn’t I think of that?” he berated himself. “I – I need to leave!”

 

Fili was grateful for the lack of traffic wardens as he sped at least twenty miles over the limit back to the bungalow, but even as he shoved his keys in the lock and ran towards the bedroom, calling Kili’s name, his mind reeled as he saw an inert body flopped in the corridor, he was too late.

 

……

 

“I fell asleep.”

 

“You collapsed!”

 

“I fell asleep!”

 

Kili glared at Fili, batting the plastic tube of the IV drip connected to his wrist out of his eyes. “Honestly, Fili, what did you think happened? I was just coming back from the bathroom and I was so tired I just didn’t make it back to bed, ok?”

 

“You would have rather slept on a hard wood floor than make the extra few metres to the soft, comfy bed?”

 

“Well, it’s the truth,” Kili muttered, colouring.

 

Fili opened his mouth to say something, he wasn’t sure what, when Kili looked up expectantly and Fili turned to see a doctor approaching.

 

“Hello. Kirian? My name is Dr. Geeta. We’d like to take a blood sample and if you don’t mind, I’ll need to ask you a few questions about your symptoms.”

 

“I’m feeling much better actually,” Kili began and Fili glowered at him. Kili rolled his eyes. “Sorry. He’s a bit over-protective.”

 

“Always better to be over-cautious than under-cautious,” Dr Geeta advised and Fili flipped Kili the bird from behind her back. He stayed in the room while Dr Geeta asked Kili about how he was feeling, when it started, etcetera etcetera, nodding and pursing her lips occasionally.

 

“Alright. If you wouldn’t mind just baring your arm, please?”

 

Kili presented his elbow obediently, closing his eyes as the needle entered his bloodstream and not looking as the viscous, dark liquid was drawn out of him and carried away. When Dr Geeta was gone, promising to be back with results in a few hours, he went back to glowering at Fili but was interrupted by his phone ringing.

 

He glanced at the caller ID with horror. “ _Please_ don’t tell me you told my mum about this!”

 

Fili shrugged and Kili’s scowl grew darker as he swiped across the screen, choosing not to answer his mother’s undoubtedly hysterical call. “I’ll call her back when we get home.”

 

“Who says we’re going home?”

 

“Fili, I’ve had the flu hundreds of times, you didn’t have to bring me here!”

 

“Calm down, it’s not as if I had you sectioned,” Fili muttered but Kili didn’t hear him over his own grumbling.

 

“Honestly, so much fuss. And over nothing!”

 

……

 

The drive back home was silent. Fili was silent because he was mad, Kili because he knew that if he opened his mouth he wouldn’t be able to stop himself saying “I told you so.”

 

They pulled up in the drive and Fili jumped out, opening the door for Kili before Kili had even moved. He accepted the hand held out for him as he climbed out. He let go when they opened the front door and went into the kitchen; he was long overdue a cup of tea. He stuck the kettle under the tap to fill it (it was fine to make tea with tap water, as long as you made sure the water was fully boiled before you drank it). He didn’t realise Fili had followed him until he spoke.

 

“Say something. Don’t be mad.”

 

Kili turned around, surprised. “I’m not mad.”

 

“Aren’t you?” Fili looked at him doubtfully.

­

“I don’t get mad. You don’t think I’m _that_ immature do you?” Kili laughed, but it ticked his throat and it turned into a minor fit. Fili stroked his back and offered him the cup of brewing tea when he was done, which he accepted gratefully.

 

“You weren’t talking. I wasn’t sure what to think.”

 

“The only reason I wasn’t talking was because I knew the first thing to come out of my mouth would be ‘I told you so’.”

 

The sound that came out of Fili’s mouth was somewhere between a laugh and a groan that quickly subsided as the sounds of Kili’s hacking cough filled the room again.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly when he was finished.

 

“Yeah.” Kili smiled at him. “I might go to bed though. All that hospital stuff was over-exerting.”

 

“Sorry,” Fili mumbled. “Well, at least we learned you have bronchitis.”

 

“Yes. Bronchitis and a tummy bug. _Not_ malaria.” Fili still looked a little guilty, so Kili snuggled into his side by way of truce. “Coming for a nap?”

 

Fili smiled. “I was hoping for an invite.”

 

……

 

They were both grateful when Kili’s contract finally ended, and with it the long nights, and he moved on to a more hands-on role as a supporting researcher for an organization called Hands Off Our Elephants.

 

He almost burst with pride and excitement and couldn’t wait to tell Fili the day they informed him he would be placed as part of a team monitoring a herd in Tsavo containing a male named Tamau, one of the last of the Big Tuskers, who was currently under twenty-four hour surveillance by the Kenya Wildlife Service, or KWS. The group would consist of three KWS rangers and Kili; he would be joining them for two weeks while the researcher who usually went with them was on leave. During that time he would be collecting dung samples and recording the elephants’ general health and behaviour. Fili was delighted for him, though he knew he’d miss him terribly.

 

On the Monday they were both due to leave, they got a cab together and dropped Fili off at Tampani, where he would be picking up a group of tourists to do a safari in Samburu. Kili went on to Wilson Airport, where he climbed onto a miniature six-seater plane, landing with a rumble and a bump on an airstrip just outside of Tsavo East, where a khaki-coloured KWS vehicle was waiting to pick him up for his biggest adventure yet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili hates hospitals because they remind him too much of his dad. 
> 
> Tamau is made up. However, the organization Hands Off Our Elephants is not! If any of this interests you, do go and check out their Facebook page and their work - https://www.facebook.com/HandsOffOurElephants
> 
> if anyone is wondering where the title comes from, the word 'malaria' means 'bad air' because thats how people originally thought malaria was passed - couldn't think of any other title, and kind of gives a hint as to what comes later in the chapter :P
> 
> as always, please kudos/comment if you enjoyed! X
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO exciting news: i've started writing up a few of the little deleted-scenes/snippets i've imagined in this story/universe, and soon should be posting them on a little side-story-collection-dumping ground. ill let you know when its ready! next chapter is also practically finished, so it should be up next week.


	21. Tamau

The fire danced in the wind, crackling but not enough to cover the soft sounds of the grazing elephants, meters away from them in the trees. It lit up their faces as they crouched around the fire, casting a flickering orange light over each as they listened the soft tearing of undergrowth and the occasional snap as the elephants brought down another bough. Kili was on the ground, knees bent with his elbows resting on them. He would have missed Fili, if he hadn’t been so busy, and would have called him, except for the lack of reception.

 

They didn’t have tents as the night was warm enough and they had to be ready to follow in case the elephants moved; tonight though they seemed relatively stationary, having found a good patch of healthy trees with fresh bark.

 

Kili was quiet, listening intently to the murmured low conversation of the rangers around him – he was trying to pick up as much Swahili as he could. A ripping sound, accompanied seconds later by an almighty crack, rent the air and Kili would have jumped had he not know what it was – the few around the fire chuckled. The elephants had evidently pushed over another tree. They would see the evidence in the morning: boughs bent completely out of shape, drooping towards the ground whereas they stood proudly erect the day before, naked pale wood now exposed on the trunks where the elephants had torn the bark away. Kili winced at the sound of what sounded like a great sheet being peeled away painfully – though the bark had high levels of nutrients and salts that fed the elephants, it was hard not to feel sorry for the trees as the elephants shredded them expertly with their tusks.

 

“ _Habari_ , _Kili_?” The man next to him, in his khaki Kenya Wildlife Service uniform, smiled at him as he passed him a cracker. Kili accepted it with a grin. This was Joseph, who had made him feel especially welcome ever since he arrived.

 

“ _Mzuri sana_.”

 

“ _Mzuri, mzuri_ …” he smiled. “We’re going to go in the jeep and do a quick patrol around the group to make sure they’re all here.”

 

“I’ll stay here if you need someone to stay,” he offered.

 

A few of the other officers grunted their approval as they got to their feet. Joseph clapped him on the shoulder and told him they’d be back soon.

 

They returned after twenty minutes with nothing to report: all members of the group were accounted for and Tamau was safely in the midst of them, enjoying his midnight feast.

 

It was only eight but already pitch-black save for the light of the fire. They stayed up talking for another ten minutes before it was time to bunker down. Kili volunteered to be on first watch with Joseph while the other two slept. He enjoyed staying up late with Joseph, because Joseph was great company and had also taken up giving him Swahili lessons. They passed a packet of biscuits between them (Joseph, like Kili, had an almost insufferable sweet tooth), keeping their voices low so as not to disturb the others: “ _Ndovu_.” “… _Ndovu_ …” “ _Kwamba ni ndovu._ ” “ _Kwamba ni ndovu…_ ”

 

A few hours later, they woke the other two and were crawling into their own sleeping bags when suddenly Elliot waved his hand, shushing them. “Hey! _Gari!_ ”

 

 _Gari –_ car. Kili shoved himself out and they were all on their feet, listening as the sound of an engine got louder. They saw no headlights but a few seconds later they heard it halt, the engine switched off, doors opening, slamming shut, the metallic click as rifles were slung over shoulders.

 

“Poachers!”

 

It was adrenaline, fear numbing him and whipping his blood into a frenzy as he into ran blindly behind the others into the darkness, towards the sound of voices. Kili registered the three KWS guards ahead of him, readying their guns, shouting words at eachother, voices tinged with anger and panic and still he ran.

 

It was dark, his breathing was heavy as he heard other shouts, unfamiliar voices, sounding more panicked. He sped up, trying to catch up with the others, wondering what he could do, he didn’t have a gun, what if he would only be putting them or himself in more danger, but before he could reconsider his foot caught on something, a stone, a root, who knew in this pitch-darkness, and sudden white hot pain jolted through his leg as he slammed into the ground. He could still hear the shouts up ahead, sounds of heavy booted feet crashing through the undergrowth, getting further and further from his hearing range. He heard a car he recognised as the KWS jeep, then saw its headlights blaring as it raced past him and all he could do was writhe on the ground in _agony_ , feeling like a firework had just gone off inside his ankle.

 

He heard the trampling of bushes, the elephants crashing away, the KWS jeep, yells. Shots rang out, meeting his ears. “No!” he screamed, but the words never left his mouth as, awash with hot pain, he gave in to the burning, inky blindness before his eyes. The shots were the last thing he heard as he passed out.


	22. Unexpected News

He was awake. He felt cotton sheets underneath his fingers and groped at them. He tried to shift on the bed, but his ankle shot tendrils of stinging pain up his legs and he gasped, opening his eyes. He looked down, then wished he hadn’t – it had been cleaned, but there were still traces of black blood on the swollen appendage that used to be recognisable as a foot.

 

“Hello, Kili.” He looked up and saw a familiar face – Dr Geeta. Her face was kind, but her brows creased in concern. “Back again.”

 

“Is he alright?” he asked.

 

Confusion crossed Dr. Geeta’s face. “Who?”

 

“Tamau! Is Tamau alright?” Kili’s eyes were wild and he made to sit up but the searing in his ankle stopped him moving any further.

 

“The elephant is fine. You should be worried about _you_ right now. Your colleagues brought you back to the main gate and the drive wasn’t good for your leg. We took x-rays as soon as you got here, but we had to put you on laughing gas from the pain.”

 

Kili squinted as he delved into the hazy mess of his memory – he vaguely remembered arriving now, trundled into the hospital on a stretcher and felt flooded with nausea as he remembered the sickening feeling of it, his ankle _burning_ torturously until it had been easier to pass out than try to endure it any more.

 

“KILI!”

 

“Fili!” Kili’s head whipped around and he saw Fili storming towards him. He looked worse than Kili felt, his hair coming loose from the tie holding it back, still in his uniform polo and work trekking shoes.

 

“Jesus, are you okay?” he said thickly into Kili’s hair as he enveloped him in a brief, tight hug.

 

“I’m fine, weren’t you meant to be in Samburu?”

 

“Dropped them off with someone else, they’ve arranged a cover for me, I got back as soon as I could. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier, just heard something about Tamau and poachers and then you _being choppered to hospital_ , I got here as quick as I could…”

 

“I’m fine,” Kili repeated, confused. “What time is it?”

 

“Six? I was just talking to Joseph outside, he’s had to leave now but he’ll be so relieved you’re okay, are you sure you’re alright?”

 

Dr Geeta cleared her throat awkwardly.

 

“We’ll have to operate soon. Later today, if possible. You can go home the day after tomorrow if we decide everything is alright.”

 

“Okay.” Kili wasn’t really interested in hearing about his ankle at the moment, he just wanted to talk to Fili, but Fili was listening to Dr Geeta intently, nodding at whatever she was saying. She finally seemed satisfied that they’d understood, then turned and left.

 

“Where are they now?” Kili said immediately.

 

“Joseph drove you to the gate and stayed with you while they flew you back out. They didn’t let him in while they were doing the x-rays, I met him outside, he told me everything.”

 

“And the elephants? The shots – who were they?”

 

“It was Elliot and John. They tried to scare them off and it worked, the poachers fired a few shots back but didn’t hit anyone.”

 

“So the group is safe? And Tamau is okay?” Kili confirmed.

 

“Yes.” Kili let out a long sigh as relief washed through him. Fili went on. “They’re trying to track down the vehicle the poachers used to try and trace them.”

 

“It was dark,” Kili mused. “You couldn’t see anyone – even if they did track down the vehicle, how could they possibly find anyone?”

 

The grim line of Fili’s face affirmed Kili’s thoughts – they’d probably abandoned the vehicle, and even if they hadn’t, they could be anywhere. It would be near impossible to find out who really planned this, who had almost — it didn’t bear thinking about. Dejected, Kili flopped back on his pillows.

 

“It’s not _fair_ ,” he growled through gritted teeth.

 

He reached out for Fili’s hand, realising now this was the first time they’d seen eachother in almost two weeks; but Fili pulled away, glancing awkwardly around, seeming to notice for the first time the other patients in the surrounding beds. “Not now,” he muttered.

 

Kili didn’t want to feel angry, but he was frustrated and exhausted and his ankle was throbbing, no longer dulled by the adrenaline and momentary relief that had been coursing through him only minutes before. “Why?” he hissed.

 

“It’s… it’s not really accepted here,” Fili mumbled, so quietly Kili could barely hear him. “It’s illegal.”

 

Kili flushed, both in anger and for being so stupid. Of course he knew that, of course he shouldn’t expect Fili to flaunt it in a public place, but right now he didn’t care. “I don’t give a _shit_!”

 

“ _Kili_ ,” Fili snarled through gritted teeth. “Don’t. You don’t even want to know what happened to James when they found out.”

 

Fantastic. Now Fili was bringing his ex-boyfriend into the conversation.

 

Fili kept his voice low as he went on. “He was proud. He wasn’t scared to show it. I’m fucking lucky it’s only my dad who doesn’t accept me. His family disowned him. They never want to see him again. That’s why he’s living and working in Europe now.”

 

“I get it,” Kili snapped, wanting him to stop. He only felt worse now, simultaneous guilt and rejection mixing with the leftover shell-shock from the night before, and he was still angry. He withdrew his hands and folded them over his chest, his fists so tightly clenched the tendons in his arms were sticking out.

 

“Are you in pain?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you want morphine?”

 

“Not _that_ kind of pain,” Kili snapped waspishly.

 

“Don’t be like that.”

 

“Like fucking _what?”_

“Keep your voice down!”

 

Fili’s nostrils flared as he regarded Kili, eyes turned deliberately away from him and his lips pressed together in a thin, unyielding line. He stomped over to the corner of the room, where several screens on wheels were stashed and pushed two of them over, blocking them from view.

 

“Happy now?” he hissed.

 

Dr Geeta returned, making no comment about he screens they had pushed around the bed. She held up two sheets of black vellum in her hand.

 

“I’ve got your x-rays,” she told him.

 

Fili’s phone started ringing. He reached into his pocket and took it behind the screens to make the call, almost glad of an excuse to leave Kili’s frosty presence.

 

“Hello? Oh, hi.”

 

“Luckily, it’s a clean break…” Dr Geeta continued to Kili, but Fili’s voice filtered in from just behind the curtain, distracting him: “Yeah, fine. How are you?… Y– what?”

 

Kili’s ears pricked up at Fili’s conversation. “Oh my God, that’s – wow. How…”

 

“…It was a hell of a fall.” Dr Geeta was silent for a few seconds, and Kili realised he was expected to respond.

 

“Uh, yeah,” he replied hastily.

 

Fili had been quiet for some time, only emitting the occasional hum or “Ah,” of agreement. Kili’s curiosity was piqued.

 

“I’ll be back later. Any more questions before I go?

 

“No,” he answered quickly. It sounded as if Fili was rounding up his conversation.

 

A minute or so later he appeared again around the screen. He looked slightly dumbfounded. Kili sat up in bed, his previous ire forgotten.

 

“What’s the matter?” he asked, and Fili opened his mouth, seemingly too shocked to speak right away.

 

“It’s Tory,” he replied slowly.

 

“And?” Kili prompted.

 

“She’s pregnant.”

 

Kili froze.

 

“I’m – going to be an uncle,” Fili finally finished, a hesitant smile stretching across his face.

 

Kili felt as if he’d been hit on the head with a frying pan. “Congratulations?” he offered.

 

“I guess – I guess so, yeah.”

 

“Are she and Leggy…“

 

“Still together, yeah.” Fili read the thought burning in Kili’s eyes. “Although I don’t think… well.” He looked broodingly at the bedframe next to Kili’s head.

 

They were quiet. Fili brought some samosas from a street seller outside, and they ate quietly. At last Kili said, “I’m sorry,” and Fili said, “That’s okay.” The last hour had been an emotional rollercoaster for both of them.

 

Fili’s phone rang again, Bilbo’s name blinking on the Nokia screen. “Hello. Yes, she rang. I know, how exciting!”

 

Fili gestured at him a few minutes later, mouthing _It’s your mum_. Kili took the phone and smiled as Dis’ voice filled his ears.

 

“ _Kili! Hi darling, I suppose you’ve heard the news.”_

“Of course.” Fili was watching him and Kili offered him a small smile. “It’s great isn’t it?”

 

_“Great! Wonderful! Gosh, I’m so happy, I feel like I’m about to become a grandmother!”_

“You might as well be.”

 

 _“Hey, I’m not that old_.”

 

“I _meant_ Tory’s like a daughter to you and –“ but Dis wasn’t listening, her own excitement clearly too effervescent to stay bottled up. “ _I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it! Seven more months and OH I wonder if it’s going to be a boy or a girl. It’s lovely to hear from you darling, how’s your new job? Wait a minute, I thought you were meant to be out in Tsavo? Where are you??”_

 

“Um… in hospital?”

 

“ _Again_?” Dis voice was suddenly shrill and Kili winced, holding the phone a few inches away from his face.

 

“Mum, it’s fine, I’m – “

 

“ _Are you all right? Is Fili alright? Oh my god, what’s happened_?”

 

Kili waited til she drew in a shaky breath, and then took advantage of her silence to get a word in edgeways. “I’m fine. And Fili’s fine. I’ve just broken my ankle or something.”

 

_“’Or something?’ What were you doing?”_

 

“Ah…” Kili wondered whether his mother’s heart was stable enough to endure the consequent stroke if he told her there were guns involved.

 

_“Pass me to Fili.”_

 

“Why?” Kili protested, offended.

 

 _“He’ll tell me the truth. I know you’re holding out on me to not make me worried, but I’d rather know_ everything _!”_

 

“You’d worry if I told you I had a papercut,” Kili muttered, but passed the phone to Fili.

 

Fili gave him a rueful smile as he put the phone to his ear and began relaying all that had happened and all the details of the upcoming surgery that he could remember. Kili settled back on his pillows – while he felt a little resentful that his mother would rather hear the story from Fili than from him, he was glad not to be on the receiving end of the inquisition. In addition, his ankle was starting to twinge again, making him feel a little queasy. He breathed deeply.

 

Fili finally hung up and Kili heard him let out a long breath. “They’re coming down next weekend. She sends her love and best of luck.”

 

“Nice,” Kili grumbled. “Sending her love through someone else when I’m _right here_. That’s motherly.”

 

“She wanted to talk to you, but you don’t look so good.” Kili felt the bed dip on his left side as Fili sat down next to him. “You’re a bit pale. How are you doing?”

 

“Hurts a bit,” he admitted, his eyes staying shut.

 

“I can ask someone for some more painkillers.”

 

“If you could – please.” Kili wasn’t one usually for accepting help so readily, but the discomfort in his ankle was swallowing his pride.

 

“No need,” said a familiar voice and Kili opened his eyes groggily to see Dr Geeta. “We’re ready for you now.”

 

Kili eyed her warily as she injected something into the bag attached to the drip in his arm.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Ketamine. It’s how we will be sedating you for the operation.”

 

“Ketamine? Isn’t that –“

 

“Yes, yes, it’s a horse tranquillizer. Like we’ve never heard that one before,” she added in a mutter. “But it’s for people too. Trust me, I’m a qualified doctor. I’ll be back soon, and we’ll be taking you to the operating room.”

 

Fili took his hand, squeezing gently.

 

“You’ll be fine,” he assured him soothingly. “Just think – how jealous Bard would be of you right now, huh?”

 

Kili tried to frown disapprovingly at the mention of Bard, but his facial muscles didn’t seem to be responding to his brain’s orders.

 

“My head feels funny.”

 

“You’ll be out soon.”

 

“Out where?”

 

“Out… Like out. Out like a light.”

 

“Like a light?”

 

“I think it’s starting to hit you,” Fili chuckled lightly but Kili didn’t appear to be listening. He was staring into space ahead of him, blinking deliberately in a way that suggested it took a lot of effort. He raised his hand, twined with one of Fili’s, looking mildly confused. Fili dropped a kiss to their interlocked fingers and ran a hand through Kili’s hair.

 

“You’ll be fine,” he said again, sensing Kili slipping further and further away. “It won’t hurt. And then we can go home.”

 

“I want to go home now,” Kili said quietly, so quietly Fili almost missed it. “I hate hospitals.”

 

“I didn’t know that.”

 

“Mm-hm. They remin’ me too much… of my dad.”

 

Kili’s eyes drifted shut; he appeared for all intents and purposes to be sleeping. Fili took both his hands gently, holding them tight and felt Kili half-heartedly trying to squeeze back. His breathing got deeper and slowed. Fili was about to quietly take his leave when Kili surprised him by saying something vaguely coherent, even if his words were a little muffled.

 

“We shd go’n see’t,” Kili garbled. “When its… when s’born…”

 

“You like babies, huh?”

 

“Babies are… great…” Kili slurred.

 

Kili could feel his consciousness slipping away from him, slowly yet surely like water in his cupped hands, but he could still detect the smile in Fili’s voice. “I think I’ve got some money in the bank.”

 

“Shure, Fee.” He was vaguely aware of Fili’s hand squeezing his one last time before everything turned dark.

 

……

 

When Kili opened his eyes, the world was mainly black. But also kindof blue. Blue, the kind of blue that night brought onto things that were white but lit up by the moon. There was a small red dot staring at him from the darkness. He wanted to check the time on his phone but he could feel that it wasn’t in his pocket. He stretched his hand to the floor to get his bag but his seatbelt was restricting his movement. He reached down to unclip it but suddenly it moved.

 

“Hi Kili.”

 

Kili realised he wasn’t holding a seatbelt, his hand wasn’t grasped around the plastic clip but a wrist. He recognised its voice when it spoke.

 

“Ffffffff…” Kili thought hard.

 

“Come on, you can do it.”

 

“Fff…”

 

“It’s like your name. Kili.”

 

“Ffff… Fili,” Kili finally managed. Kili felt a soft kiss drop onto his shoulder, by way of reward, he guessed. “Wher’e we?”

 

“We’re in a private room. You were – being a bit noisy.”

 

“M.. ne’r noisey.”

 

“Except when you sing. Then you’re quite noisy.”

 

His tongue felt like a slug in his mouth. He rolled it around a bit as memories of where he was and why they were here offered themselves, one at a time.

 

“Well, m’wake now, can we go’ome?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“I’mthinkng. Fili I cnthink like… ten things atatime.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Ye. My head isso full.” Kili decided ‘ye’ might be his new phrase. He liked it more than yes – it was so much easier to _say_. Maybe he would start saying it all the time. “Ye. Ye. Why’r you here?”  


“I can go if you want me to.”

 

Kili debated. “Neh,” he decided. “You’re ‘kay. You’n stay. You’re just cuddlin’me quite hard.”

 

“Sorry.” Fili loosened his arms. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Fynee. Great.”

 

“I bet you are.”

 

There was a silence.

 

“Ai wennoo’izelnd,” Kili told him. Fili strained his ears to catch the words. Kili’s voice was definitely clearer than when he first woke up, but it still sounded strange, his intonation not quite back to normal; trying to listen to him was a bit like trying to watch an erratic kite flying in the wind.

 

“What was that?”

 

“I… wentto Iceland.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You don’blieve me. I did.”

 

“I believe you, Kili.”

 

“You should. Cos I did.” Kili’s voice was starting to grow in clarity. “I saw th’lights. Th’arora borealis thingy. They looked like… jellyfish.”

 

“Like jellyfish?”

 

“Y’know… phos… pho… phosphor-serence,” he finally managed. “We did it… we went there. Me… and Flerin… and Tory-ell.”

 

“Why wasn’t I there?” Fili pouted.

 

“We asked you, r’mber? You didn’t wannu come. You hate the cold.”

 

“Ah, that’s true.” Fili felt heartened – then berated himself for even feeling FOMO in Kili’s dream in the first place. “Was it nice?”

 

“Whut?”

 

“Iceland.”

 

“Wz… collld.” Kili gestured suddenly in front of them – he undoubtedly meant it to be urgent but his hand betrayed him, flopping lazily by his side. “Luk! Look. Can’t you see them? Th’jellfish. They’r ther.”

 

“I see them,” Fili whispered, staring into the black wall ahead of them.

 

Kili hummed happily.

 

“Ther… btiful.”

 

“They are. Just like you.”

 

But his compliments were lost on Kili for the moment. Fili peeked over Kili’s shoulder and saw his glassy eyes glued to the apparition undoubtedly unfolding before his eyes, huge and black in the vague dim moonlight. He wasn’t worried – Dr Geeta had told him to expect delirium, hallucinations and vivid dreams for the next twenty four hours. So far, Kili was living up to his side-effects perfectly.

 

“I… seep.” Kili’s body was physically lolling in his arms.

 

“You do that,” Fili whispered.

 

Kili’s breathing became deep and low – about every third breath was a snore. Fili grinned into Kili’s hair. Kili didn’t know this was the third time he had woken, and the third time they had had almost the exact same conversation. The Iceland thing was new though – that must have been a new dream.

 

It wasn’t typical practise for patients to get their own room – they had only moved Kili after the effects of the Ketamine seemed to be taking longer to wear off than expected and Kili’s singing was threatening to keep the other patients from sleeping (at least it wasn’t the Lion King this time). Fili didn’t mind though, as the private room allowed him to climb onto the bed beside Kili and curl up around him as he slept off the drug; the hospital hadn’t been especially pleased with his insistence that he stay the night and Fili almost felt bad for causing them trouble, but here, his arms full of high, sleeping Kili, he didn’t. It had been a long two weeks apart and Fili felt cosily whole at finally being back together in one piece – well, just about.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you didn’t mind this chapter was extra-long, im realisng im awful at evening-out my chapters… 
> 
> Also disclaimer: I’m vaguely basing this chapter on the experiences a friend of mine had when they broke their ankle, and I don’t know how a 24-horu-surveillance on an elephant actually works, so if most of this is inaccurate, I do apologise!
> 
> I also apologise for having Kili in hospital two chapters in a row – although I can’t promise this is the last hospital you will see in this story…
> 
>  
> 
> AND ALSO: deleted scenes/snippets now open :) first one up! find it here
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3247208/chapters/7076144


	23. Hunters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some angst **throws in couples first proper fight**

The crisp alabaster plaster on Kili’s leg didn’t stay white and pristine for long – it was soon adorned with goodwill messages from everyone he knew. Frodo, who had never encountered a broken bone before, was only too happy to join in and in less than an hour managed to colour an entire landscape onto it, complete with a stickman rendition of the whole family and a herd of multi-coloured animals recreated in squiggly felt-tip lines.

 

Kili enjoyed his weekend being papered by Dis and Bilbo immensely. Wrongfully, he assumed Fili would take over pampering duties once they left, but his hopes were dashed when Fili told him none-too-sweetly to get lost following Kili’s careful deduction that walking down the hall to eat in the kitchen was too much of a strain on his precious leg, therefore making the best plan of action to be brought breakfast in bed every day until his cast came off (not an unreasonable request, he thought). Despite his no-nonsense tone of voice, Kili should have known that Fili was only saying it so he didn’t get the impression that he, Philip Peregrin Baggins, was completely pussy-whipped (an awful term, but there seemed to be no alternative) by his spoilt, silly boyfriend, which was of course, in no uncertain terms, the absolute irrefutable truth.

 

……

 

“Scoot. I need to get my computer.”

 

Kili made no effort to move, his eyes glued to the television.

 

“I need to check my emails,” Fili insisted. Kili still made no attempt to move, so with a huff, Fili reached around the cast-bound foot in his lap to grab his laptop from the coffee table. Kili whined in protest, but Fili knew it was from the inconvenience of his footstool shifting around rather than actual pain. Just to be annoying, he balanced his laptop on Kili’s cast; in spite of his derisive snort, Kili didn’t bother to remove his leg from Fili’s lap. Fili decided that Kili’s laziness had reached new peaks.

 

“You should get a smartphone. They tell if you receive an email so you don’t have to do the whole ritual of checking them every day,” Kili informed him for the umpteenth time, cramming a fistful of popcorn into his mouth as Fili scowled at the sheer amount of unread emails that had materialised in his inbox in the last twenty-four hours.  

 

“And be notified every time I get a piece of spam? _No_ thank you,” he retaliated, clicking ticks into little boxes. “Look at this! ‘The Diet Pill You Need Now, Melt Pounds In Mere Hours!’. Should I be offended? And ‘Three Ways to Make Your Wife’s Breasts Bigger.’” It was Fili’s turn to snort. “They clearly know me well.”

 

“Did you get any about how to make your dick bigger? Cos I wouldn’t mind.”

 

“My dick is a perfectly fine size, thank you very much.”

 

“Meh…”

 

“Or at least you weren’t complaining about it last night.”

 

Kili laughed, tuning out Fili’s continued grumbles about spam and “those people who send emails out to _everyone_ , can’t they just make a fucking mailing list? Even _I_ know how to do that”, as a few bangs and an explosion on the TV attracted his attention. It took him a few seconds to notice when Fili froze, his monologue cut off abruptly. He nudged him with his plaster-clad foot.

 

“Hey? What’s wrong?”

 

“Just my dad.”

 

“Oh.” Kili waited but Fili didn’t go on. “What’s happened?”

 

“He’s invited me to go to South Africa with him.”

 

Kili raised his eyebrows. “Is that a good thing?”

 

“Yeah… I guess.”

 

“It must be, it’s been over six months since you last saw eachother.”

 

“Six months is nothing,” Fili scoffed. “When I was at school I’d go stay at Bard’s for the holidays sometimes. Then it’d be almost a year.”

 

Silence fell as their attention turned again to the film – but somehow Hugh Jackman had lost his appeal.

 

“It would be good to – clear the air, I suppose,” Fili ventured.

 

“It would.” Kili stuffed another fistful of popcorn into his mouth but it tasted like cardboard and the relaxed atmosphere the lazy afternoon had soured like milk left in the sun. “Guess I’m not invited,” he added, trying not to sound bitter.

 

Fili winced. “Might be pushing it.”

 

“Fair ‘nuff.” Kili swallowed and sighed. “Not like I’m going anywhere with this bastard anyway.” He gestured at his leg and Fili smiled, leaning down to kiss the toes just sticking out of the plaster.

 

“Where is it? That he’s invited you to?”

 

“Family friend’s place, we used to go there often when I was a kid.” Fili’s eyes brightened. “I can show you pictures if you like.” His forehead furrowed. “As long as you promise not to laugh.”

 

Kili nodded fervently and Fili got up to rustle on the bookshelf for a photo album.

 

“About not laughing, I’m not sure I can promise that anymore,” Kili told him as he opened to the first page.

 

Fili rolled his eyes. “At least keep your snarky comments to yourself then.”

 

They flipped through the album, Kili doing his best to suppress his giggles at the dreadlocked Fili staring grumpily back at him from most of the photos. There were some stunning landscapes, and some pictures of a gorgeous cottage, set among manicured lawns and primly trimmed bushes.

 

“And _that_ is in the middle of the bush?!”

 

“Well, it is, but it’s in a kind of compound. It’s by the lodge, the whole area is done like that, it’s a pretty popular style.”

 

“Wow,” Kili breathed and Fili chuckled as he turned another page. Suddenly, Kili’s breath caught in his throat.

 

“What – what’s this?”

 

“You can go shooting there.”

 

The casualness in his tone made Kili’s blood freeze. He stared again at the photograph – Fili, Randy, and another man standing next to a dead lion. In this one, Fili was smiling. “What do you mean?”

 

“Hunting.” The frozen blood in Kili’s veins started to boil.

 

“You’re not – not going to go hunting are you?”

 

“I used to, but probably not this time. I expect the others will.”

 

“Elephants too?”

 

The sarcastic venom in Kili’s tone was lost on Fili as he shrugged. “Maybe.”

 

Kili’s rage seared. He leapt to his feet, or rather hobbled, and faced Fili, glowering. “You can’t _do_ that!”

 

Fili stood up too, looking puzzled. “Why not?”

 

“I can’t _believe_ this!” Kili shouted. “I’ve dedicated the past few months of my life contributing to this cause, I even got my fucking ankle _broken_ in the process,” he gesticulated wildly at his foot, throbbing from the speed of his movements, but the anger coursing through him made him cease to care. “You know how long this is going to take to heal? Weeks? No _months_ , Fee, and after everything, after _what we saw_ , you’re going to go ahead and go through with this?”

 

Fili had flinched violently when Kili brought up that horrible morning Tsavo, the flies and the blood flashing before his eyes before irritation swept sullenly through him.

 

“You don’t understand,” he snapped.

 

“Poaching, hunting, what’s the difference?” Kili continued savagely, as if he’d not heard him.

 

“It’s not as unethical as it sounds, and you don’t think people pay for the privilege? Hell, where do you think half the funding for conservation _comes from_?”

 

“That only makes it worse, it’s so hypocritical! These private conservancies are such bullshit, just a bunch of rich arseholes thinking they can do whatever the fuck they call ‘fun’ without thinking of the consequences for the real world!”

 

Fili took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. “Kili, it’s not like that. It’s more _culling_ than hunting, they don’t let you shoot healthy animals. They only pick off the oldest, weakest members of the herd, the ones who have already gone off on their own to die anyway.” Fili threw up his hands at Kili’s stoic face. “What do you want me to do, Kee?”

 

“Don’t go,” he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“I won’t hunt, if it makes you feel any better.”

 

“But _he_ will, you’ll still be supporting their horrible cause by being there, paying their entry fees, staying at their lodge, being there when _he_ does it,” Kili spat.

 

“What’s your problem?” Fili snapped suddenly, rounding on him. “Won’t you open your mind and see there’s a second side to everything?”

 

“It’s a disgusting practise that completely undermines everything we’ve ever believed in – or maybe it was just _me_ ,” Kili snarled.

 

“Don’t play _that_ card,” Fili retorted. “You know I –“

 

“Then don’t go!”

 

“And what? Pass up on this chance to make amends with my dad?”

 

Kili was silent. Fili knew that hadn’t been what Kili meant.

 

“I thought – you said it was ‘just anger’,” Kili said at last. “It was always ‘just anger’, towards your dad. ‘Just anger’ that’s what you _said_.”

 

“It was. But –“

 

“Your dad’s a wanker, Fili!”

 

“Kili –“

 

“You hate him, and I know you do. But you’re going to go anyway.” Kili’s voice was contemptuous, an edge there Fili had never heard before.

 

“He’s still my dad!” Fili could barely believe the words had left his mouth, but his ears couldn’t lie to him – he’d definitely said it. “I can’t just let this pass. Can’t you – can’t you see?”

 

There was a short silence. Kili seemed to have nothing to say. Except: “Does it have to be _this_ though?”

 

Fili shrugged. “It’s is what he offered. I don’t think I’m exactly in a negotiating position.”

 

Kili’s lips were pressed together, so much so the edges of his mouth were going white. “So that’s it. You’re going then. Have a sodding _ball_.”

 

“Yes.” Fili couldn’t help the tinge of defiance in his voice. He crossed the room and tried to gave Kili a hug, but Kili was unresponsive.

 

“Go fuck yourself, Fili,” Kili muttered, pulling himself free and storming down the corridor as fast as his plaster-clad ankle would let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hunting is indeed a thorny issue which I felt I had to mention, given that it is still a common occurrence and there is a very tricky moral debate around it. 
> 
> I’ve noticed that most of my chapters tend to be fairly self-contained, and everything is resolved within the chapter – not this time! 
> 
> hope you enjoyed Xx


	24. Fight and Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On second thoughts… he had been a bit of a tit.
> 
> But other problems lurk for Fili on the horizon...

On second thoughts… he had been a bit of a tit.

 

He’d been so angry at the time, he didn’t stop to think, convinced himself that he couldn’t forgive Fili for doing something so abhorrent – how could Fili live with himself if he watched his father shoot animals for pleasure, maybe even participated? He wondered if it was premature to ask Ori if he could move in with him.

 

But then he did stop to think. He spent a morning in front of his computer and what he found out made him reconsider - it wasn’t just some kind of anarchy, they _did_ only target the oldest or illest animals or the ones who were a danger to themselves or others. His eyebrows almost shot into the back of his head when he read the price – Fili was right, these people certainly did ‘pay for the privilege’ as he put it. None of this changed the fact that going out to shoot animals for sport was still sickening, but at least Fili wasn’t doing it. Kili only hoped that no one took pictures.

 

He wanted to call, but he knew Fili was getting no reception where he was and he didn’t want to ring the hotel staff, not for what the hotel staff would think or the fear that Fili would find him clingy, but because he didn’t want Fili’s dad to be reminded of his existence - it probably wouldn’t help if they were trying to make amends.

 

Still, he couldn’t suppress the slight edge of betrayal still harbouring like a stubborn ember within him. He had a dream that he was somewhere in the bush holding his hands above his head and screaming for Fili to listen as Fili stood in front of him, rifle raised, waiting to shoot. Kili woke up, feeling irrationally angry with Fili before he realised that it was just a dream – for one thing, Fili had been wearing the exact same outfit as Robert Redford in the _Out of Africa_ film, and for another, Fili loved him and would never do anything to hurt him or upset him on purpose.

 

……

 

Fili’s legs were still feeling like jelly as he stumbled towards a line of taxis. He numbly registered his own voice robotically relating his address, his body sliding into the backseat and hunching over to hold his head in his hands by his knees. By the time they arrived at the bungalow, the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon. He paid too much for the taxi, knew he was, knew the taxi driver was getting a kick out of ripping off the _mzungu_ travelling alone in the middle of the night, but Fili couldn’t think of anything except getting inside the house and collapsing onto the sofa.

 

He closed his eyes but after an hour of lying motionless and silent he accepted defeat and opened his eyes. It was funny how they said fear was draining; though his body felt exhausted, his mind was still reeling, far too doused in adrenaline to calm its rushing channels and let sleep come. He thought about going to bed, then thought better of it – Kili probably didn’t want to see him, and even if he did make it to bed, he would undoubtedly lie awake for hours, tossing and turning and waking Kili if he was asleep.

 

He half wished he’d called and asked Kili to pick him up at the airport – maybe it would have been nice to see a friendly face at arrivals. If it would have been friendly – there was no way of knowing if Kili was still angry (and righteously so, thought Fili, though he still had to accept there were two sides to every story). Maybe Kili wouldn’t have done it anyway, made up an excuse or just said a flat-out no – Fili wasn’t sure how he would have coped with either such rejection.

 

The fact that Kili hadn’t offered to come pick him up himself spoke volumes in itself anyway.

 

Fili looked down at his hands - were they trembling? He wondered if a shot would help calm him down, then tested his theory. It didn’t help the shaking, but his agitated mind seemed slightly dulled. He decided to take another, to see if he could flood his brain with alcohol and finally let sleep take him.

 

……

 

Kili could never hold a grudge. And after missing Fili for a straight, solid week (not _quite_ counting down the hours til he returned, though he’d been close), he did not expect to see him for the first time like this: grey-faced, wrecked, and boozy before ten in the morning.

 

“Bit early,” he commented by way of greeting, trying to seem breezy, and regretting it immediately as he realised how judgemental he sounded. Fili said nothing, staring into his glass as he contemplated its transparent contents.

 

Kili felt a lurch of guilt – the fight had been his fault, he knew, but he had no idea it had been quite that bad. Had Fili been like this all week, moping and drinking? Surely not.

 

Suddenly, something clicked.

 

“How was the flight?” he asked slowly.

 

Kili’s voice was reached Fili from what felt like miles away; he sounded hesitant, but spoke with the air of dawning realization.

 

“Bad,” Fili replied shortly. It was all he could bring himself to say. Impulsively he made to knock back the drink in his hand, but stopped himself as nausea rose within him at the memory, and he knew the acrid taste would only push him over the edge and probably send him spewing all over the counter.

 

“Are you alright?” Kili asked, but his question was answered for him as he came closer, his eyes watering at the strength of the smell that hit him. “Jesus, _gin_ , Fili?”

 

“We were out of vodka,” Fili tried to tell him, but his words were a little muffled, half strangled around the lump in his throat and half slurred from the drink. He wasn’t sure Kili had understood. He sensed rather than saw Kili extend a hand slightly, as if to comfort him. He focused on the liquid filling the glass in his shaking hand – cheap stuff, more akin to turpentine than liquor, really, emitting noxious fumes as it swirled in his cup.

 

He didn’t realise his face was wet until Kili finally touched his cheek and his fingertips came back glistening.

 

“Alright you, get up.”

 

Kili’s voice was unexpectedly authoritative, though kind. He pushed the glass out of Fili’s hand and grabbed him around the middle, firmly but gently steering him towards the bathroom. “You’re going to shower. And you’re probably going to puke, and then you’re going to go to bed.”

 

Fili’s heart sank at Kili’s prediction of him puking – hadn’t he done that enough recently? his stomach clenched painfully even thinking about it – but he did as he was told, barely managing to pull together enough coordination to shuck off his shoes and jeans, meekly raising his arms to let Kili tug off his t-shirt. He was grateful when Kili pulled the curtain around him, saving him a smidgen of dignity. The curtain had the slogan ‘Save Water, Shower With A Friend!’ gaudily emblazoned across it, they’d thought it was funny when they first bought it; Fili found himself staring at the blurry coloured letters as he scraped the smell of the plane from his skin and let the fresh soapy scent drive the airport’s recycled air from his lungs. All too soon, the promised bile rose in his throat and he threw himself on the floor in front of the toilet.

 

“Better now?” Kili asked softly as he hit the flush; Fili felt a light mist of cool clean water on his face and felt marginally refreshed.

 

“Kindof,” he croaked.

 

“Drink this.”

 

“Why?” Fili whined as a glass was pushed into his hand. Kili had been kind enough to put a straw in it.

 

“It’s rehydration salts. You’ll thank me later.”

 

Fili pulled a face but Kili gently stuck the straw in his mouth and he began gulping, slowing down when Kili reminded him not to drink too fast. He normally didn’t like the weird fake blackberry flavour of rehydration salts, but he couldn’t taste a thing; he guessed the gin had killed off his tastebuds.

 

Kili wrapped a kikoi around him and led him carefully to the bedroom, laying him down on the bed as gently as he could, Fili’s heavy unbalanced limbs problematizing the matter.

 

“Sleep, ok? It’s Saturday. There’s no places to be, just rest.”

 

“Stay with me?” Fili garbled. “In case… I have nightmares.”

 

He was _pitiful_ ; even he could recognise that, despite in his drunken, dazed state. But he was afraid, he often dreamt about flying after he’d travelled and the dreams always unsettled him, if they didn’t downright petrify him, and in the state he was in at the moment he knew he couldn’t face it alone. He stretched his arm out in Kili’s direction imploringly (the tiny sobering-up part of his brain sneered at him in disgust for his _patheticness_ ) but when he opened his eyes he realised that his hand had only made it a few inches. Nonetheless, Kili took it and squeezed.

 

“I’ll stay. You sleep now, though.”

 

“Thank you,” Fili mumbled incoherently, and minutes later, his brain gave up its sluggish fight for consciousness and finally, sleep came.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Top tip: having rehydration salts after drinking does help avoid a hangover (apparently). You’re welcome.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading, kudos/comments always welcome!! X


	25. London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to England to visit Tauriel and the expected baby

Booking pretty much at the last minute meant there were slim pickings as far as flights to England were concerned. So it came to be that they set their alarms for three AM, ready to be at the airport in time for take off at six, something Kili was half sure classified as inhumane and a human rights abuse.

 

Naturally, they overslept, and after thirty minutes of running around the house like headless chickens they finally made it to the airport, thankfully not as late as they feared. Apart from a smattering of similarly sleepy passengers, the airport was deserted. A measly café and a single small duty-free shop selling touristy kitch and bare essentials were the only other signs of life. Even Kili couldn’t bring himself to eat anything at such an ungodly hour, but wandered into the shop to buy some biscuits, knowing he’d be peckish later. Fili looked half-longingly at the cigarettes behind the cashier’s counter, but Kili shot him a warning look, and they paid and left.

 

They sat down outside their gate and waited for it to open. Fili’s knee bounced erratically on the cold granite floor, echoing slightly, and his fingers drummed maniacally on the metal armrest. Finally Kili took pity on him, went back into the shop and came out with a cellophane-wrapped box and a plastic lighter. Fili lit up with shaky hands.

 

“I bought you some deodorant as well, so you don’t stink on the plane.”

 

Fili couldn’t bring himself to laugh, but he gave a weak smile and squeezed Kili’s hand, hoping he realised how grateful he was. He would have voiced his emotions out loud but he was afraid he’d be sick.

 

……

 

_He could still smell her perfume in his nose if he concentrated, even twenty-four hours later. His anger had carried him through check-in and passport control, through security and he still felt no fear, even sitting in his seat hundreds of thousands of miles up in the air, the seething, bubbling fury overpowering him._

 

_It had been just a week, but a long week._

 

_Suddenly the tannoy, that desperately urgent ‘ping’ that tried so hard to be calm reverberated throughout the plane. Fili snapped his head up as he saw the seatbelt signs blink on and then a sudden jolt racked the plane. His ire left him as fear flooded every molecule of his body. He hadn’t had time to pick up any pills, nothing, there had been no pharmacy for miles where he was staying and nothing at the airport, and now turbulence?!_

 

_He tried hard not to hyperventilate as a cool female voice asked all passengers to return to their seats and buckle their seatbelts. The world swam in front of Fili’s eyes as he did as he was told, and the plane shook a second time. The view outside was nothing but thick white fog, they were drowning in it._

 

_Fili lunged forwards in his seat as the aircraft juddered again. A whining static buzzing started in his ears and the world pixelated into grainy black and white. He stuck his head between his knees, willing the nausea to subside, and barely had enough time to fumble the paper bag open before he vomited copiously into it. He felt the person next to him recoil slightly as he retched again, but there was nothing left, he’d only had a small breakfast this morning and skipped lunch, he’d been so angry he hadn’t noticed that his appetite had dissipated completely; burning bile forced its way upwards and out of him and Fili’s shrivelled stomach ached, as if it was clenched in a metal fist._

 

_He felt weak, drained, as the plane continued to jolt and quiver, finally shuddering into an giddy descent. His eyes were streaming, felt strained from almost popping out of his skill as he heaved, and he could feel a thunderous headache starting in addition to his shaky limbs._

 

_“Sir? Are you alright? Can we get you anything? Sir? Fili?”_

 

“Fee?”

 

Kili’s voice edged into his subconscious and Fili forced his eyes open. To his horror, he saw the nastily familiar tray table, the aisle running before him to his right, endless rows of uniform monotonous chairs, the curved suffocating tube above their heads, the dull constant roar that made his ears feel empty and let him know _just how far off the ground they were_.

 

“You were tensing up,” he heard Kili whisper and looked down at his hands, almost surprised to see Kili’s own covering them. “It didn’t seem like a good dream.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Fili croaked. “It was a memory. It was-” Fili cut himself off abruptly, not wanting to talk about it.

 

“My dreams never make any sense. They’re all just a jumble of things I’ve thought about throughout the day somehow put together.”

 

“You’re the lucky one,” Fili mumbled.

 

“We’re about to land. Buckle up, bush-boy.”

 

Fili inwardly groaned – landings were the worst part.

 

“You can hold my hand,” Kili said quietly, but Fili had had no intention of letting go of it in the first place. He tried not to clutch too hard, closing his eyes to the sight of the world swooping towards them, the jarring bump as the wheels hit the ground, the almighty rushing as the plane stopped – would it stop, would it stop, or would they combust into furious flames, another one of those disaster stories you see on the news, one of the ones that makes everyone think twice about flying again but they always do, always, there was no getting around it, Fili stop it, your imagination is getting the better of you, yes, but one day you’ll be right –

 

But not today; they slowed to a composed halt, the captain began thanking everyone for flying KQ in a bored voice, almost drowned out by the nattering flight attendants and the sound of a hundred passengers’ WhatsApps’ whistling upon regaining ground level, and everyone immediately stood up and started bustling with their bags before the seatbelt sign had switched off and the airplane had come to a complete stop. 

 

……

 

“Hello!”

 

“My god, it’s like a beachball!”

 

Their greetings came in unison and judging by Tauriel’s expression she couldn’t decide to be annoyed or delighted first; she settled for a confusing mixture of both as she hugged them. “Wow, thanks Fili, way to make a girl feel better.”

 

“How are you?” Fili asked, handing over the flowers they’d brought, presumably by way of truce as he kissed her cheek.

 

“Fine…”

 

“You don’t sound fine.”

 

“How would _you_ be in my situation? This little bastard is two weeks late,” she retorted, though her attempt at tetchiness was only half-hearted. “That’s two whole weeks of hormonal imbalance and being a size eighteen I _don’t_ need.”

 

“She doesn’t mean ‘little bastard’,” Legolas interjected, materialising in the hallway.

 

“It’s not in _your_ womb,” Tauriel muttered darkly, and Kili suppressed a smile.

 

“Would anyone like tea?” Legolas enquired politely.

 

“Bilbo would be proud,” Fili told him. Legolas smiled and he and Kili disappeared to make up a tray. Tory moved over to a cabinet to fish out a vase for the flowers.

 

“Are you seeing Mum while you’re here?”

 

“Yep. When she gets back, she’s still in the Canary Islands til Wednsesday but we’re going to go to hers for dinner next week.”

 

“Hm. She’ll be pleased. Dad’s here, by the way. I told him I’d ring if the dratted baby ever decides to arrive.”

 

“I don’t want to see him,” Fili said shortly. Tauriel rolled her eyes.

 

“Me neither, but this is his first grandchild so I think it would be a bit harsh not to tell him.” She frowned at the vehemence in Fili’s voice. “What’s –“

 

“Tea!” Kili announced brightly, re-entering the room just as Tauriel stopped abruptly, wrapping an arm around her stomach. Legolas dropped the tray on the coffee table.

 

“Is it -!?”

 

“No, no, just kicking,” Tauriel muttered, rubbing her belly as if to soothe the writing inside. “I bet he’ll be a footballer. Just my luck, I hate football.”

 

“So it’s a boy?” Kili asked, trying to steer clear of Tauriel’s apparently dour mood – he only hoped Fili didn’t mention the phrase ‘mood swings’ while she was in earshot.

 

“We don’t know,” Legolas replied.

 

“We don’t want to know,” Tory corrected. “We were worried it would be twins actually,” she added, accepting a cup from Legolas and glancing at Fili. “Genetic thing... But it’s not, thank god.”

 

Fili breathed a mock sigh of relief. “Thank god. Now our only hope is that the ginger thing skips a generation too.”

 

The phrase _if looks could kill_ crossed Kili’s mind at the glower on Tauriel’s face.

 

……

 

“What happened when you went to South Africa?” Kili asked after they’d left, having been heavily plied with tea and biscuits (mainly at Legolas’ insistence as Tauriel never got over Fili’s ginger comment) and the four of them had arranged to meet up the next day to go to the cinema. He hadn’t missed Tory and Fili’s conversation while he and Legolas were in the kitchen; it occurred to him that Fili had steered well clear of talking about the last time he saw his dad, apart from saying that it hadn’t gone well and he didn’t think he would be seeing him for a long time.

 

Fili exhaled slowly.

 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“No, I can.” Fili sighed and shivered. “God, is it always this cold in this country?”

 

Kili smiled. “Only cos last time you were here it was also February, which is winter.”

 

“Where I come from, February is beach weather.”

 

“I know.” Kili pulled his gloves off and offered them to Fili, who accepted them gratefully. He waited till he’d pulled them on before taking his hand as they kept walking down the street.

 

“My dad tried to set me up with someone. With a girl.” Kili could tell Fili was trying to sound nonchalant (and somewhat failing, given that Kili could tell at all).

 

“Oh.” Kili was a little surprised – it hadn’t been what he had expected to hear. Despite Fili’s casual tone, Kili could detect a thread of anger in his voice and – strangely – apprehension. “Why do you sound so scared?”

 

“I’m not scared.”

 

“You sounded like it.”

 

“I guess – I was worried what you’d think. And that’s why I didn’t really say it, til now.” Fili looked sideways at him. Kili smiled. Fili’s eyebrows drew together in confusion.

 

“Actually.” Kili repressed a little chuckle. “It’s kindof funny.”

 

“Funny?”

 

“Yeah. Just goes to show – well, how deluded he must be.” As he said it, Kili realised it was rather rude – but Fili snorted derisively and nodded in agreement.

 

“Yeah. She was perfectly nice, really. If she and everyone else hadn’t been dropping hints about ‘marriage’ and the whole ‘before 30’ thing.”

 

“Oh God.”

 

“Indeed. Although it was also – kindof hurtful. I’m not sure I can forgive him for that.”

 

“No.” They continued in silence as they descended the steps to the tube, beeping their oyster cards on the barriers and weaving through crowds, down escalators and along narrow tiled corridors until they emerged onto their platform. Kili eyed the litter scattered on the floor disapprovingly and wrinkled his nose at the musty smell. He’d forgotten how dirty London could be; a far cry from the scruffy charm of some of Kenya’s towns.

 

“It’s amazing,” Fili said, with the air of emerging from deep thought. “There’s so much about it, there’s been so much said and written about it. But he still seems to think it’s just a choice.” He gripped tighter to Kili’s hand.

 

Kili took his time to reply. “Well,” he managed at last. “We know what it is. And so do Dis, and Bilbo, and Tory and Thorin and all our friends and family.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“Love,” Kili replied simply. Fili raised his eyebrows and let out a laugh.

 

“Alright, John Lennon.”

 

Kili blew a large raspberry in reply. “You’re only saying that because you know it’s true.”

 

“I do,” Fili replied softly, so quietly it was almost drowned out by the deafening rattle of the approaching train.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as usual for all your comments :)  
> hope you enjoyed and that it was all clear! please let me know if you want anything clarified! X


	26. Edie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a new character arrives on the scene...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slightly later than usual update but i was struck suddenly by inspiration for a new story which has been niggling away! it's called 'No one mourns the wicked' and please check it out if it looks like your kind of thing, it is still only a baby with 2 little chapters but i warn you there will be drugs and mentions of dysfunctional families. you can find it here: 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3474590/chapters/7628051
> 
>  
> 
> we're nearing the end of this story, this is the penultimate chapter!! (although i am pole-pole working on an epilogue and another side-story a bit darker to this main one...) let me know if you have any thoughts!

Kili was jolted rudely from his sleep at four AM to Fili’s phone trilling loudly. He groaned, burying his head into the pillows after a futile attempt to open his eyes (too painful, too painful) and heard rather than saw Fili half-sitting up and blundering around on the bedside table. He didn’t focus on Fili’s conversation, letting his brain sink halfway back into unconsciousness. Fili hung up about a minute later.

 

“Well, cinema’s cancelled tomorrow,” Fili told him.

 

“Shame,” Kili replied incomprehensibly.

 

“Because Tory’s gone to hospital to have the baby.”

 

Kili sat bolt upright. “Oh shit!”

 

……

 

An hour later found them sitting in the waiting room, resisting the urge to fall back asleep. They hadn’t managed to see Tory before she went into a scary place known as the ‘delivery room’ but Legolas promised to call as soon as they could join them.

 

They waited for three-quarters of an hour before the sound of Fili’s phone rent the air, startling them a second time.

 

“Ward G on the second floor? Ok, on our way.”

 

It wasn’t hard to find: the maternity ward full of new mothers, most of the beds shielded by curtains for privacy. Tauriel and Legolas looked up from the bundle cradled in Tory’s arms at the sound of approaching footsteps, two pairs of eyes shining.

 

“Hey,” Fili whispered. “ _Congratulations_.”

 

“It’s a girl,” Legolas told them. They all stared at the tiny bundle, a miniature pink face the only thing visible around the blanket she was swathed in.

 

“She’s so small,” Kili said in a hushed voice.

 

“And purple.” Tory glared at Fili, her eyes glittering.

 

“Do you want anything?” Legolas asked, placing a gentle hand on Tory’s shoulder as if she was made of glass. He looked a little dazed as he fought to tear his eyes away from the precious infant lying placidly in her mothers arms, his daughter, less than an hour old.

 

“I’m _starving_ ,” Tauriel admitted. “I could murder a sandwich.”

 

“And so could you,” Fili stated, looking at Kili’s hopeful face.

 

“The canteen’s downstairs. We’ll be back in a minute.” Fili and Legolas walked off.

 

“How are you feeling?” Kili asked, lowering himself into a chair next to the bed. “Sorry, stupid question,” he amended hastily.

 

“It’s okay,” she sighed. She raised her eyes to meet his and smiled weakly, an odd twitch in her lips. Two tears streamed down her face as she blinked.

 

“It’s normal to cry,” Kili told her softly. He had no idea, really, he’d just seen a lot of post-birth crying in films. He reached out to hold her hand.

 

“Yeah, they told me that.” Tauriel sniffed and her chest heaved with a hiccupping sob. She turned her gaze back on the baby.

 

“This is so exciting,” Kili said, trying to sound encouraging. “Legolas is so happy. Well, he’s a bit shellshocked,” Kili chuckled. “But you can tell, he’s just ecstatic.”

 

“Is it awful if I’m not?”

 

Tauriel wiped her eyes angrily with the back of her hand in the silence that followed her statement and corrected herself hastily. “I mean, I’m just – I’m so _happy_ , of course. But I’m scared.”

 

“Of course you are,” Kili told her, trying to sound reassuring. “It’s the start of a whole new chapter.”

 

“And I’ll never dance again.” Tauriel sobbed, and pressed her lips together as if to quell another one. Kili gripped her hand tighter.

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“But it’s true.” Tauriel took several shaky breaths before more tears slipped down her cheeks and she began crying in earnest. “I loved dancing. It was my life. And we didn’t plan this, and of course I love them both but… It’ll take me so long to get back into shape, and by the time I’m even ready to go back to work I’ll be too old and they’ll have replaced me and… and... ” Tauriel’s words dissolved into small stifled sobs.

 

“You’re nervous,” Kili found himself saying. “That’s fine. I’d say if you weren’t nervous, you weren’t doing it right.”

 

“I’m not just _nervous_ – I don’t know what to do.” Tauriel was still staring at the baby, eyes red-rimmed. “Dancing was my _life_. Apart from Leggy of course. And now – everything’s changed.”

 

Kili was starting to feel stirrings of recognition deep inside.

 

“Did Fili ever tell you about when I first came to Kenya?”

 

“The first time…” she contemplated. “Well, he wouldn’t shut up about you after we all went to Kilifi that time together.”

 

“He wouldn’t?” Kili allowed himself to be warmed for a minute at that thought before he continued. “Well, I first came to Kenya to be a wildlife photographer.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, exactly,” Kili said at Tauriel’s confused expression. “I loved it. I really did. But then I realised that it wasn’t for me. I was a shit photographer – not that you’re a shit dancer!” he backtracked hastily, and Tauriel almost laughed. “But – then I saw Fili’s photos and realised I was much better off being something else. I tried to think of it as a new possibility, a new opportunity. So I guess – what I learned from that – what I’m saying is – there’s more than one path for everyone. There’s so much you can do with your life - everything might be different now, but it’ll be good.”

 

Kili’s motivational speech reached a welcome end, but thankfully, Tauriel giggled.

 

“I’m not sure you can compare a change of career to a baby – but thanks.”

 

“Anytime. I think we both know I shouldn’t write speeches.”

 

“No,” Tauriel admitted, and they both grinned.

 

“I’ve always wanted to get back into my painting,” she confessed.

 

“You _should_!” Kili said encouragingly. “I’ve seen your paintings at Bilbo’s house, they’re beautiful, honestly.”

 

Their conversation was cut short eyes turning as two blonde figures came into view.

 

“You are a _saint_ ,” Tory sighed, reaching out for the sandwich Legolas held out. “Thanks.” She looked at Fili. “Do you want to hold her?”

 

Fili’s eyes widened. “Of course.”

 

It was as if the room waited with bated breath as Tauriel shifted the bundle, raising her slightly so Fili could fold his arms around her.

 

“You’ve got to hold her like this – not too tight, and keep her head up.”

 

For once, Fili accepted his sister’s advice without comment, his eyes glued on the tiny pink face, nose twitching and eyelids fluttering as she stirred, adjusting to a new hold.

 

“Hello little one,” Fili murmured, awe-struck.

 

“What are you going to call her?”

 

“Edith,” Tauriel replied. “We’ll call her Edie for short. After Leggy’s grandmother.”

 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Kili told her sincerely. “Isn’t it? Isn’t it, Fili?”

 

“Yeah,” Fili replied, a few beats late. “It’s perfect.”

 

……

 

Kili was starting to realise why no one could stop staring at the baby – she was utterly mesmerising. Her tiny ears, tiny fingers, capped with tiny fingernails, perfect pink lips and soft, smooth skin – she was captivating. 

 

When she opened her eyes Kili thought the world had opened up before him. They were dark, the same colour all baby’s eyes were, and Kili wondered if they would fade to their father’s crystal grey or darken to Tauriel’s hazel green. She stared up at Kili, not smiling, not frowning either, just staring, taking him in. Kili could see himself reflected in the dark circles.

 

Fili had been sitting with Tauriel, talking quietly until she fell asleep. He pulled the curtains gently to and smiled as he watched Kili, staring at the baby as if he’d never seen one before. When they’d first asked if he’d like to hold her, Fili could have laughed at the moment of panic that flashed behind Kili’s eyes before he nodded, apparently steeling himself. Now he was rocking her gently in his arms, murmuring quietly to her.

 

“I hope you’re not singing to her. That could count as child cruelty.”

 

Kili turned as Fili approached, glancing up quickly and flashing him a smile.

 

“You’re mean.”

 

“Only honest.” He kissed Kili on the cheek by way of apology. They stared down at the baby, lost for words.

 

“Do you want one?”

 

Fili ran a finger lightly over her soft head, covered by a dusting of downy pale hair, too early tell what colour it was. Kili didn’t have to reply.

 

“Can I take her?”

 

Kili surrendered Edith to Fili’s loving arms. Her big eyes, if possible, widened, as if in recognition.

 

“Hey there, Edie,” Fili crooned. “Remember me?”

 

Kili was going to tease him, something silly like “We can’t keep this one,” or “Just wait til the nappies start, then we’ll see where you’ll be,” but he found that he couldn’t, arms wrapped around Fili’s waist and chin on Fili’s shoulder, both gazing down at Edie, his lips stretched too wide in an adoring smile to be sassy.

 

……

 

“Hello Edie, this is your uncle Fili. Or Edith. I don’t know what you’re calling yourself these days. Or at least when you’re eighteen and finally watching this video. Hey, who even knows if they have cameras anymore, or if people just have – webcams permanently stuck on their heads or something. Say hi, Kili.”

 

“Are we really doing this? I thought it was only Americans who did this.”

 

“Suck it up. This is your uncle Kili. Well he’s not exactly your uncle yet, but I have a feeling he’s going to be around for a while.”

 

“Um –?!“

 

“This is the day you were born, and we’re still at the hospital. You’re with your mum and dad right now. We just want to say we love you _so much!_ See, Kili can’t stop grinning when we talk about you.”

 

“Shut up, get that camera out of my face.”

 

“He’s only kidding, he’s a total camera whore.”

 

“Fili, you can’t say that in the baby’s video!”

 

“Oops. Whatever, we can edit that bit out. Um. Ok it’s your turn. Do something.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“A bloody sing-and-dance routine! No wait, _don’t sing_ , just – say something nice.”

 

“Hi, Edie, this is Kili. Ditto everything Fili said before, plus we are both utterly besotted with you and you are beautiful and… and...”

 

“Are you tearing up?”

 

“No, I just can’t think of anything else to say!”

 

“Fine I’ll take over. We just want to say we love you so much, already, and we can’t imagine loving you more, but we know we only will in the years to come. We are going to be the best uncles ever!”

 

“We’re going to take you on safari…”

 

“… and we will always give you the best toys…”

 

“… and you will always be allowed to drink Coke at our house…

 

“ _No_. I do not allow sugary carbonated beverages over my threshold. Unless they’re beer.”

 

“You are going to be a crap uncle.”

 

“ _Hem hem,_ language! Anyway, Edie, you can always ride on my shoulders, even when you’re ten and technically far to big for it…”

 

“… and we will go to every one of your school plays…”

 

“Ok, that might be hard if we’re not living in the same country, but we’ll try.”

 

“… and we’ll take you paintballing and go-karting even when it’s not your birthday…”

 

“…and when the time comes, we will buy you vodka and pick you up from parties when you’re drunk and you don’t want your parents to see…”

 

“You can’t say _that_!”

 

“Why not, you’re telling me your uncles never did that for you?”

 

“Well, yes, Frerin did, but that was strictly on the DL.”

 

“… and we’ll beat up any boy who breaks your heart…”

 

“… or any girl…”

 

“You’re picking a shit time to be politically correct.”

 

“Okay, I think we’ve established we won’t be putting any of this in the video.”

 

“Fucking hell. Let’s start again.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (that last bit may have been one of the funnest bits to write. hehe)
> 
> as usual all comments/feedback/suggestions/kudos welcomed :)


	27. Dela

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's nice to be back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (a gentle reminder that Fili was singing a song by Johnny Clegg called Asimbonanga in an earlier chapter)
> 
> a certain scene in here might be recognised by FiliKiliThorin forever who suggested cuddles + monkeys a while ago!!
> 
> **CORRECTION: sorry, it was Ann+Rossin who suggested monkeys+cuddles! my apologies Xx

“It’s nice to be back.”

 

“Mmm.”

 

Kili cuddled lazily into Fili’s shoulder, one arm wrapped around Fili’s back, the tips of his fingers buried in the long strands of Fili’s hair. He let his eyes slide shut.

 

A crash from outside reached his ears, but Kili felt too lazy to be worried.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Probably another branch falling off a tree,” Fili yawned.

 

“What time is it?”

 

Fili peered over Kili’s shoulder at his watch.

 

“It’s twelve-thirty.”

 

“Wow.” Kili extricated himself from Fili’s arms and stretched. “I’m getting up.”

 

“More room for me,” Fili replied gleefully, throwing himself into the space Kili had just vacated.

 

“I thought you were meant to be a morning person.”

 

“It’s afternoon now,” Fili pointed out. “And besides, we got in at five AM. It takes me a while to recover.”

 

“You slept through the _entire flight_ last night.” Kili snorted at Fili’s lack of response, shoving his shoulder affectionately. “Wimp. I’m starving.”

 

“Me too,” Fili realised. He peeked over his pillow hopefully. “Bring me a coffee?”

 

“I hope you’re okay with instant.”

 

“Thank you,” Fili called after him. He snuggled back into the pillows contentedly, bringing one leg up and kicking off the covers. It was nice being back where it was _hot_.

 

He jumped as he heard Kili’s delighted laughter. “Fili! Oh, Fili, you’ve got to see this!”

 

Fili ran into the hallway at the urgency of Kili’s shout – and to his horror laid eyes on three monkeys, perching happily on the kitchen table, helping themselves to the newly replenished fruit bowl.

 

“ _Shoo! Shoo!”_ he roared, charging past Kili, doubled-up against the wall in stitches. The monkeys shot off through the open window.

 

“Did we forget to lock the windows again?”

 

“Might have done…” Kili admitted guiltily.

 

They ran outside to see the monkeys now happily perched in the trees with their bounty. Arnold, for once, was barking at them, but they took no notice of her.

 

“Those were _imported_ oranges!” Fili said crossly. “They were expensive!”

 

“Cheer up,” Kili grinned. “I think it’s a brunch day.”

 

Fili opened the fridge as Kili settled down at the counter with his laptop.

 

“Aren’t you going to help?”

 

Kili looked up, bemused. “I _am_ helping. I’m being DJ.”

 

“Yeah, or you could fry the bacon you love so much.”

 

“I believe you have forgotten last time you allowed me near the gas stove,” Kili said wisely.

 

“True,” Fili conceded. “But you are not incapable of beating eggs,” he hinted, pushing a whisk and a bowl across the counter. Kili, accepting defeat, hopped down.

 

“Hey.” Fili’s eyes brightened as he heard the tune now emanating from Kili’s laptop. “You downloaded that album.”

 

“Yep. Johnny Clegg.” Kili’s smile broadened as recognition and affection dawned on Fili’s face. He hummed along to the cheery panpipe intro, cradling his bowl of eggs as he started dancing, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “ _I think I know why the dog howls at the moon…_ ”

 

“I love this song, but ever since it was used in ‘George of the Jungle’ it’s one of songs people _always_ sing on safari. That, and the sodding Lion King, and Toto’s ‘Africa’ _._ Talk about naff. _”_

 

“De-la! Dela, minangya de-la! When I’m with you!”

 

“You know those aren’t the words right?” Fili laughed.

“Dance with me!” Kili demanded, sending his bowl of eggs skittering onto the counter.

 

“Kee –“ but whatever Fili was about to protest broke into a laugh as Kili grabbed his arms and pulled him into an enthusiastic dance. “ _Dela! Dela, mama sondela! When I’m with you.”_

“I’ve been waiting for you all my life! Searching for a miracle!”

 

“I’ve been waiting day and night!”

 

“Day and night!” they sang together.

 

Fili stared as Kili raised a hand over both their heads.

 

“No way am I twirling.”

 

“Be a sport.” Kili pushed him, but Fili didn’t move so Kili ducked under his own hands and did a spin.

 

“I’ve been waiting for you all my life… Hoping for a miracle… I’ve been waiting day and night, I burn for you…”

 

Fili couldn’t suppress a grin as he watched Kili, staring into his bottomless brown eyes as he stomped his feet and sang so loudly the words reverberated around the room, Kili in one of his old kikois and the same black tshirt he was wearing when they met, red dust embedded in his bare feet.

 

 _I think I know why the dog howls at the moon_  

 

_I think I know why the dog howls at the moon_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> et voila!
> 
> i hope none of you are disappointed that there is no proposal in this chapter - but i think it goes without saying!
> 
> the story is finished (for now!) but i will be posting an epilogue as soon as i've finished it
> 
> thank you everyone for sticking with this story, it's been an adventure Bilbo would (hopefully) be proud of :) 
> 
> Xxxxxxxxxxx


	28. Epilogue

The sunshine shone through the chink in the Masai shukka curtains in the house on Thigiri Ridge, sending a stripe of light over the recovered purple sofa (now an attractive shade of green). It brushed gracefully over the mess of toys on the floor, Top Trumps cards scattered across the coffee table from a long game last night, and illuminated the paintings on the walls, each of them signed with a small ‘T.W.’. It glinted off the photo frames crammed on the mantelpiece, over a photo of Kili laughing on the back of a camel, a small black-haired girl sitting in front of him, a stunned looking Fili cradling a baby fast asleep on his chest.

 

The sunshine finally filtered through the curtains of the bedroom, casting a yellow light over the two men buried in bed. A faint beeping sounded, quickly switched off. One of them stirred. “Time to get up.”

 

Kili crept into the second bedroom. “Wakey-wakey, girls,” he whispered. One bundle grunted but did not emerge. The second one sat up, chocolate eyes bright with excitement as she yawned.

 

Kili was pouring cereal into bowls when Fili came down with the second, grinning. “This one’s not a morning person,” he informed Kili, grinning. Big blue eyes glared sleepily from a light brown face, blonde shoulder-length curls dangling in her face as she pouted.

 

Sasha, already at the table, rolled her eyes.

 

An hour later found them packed into the car, ready to go. Five minutes later they turned around because Fili had left his camera behind. Five minutes after that, Sasha screeched that she’d left her hat. Twenty minutes later, it was too late to go back and get the extra pair of binoculars (which they had specifically left on the little table in the hall so they wouldn’t forget them).

 

It was early enough that there was only a short queue outside the national park gates. They drove through the shady tree-lined road, eventually emerging onto the plains, the girls in the back positively buzzing with excitement.

 

“You girls want to go on the roof?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Alright, up you get.” Sasha and Neave, giggling madly, undid their seatbelts in a flash and were clambering up. Sasha hauled herself up on her own, and Kili stood up on his seat to hoist Neave up next to her. They settled on the roof rack, grinning.

 

“Make sure Neave doesn’t fall off,” Kili told Sasha, and she wrapped an arm around her sister protectively.

 

“All aboard?” Fili shouted and started the car.

 

Kili slid a Mumford and Sons CD into the car stereo.

 

“ _And it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line –“_

 

Kili lunged for the volume control, just in time. The girls on the roof stuck their hands in their mouths, giggling around their knuckles.

 

“They already know the word,” Fili told him quietly, suppressing a smile of his own.

 

“I refuse to believe that.” Kili glared at him. “How would they know?”

 

Fili focused unnecessarily hard on the empty road in front of them as he muttered, “Road rage is beyond my control, you know that…”

 

Kili groaned and Fili had the decency to look chagrined but Kili didn’t stay mad for long, as they came across a group of delightfully dirty buffalo rolling in a muddy field.

 

They all groaned when Fili turned back, heading towards the main gates.

 

“We have to leave now if we want to get there in time for dinner.” Sasha and Neave both pouted, reluctantly climbing down and settling in the backseat when the park gates came into view.

 

“The animals will still be here next week. Come on, won’t you be happy to see Grandma and Bobo?”

 

“Bobo and Gamma!” Neave shrieked delightedly. 

 

“How long till we get there?” Sasha whined.

 

“Not long.” _Three hours_ , Kili answered honestly in his head. He threw a packet of chocolate biscuits into the backseat to distract the girls’ attention from the long drive for a moment.

 

“They’ll be fast asleep in five minutes,” Fili muttered, and sure enough, next time Kili turned in his seat to check on the suspicious silence from the back, both girls were lolling in their seats, chocolate melting on Sasha’s fingers and all around Neave’s mouth.

 

They sped down the motorway out of town and descended the highlands, and Kili stared out of the window at the Rift Valley as it unfolded on their left. It never ceased to amaze and baffle Kili that Fili could be terrified of jumbo jets but drive on this road, clinging precariously to the side of the plateau, as if there was no chance they could easily tumble down the steep sheer slope mere feet on the left.

 

It was just before sundown that they pulled up to the big white house. Kili went round to the back to unload their bags.

 

“Girls, we’ve arrived,” Fili began softly, pulling lightly on Neave’s socked foot, but Sasha was already blinking awake.

 

“Granma and Bobo!” she cried, throwing off her seatbelt and charging towards the front door that had just opened.

 

“Little _darlings_!”

 

“We missed you!”

 

“Hey that’s fine, we don’t need your help carrying the bags,” Fili pretended to grouse, watching as Dis and Bilbo gave them a wave and went into the house, enveloped in little girls and their excited chatter about the animals they’d seen that morning.

 

He and Kili hauled open the boot and dragged their bags into the busy house. It was the Easter holidays, and everyone was back. Frodo was back from boarding school, though he had to study for his upcoming exams. He was sixteen, and Fili was struck again by how much he’d grown as he hugged his cousin hello (it wasn’t _fair_ , he’d never had a growth spurt like that when he was a teenager – at this rate, there would be yet another male taller than him in the family).

 

Tauriel, Edie and Legolas had made it too and Sasha and Edie greeted eachother ecstatically – they were two years apart and couldn’t be more unalike, short wild Sasha with mane of unruly dark hair like her father's, Edie willowy and the spitting image of Tauriel at that age except that her straight bob was platinum blonde rather than red, but other than that they were peas in a pod. Tauriel had delved into her paintings after Edie was born, and taught dance classes – Legolas was due to retire in a few years, having finally found his big break as some character named Prince Siegfried in _Swan Lake_ with the Birmingham Royal Ballet, which was apparently very important and a Big Deal.

 

They sat down to dinner, still catching up on everyone’s news and stuffing themselves with the feast that was practically customary in Bilbo and Dis' house - everyone told them they should open a restaurant, and they said that maybe one day they would.   

 

“ ‘Fro, would you like a beer?”

 

“A-frodo, could you pass me the mash, please?”

 

“Ha-ha,” Frodo muttered mirthlessly, rolling his eyes.

 

“Sorry, my boy,” Bilbo smiled fondly, patting him consolingly on the forearm. The combination of Frodo’s name and the fact that he had decided to grow his hair into an afro made the puns too good to resist. He was a good sport, letting his little cousins comb their fingers through his curls, giggling madly, and stick anything from a crayon to a Top Trumps card in it to see if it would stay, until Frodo finally pretended to be a monster, raising his arms and roaring to chase them away, howling with laughter.

 

After dinner, Bilbo poured port for all who wanted it and Fili slumped into an armchair with a little glass. Tauriel was in the corner, giving Edie and Sasha an impromptu ballet lesson – ankles together they swayed and bent their knees and waved their arms obediently, looking adorable in their white and navy blue tutus. Neave, who was still too small (and, Fili suspected, too tomboyish, to do ballet) was in her pyjamas, nestled between her grandparents as they read her a story. Kili was on Dis’ other side, seemingly listening in, as was Legolas, dividing his attention between the story and stealing adoring glances at his wife – they had finally gotten married just after Edie was born, not that that had come as a surprise to anyone. Fili sipped on his port and listened to Frodo, sitting on a stool next to him and strumming on his guitar; he was pretty good, and it was about time they had a musician in the family.

 

He vaguely recalled his father was musical – or had been musical at least. It had been months since they’d heard from Randy, and over a year since they’d seen him last – he visited about once a year to see his grandchildren and it was a perfunctory visit more than anything, awkward and brief, no one knowing quite what to say. Nothing like this.

 

“Mind if I join in?” Fili stood ramrod-straight behind the two tutu-ed girls, and tried to lock his ankles the way they had in an almost straight line. The two girls giggled as he bent his legs and swept his arms in a grand arc. Tauriels’ lips puckered disapprovingly and Kili snorted.

 

“Your plié looks more like the haka,” Kili told him.

 

Fili turned to look at him and mimed a ferocious expression, slapping his thighs menacingly.

 

“Time for bed, I think,” Bilbo chuckled, gesturing at Neave, curled up and dozing in Dis’ arms with her thumb rammed in her mouth.

 

Dis and Bilbo took all three girls upstairs to the room they shared – the parents dropped in to tuck them in and give them each a goodnight kiss, before bidding eachother a good night and leaving Bilbo and Dis to read them one last bedtime story.

 

Fili closed the door to their bedroom behind him. He turned when a breeze wisped across his cheek and saw the door to the little balcony was open. Kili was standing there, looking out across lake at the end of the midnight-blue lawn, glittering in light of the big white moon.

 

“It’s going to rain tonight,” Kili mused, as Fili’s arms closed around his waist. “The season’s due to start.”

 

“Hmm.” Fili dropped a kiss on Kili’s shoulders, looking out across with him. They could see the vague silhouette of a hippo grazing against the sparkling water’s edge.

 

“Frodo’s very patient, isn’t he? With his cousins I mean,” Kili chuckled. “Cousins? Or nieces? He’s technically my step-brother after all.”

 

“Don’t think about that,” Fili grumbled. “It’s weird.”

 

“We’re a weird family. But a happy one,” Kili laughed, closing his hands over Fili’s wrists.

 

Yes, that was true, Fili thought, smiling into Kili’s shoulder as Kili turned around. He cupped Fili’s face in his hands and leaned down for a kiss.

 

“Oh look,” Kili said softly, stretching out a hand as a light breeze, simultaneously heavy and cool, expectant, brushed over them, and a few pattering sounds of drops hitting the rooftiles and the ground began. “Rain.”

 

 

\----- _fin-----_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here at last :) a few months late but oh well...
> 
> approximate ages: Frodo 16, Edie 10, Sasha 8 and Neave 4. I like to think Fili and Kili drew straws to decide who would 'go first' as it were, and Kili came first.
> 
> thank you all again so much for reading this story to the end and i hope you all enjoyed :) find me on tumblr at injera94.tumblr.com 
> 
> XXXXXXX


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